EXT-MOSCOW AIRPORT-NIGHT
The private jet of Sir William Covington III lands in Moscow, it is greeted on the tarmac by a fleet of black SUV’s. As the plane comes to a stop the doors to the cars open up and highly armed men get out of the car and secure the area. As the door opens to the plane, Vladimir Putin gets out of one of the SUV’s and walks to the end of the stairs as William emerges from the plane with a giant smile on his face. William walks to Putin and hugs him.
Putin
How is it going?
William
Same old shit bud, trying to be me and people hating me for it
Putin
You come to play for the red wolves?
William laughs out loud
William
I wanted to but the person who runs the team played with his thumbs in his ass
Putin
Oh he is gay? Russia does not have any gays
William
No not gay, but stupid
Putin
Oh we have many of those
William
This man is not Russian
Putin
Then fuck him
William
Exactly
Ahma and Stabby stubble to the stairs and as they begin to walk down the stairs Ahma trips and falls all the way down taking Stabby with him. William and Putin laugh at them. Putin snaps his fingers and points at the Ahma and Stabby
Putin
Take them to Gulag
William thinks for a second as he picture the two in the gulag then laughs at the thought
William
No they are here with me… sadly
Putin
Yes very sad indeed
Putin points down at Ahma and Stabby
Putin
Put them in the trunk
INT-CAR-NIGHT
William and Putin are having drinks in the back of the SUV as naked women give them lap dances. Putin has an intense look on his face as William takes the whole bottle of Russian Rum and chugs from it
Putin
I do not understand why this stupid non-Russian man does not want you to play for his pathetic team
William smacks Putin on the leg
William
Enjoy the sluts, they are my top of the top Russian Prostitutes
Putin
They are no thrill to me
William thinks for a second
William
I forgot who I was talking to. You ride bears not horses
Putin
I want to ride a Giraffe
William
That’s a bit silly if you don’t mind me saying bud. Why not a Tiger or even a Liger
Putin
Liger?
William
Yeah they made a Lion and Tiger fuck and out popped at Liger
Putin
Interesting…
William drinks more from the bottle
William
Interesting indeed
Putin pushes the hooker off his lap and pulls out a solid gold phone out of his pocket. He presses a button and waits for a second
Putin
Get the war head ready
William looks at him a bit surprised by what he is hearing
William
Warhead? What you are doing? Invading a country?
Putin
No, I will threaten non-Russian with a nuke if he does not trade for you
William
No offence bud, but I do not want to play for the Red Wolves. They have no chance against Bern
Putin thinks for a second
Putin
How about I invade Switzerland then force them to trade for you. That way you are playing for Russia
William
I like where you head is at but hold off on that idea for now. I love it in Saskatoon with these two morons
William smacks the seat
Ahma
Can we get out of here?
Putin
Shut up back there unless you want to be strapped to a nuke
Ahma pushes the arm rest down between the seats and pokes his out from the trunk
Ahma
That might be more comfortable then this
Putin
It can be arranged
William
How about getting us to the game and you can nuke whoever you want after
Putin
I wait for no man! Except for you Willie
William give Putin an annoyed look
William
That’s King William to you
Putin
Sorry King William
INT-LOCKER ROOM-NIGHT
William and Putin are drinking heavily in the locker room as Stabby lays in a heap among his equipment and barfing can be heard from the washroom.
Putin
These two cannot hold their liquor
William
What do you expect? Ahma is a drunk finnish polar bear hunter that thinks he can run a hockey team and Stabby thinks he can play hockey
Stabby mumbles
Stabby
I play hockey
William
Yeah horribly
Stabby
Stabby play hockey
William
Yes he does but sucks at it
Stabby
Stabby no suck
Putin
How do you expect to win with people like this on your team?
William
Easy! I don’t expect to win
Putin
I can fix the game
William
Really? You would do that for me?
Putin
It would be my pleasure
William does the Mr. Burns Excellent thing with his fingers then drinks more.
INT-ARENA-NIGHT
At the start of the Game Putin is sitting right behind the Red Wolves Bench with a briefcase on his lap. He taps it then points at the coach. The coach talks to his players. As the game starts and Tanner Hynes gets a penalty for Hooking 59 seconds into the game. William gets it done on a very easy goal by Stabby 12 seconds later. Stabby can barely skate but puts the puck in off his face as he is falling face first onto the ice while puking. Putin celebrates the goal which makes the whole arena cheer for the visiting team. Moscow answers back quickly which makes Putin boo his hometown team. The whole arena boos. Ten minutes later Moscow goes up one which infuriates Putin who smacks the briefcase against the glass and saying “У меня есть коды прямо здесь. Я сделаю это. Не вызывайте Мой блеф” which roughly translates to I have the codes right here. I'll do it. Do not call my bluff. 30 seconds later the Re Wolves D lets Stabby and William easily by them and the goalie skates out of the net allowing William easily score. As the arena erupts Steven the GM of the Red Wolves comes down to the bench telling them that Putin will not nuke an arena that he is in. Nor will he nuke his own city. The Red Wolves go onto win 4-2.
EXT-AIRPORT-NIGHT
Putin
Must you leave?
William
Yeah I have to go be a hockey star elsewhere. But I’ll be back. Find that Liger bud
Putin
May I kill Steven?
William
Sure… why not
Putin
Very good. I will have the KGB go after him
William and Putin hug, as William walks up the stairs he does the Nixon pose then goes on to the plane. Two Russian men carry to bags with Ahma and Stabby in them and a 3rd bag filled with Russian rum as the episode fades to black.