caltroit_red_flames

It's me, I'm the company lol. If you find someone with software engineering experience I can show em a general outline of how it works but it's a heavy lift and they can't ever leave the job

Bro what no way thank you!

Maybe funny isn't the right word... Interesting is probably better.

Funny how National Geographic says he was a "prolific lover" and not a serial rapist

605 words After being deemed to dangerous to be left in the VHLm Genghis Khan is making his way to the pro leagues. That's right VHL, watch out. Khan is looking to put an old myth to the test. After hearing that players in a different league were able to become in elite in an extremely short period of time simply by focusing on puck control, shooting and positioning Khan has built his entire training regiment around those three tenants. Will his plan be fruitful in creating a career with minimal effort? Time will tell, but as of right now it's clear that he's a prime scoring threat. The manager of the New York Americans informed him just hours after signing that his shot is so dangerous that he'll be playing the point on the power play this season. In my opinion that's an excellent spot for Khan to be played. Just by looking at his stats you can see that Khan is the kind of player you want to have shooting the puck regularly. Every season his goals scored have been on pace with his assist numbers, and in S77 he scored 53, that's not a typo, 53 goals and 50 assists. You're not going to find a higher offense player than him with so little time put in at practices or the gym. So what's Khan going to be working on this season? Defense. His shot is already top notch, it's time to learn the professional level of play's systems to make sure he's in the right spots to break up plays, create odd man rushes and be in prime scoring position as often as possible. You're never going to see him laying the body or killing penalties but by golly Khan is going to create offense in every way possible even if it means blocking a few shots to send the puck back up the ice. Where does Khan fit in on New York? Firmly on the 3rd line. And to be honest, he's fine with that. Before this signing there were talks that Khan could be in limbo without a team to play on. Word is that there were several factors that led to Khan ending up in New York though. To start with, Khan's agent had put a public release on social media essentially begging GMs to find a spot for him on their rosters and in their accounting tables. Not exactly a great place to be in terms of leveraging dollars but if that's your only option you have to use it. The VHL front office noticed that there were in fact more than a few players in the same position as Khan though and opted to apply pressure to GMs to start filling out their rosters behind 1st and 2nd lines. With that came a less interesting tidbit of information but a neat little factoid nonetheless. It turns out that Khan actually has a family tie to the New York Americans through their GM. Have you heard that nearly 8% of people are genetically related to Genghis Khan? (https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/mongolia-genghis-khan-dna) Well who would have thought, but the GM @Esso2264 is actually a long decedent of his. Try telling the ruthless and maniacal conqueror of Asia whom you're related to that you don't have room for him. Yeah, yikes. Finally Khan happens to be very good friends with ex-teammate in the VHLm @Shiny. What a whirlwind of factors that led up to this signing. What should we expect from Khan in New York? Goals. Lots of them. We'll be watching closely to see how all of this unravels.

Wow, VHL. Great moves, keep it up. Proud of you!

I've been signed! Thanks ya'll

Khan looking for major league team. Doing the button clicks each week. Currently at 270 TPE. Will sign for minimum.

1) 5th place isn't perfect but last I checked there are a lot more than 5 teams. Let's keep at it! 2) Well I can't really speak for the other two but I know Genghis Khan has really taken the advice of his coaches to heart and started working on what they say he needs to do to succeed. 3) Honestly I think more than anything he's doing a great job of facilitating the great offensive players we have at forward. 4) Probably shootout. I love making our goalies look silly. 5) Miracle, it's a classic for a reason. 6) A private chef. The boys get hungry after practice!

1. FA opens soon, any targets stand out to you? Not this offseason. I would personally wait until next offseason because this one looks pretty rough. 2. Who takes the scoring title for the team this season? Jeffrey Pines. He has the scoring touch and teammates around him to really get it done. 3. It's Nygren's last season, how many hits does he retire with? I'm going to guess he retires with more than 1900 but less than 2000. 4. Which team looks the strongest right now? LA. We're the best fuck the haters. 5. Which team would you absolutely never play for? None honestly, I just want to be on a team with my friends. 6. Which NHL team is your favorite? Detroit Red Wings :rip:

Draft when

+10 Genghis Khan

pog

:caljuice:

pog

Real talk this is poggers good job commish

Excuse me but @gorlab informed that we don't do this kind of stuff here

Reported

Can someone with admin perms move it?

Delete

Over the recent days there have been several new members added to the team in Houston. Interestingly enough those players happen to also be some of the greatest conquerors the world has ever known, along with a structural wonder known far and wide. First came Napoleon Bonaparte. The military emperor from France who rose to power during the French Revolution in the 1790s. He led the country over the course of 2 distinct reigns, one between 1804 and 1814 which saw the French Empire take dominion over the Holy Roman Empire, Spain, Italy, and nearly the rest of Western Europe. Of course reign would come to and end, but unexpectedly he rose to power once again for a total of about 4 months. Since then he has stayed in exile honing his hockey talents. Next came Alexander the Great, king of ancient Greece and husband to three separate wives. As king of Macedonia and Persia he established the largest empire in the entire ancient world. It spanned all the way from Macedonia to India to Egypt. Truly an amazing amount of land to rule over in a single kingdom. It is believed that he died after the death of friend and lover Hephaestion passed away. In reality he has been living in northern Canada waiting for his moment to take the hockey world by storm. There is of course the Mongolian Emperor Genghis Khan as well whose influence is seen throughout the entire world. His reign was only a short 19 years but in that time he pillaged and ruled over more than half of Asia's land. Following the split of the Mongol empire which saw wars of succession for Khan's throne there became a total of 5 different regions. Khan would spend the next 800 years training in the sport of hockey, never paying any mind to defense but always working scoring. Lastly the literal Leaning Tower of Pisa has come to Houston to join the Bulls. Nobody knows how or even why it was compelled to come Houston, the tower just showed up outside the arena one day with a note stuck to it that said "I want to play hockey" -Tower of Pisa. Who in their right mind is going to deny that kind of star power and publicity? So the GM signed the Leaning Tower of Pisa and history was made with the first building to player in the VHLM! The three conquerors sat together at a card table playing poker and reminiscing about their battles throughout history, congratulating each other on their exceptional empires and poking fun at Napoleon's short stature. Khan: "You know there are 16 million descendants of mine throughout the world? That has to be some kind of a record." Napoleon "Well not all of us a crazed sex perverts like you Genghis, some of us just wanted to create a large empire." Alexander "Speak for yourself Napoleon, you're just salty cause you could find a woman to bend down low enough to reach your crumb." Khan and Alexander gave out a heart laugh. Napoleon "I swear it one day you'll push me just a little too far. And on that day I'll-" Khan "You'll what, shorty? It's 2 against 1. 3 against 1 if you count our tower buddy" Napoleon "You never know, there could be someone else joining our ranks soon. Another historical conqueror..." The hair on everyone's arms started to stand tall. You could tell there was something wrong. It was something in the air. In the distance they heard it... A shouting from far away... "DEUTSCHE ERGEBENHEIT!" Khan "No. He's not allowed" Alexander "Jesus Christ Napoleon fucking tell me you didn't invite him" Napoleon "Hey I didn't do anything, he just showed up"

HORNS UP!!!!