enigmatic

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About enigmatic

  • Rank
    VHLMer

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Player
    Hiroshi Okada

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  1. I probably should. I need to show dominance.
  2. Yesterday was one of the most exciting moments in Hiroshi Okada's life. After being drafted by the Calgary Stampede, it was time for him to play his first game with his new team. After the ref threatened to have him removed from the game if he didn't stop wearing a cowboy hat instead of his hockey helmet, Hiroshi knew he was blacklisted. While he didn't take any penalty in this match, the ref did everything he could so Hiroshi wouldn't score like the scoring machine he is. It's the only logical explanation why he got no points because everybody agrees he's a prodigy. After the game, Okada kept his cool and refused to call out the referees: "They ale just doing theil jobs... they can't have one playel scole too many goals duling his filst game. It's bad fol business." How can someone his age be so humble even if he has every right to brag? Who knows. We can only be thankful the Stampede blessed us with this player, people of Calgary. This message was paid for by Hiroshi Osaka, who is totally not Hiroshi Okada.
  3. 1. On a scale of 1-10, how strict was your VHLM GM (Or VHL)? DMaximus was my GM and he was a pretty chill dude. I'll say 6 just so people don't underestimate his au-to-ri-tay. But really, he's probably a 2. 3. If you could time travel, when would you go? Probably in the future because the past was trash. You were as likely to die in war as you were from drinking water. People say things are getting worse but I disagree so I would like to see what happens in the future. 4. What personality trait has gotten you in the most trouble? People in general love Hiroshi Okada but some men find his confidence menacing. It's not his fault women love him and ignore other guys. 9. Would You Rather sleep wearing handcuffs or a bike helmet? I feel like I would have less of a chance of losing a limb if I slept with a bike helmet. If the bloodflow gets blocked while you sleep, shit's not funny. 10. Would You Rather be uncontrollably laughing for the rest of your life or uncontrollably crying? Uncontrollably laughing. Then I could justify becoming the clown prince of crime. 12. What are your movie theater popcorn habits? I throw them up and catch em with my mouth. I make sure to sit in the first row to make sure everybody witnesses my awesomeness.
  4. F - Mikko Aaltonen D - Smitty Werberjagermanjensen @Beketov
  5. You made my season in Philly super enjoyable. We were so close to making it to the playoffs and I'm sure you'll get there very soon
  6. Thanks! That's definitely the goal
  7. Hiroshi Okada was not pleased with his draft rank last night and was seen crying a little harder every time a player that wasn't him was selected. The cameraman and producers seemed particularly amused because they would cut to him after each pick and zoom on his face. Okada was finally selected 9th overall by the Calgary Wranglers but he wasn't even their first choice. The Wranglers preferred RJ Rubis to him at 5. Okada went on stage, eyes as red as his new team's jersey. "We love all our players equally", said Calgary GM Tyler Barabash Jr when asked to comment on his decisions on draft night. He did not convince anybody with this statement but Okada has proved in the past that draft rankings wouldn't stop him being a better player than projected so fans and experts in Calgary are all excited to see what he will bring to the Wranglers. Hiroshi Okada refused to speak to media following the draft, simply saying he was too tired... it was probably from all the crying but he'd never admit it.
  8. Excited to play with you this season
  9. I'm just here so I don't get fined.
  10. 1) The draft is this week. Are you excited? I'm so excited and I just can't hide it. 2) Describe the outfit you’ll be wearing to the draft. I will be attending the draft with my mother who will transport all my clothes, which will be colour-coded for every VHL franchise. She has been working out for the occasion. She's buff af. 3) If you could create a new franchise, where would you put them? How come? Somewhere in Asia (Japan obviously) to break with the League's tradition of only having teams in America and Europe. 4) Describe the first goal you ever scored. It had been a frustrating first season. No goals and like 2 assists. For my time in Philadelphia, I wanted people to remember me. So my first goal was spectacular. The goalie looked stupid. He had never seen hands faster than mine. He wept when he saw how well I skated. And, blinded by tears, he just couldn't make the save. That or I deflected someone's shot. Who knows anymore. 5) Check your pockets. Choose 1 item. Why is it in your pocket? How did it get there? Probably a chick's phone number. Women go craz... well, you know. 6) What is your favorite smell? Why? My own body odor.