David O'Quinn

hi +4

Welcome back to another 'Bullshit news of the week', with your host, Roger Pennies! Our headlines for tonight are the following: The Calgary Wranglers are wondering where they're going to play, as a major thunderstorm and massive bout of hail has left their arena damaged and flooded. The Big Rona has continued, slowing down in some parts and heating up in others. But as we keep asking... Wuwho? The hardcore roleplay fantasy league, for some reason nicknamed the NHL, is expected to choose Vegas and Toronto as hub cities... we have to ask, why do they roleplay this hard? In other news: RIck and Morty coming back for another 60 episodes, but no one knows when. [Censored] continue across the country in protest of [Redacted], the [Expunged] has continued to approach the situation with [expunged]. Starbucks closing 200 locations in Canada, believed that Tim Hortons assassins are involved, threatening to [expunged] starbucks franchise owners. Playstation 5 revealed... it's a tall sauron mask. This has been Bullshit News of the week with your host, Roger 'dodger' Pennies

fifteen dolla fifteen dolla here! Transaction ID: 3C167199VP573083C 5tpe uncapped, 1 free week, 1 doubles week

yeah i also didnt see there was a deadline but idk if i get the tpe or not take my donation! Date: June 14, 2020 Transaction ID: 40B18222E7571535M

I know, I know! Gimme a chance. I know almost nothing about the history of the VHL, and I pretty much know nothing about anyone. Including HHH! So from an outsider with little knowledge, here's a quick analysis of the career of Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Beavis' player, based on my own findings. (His player page and my own fluff!) Created in the later half of the s64 season and picked up by Halifax, Hunter Hearst Helmsley impressed immediately. with 19 pts in 24 games, he would go on to be selected first overall in the following VHLM dispersal draft to the Yukon Rush. Suffice to say, he did NOT disappoint. Infact, he was an absolute monster. In S65, he put up a monsterous 486 shots, 57 of which would end up somewhere in the net. His total production that year added up to an amazing 125 pts. That year there was no doubt, Hunter Hearst Helmsley was the best. He won three awards, but most importantly he won the Mitch Higgins Trophy, as decided by the committee, cementing himself in as that years most valuable regular season VHLM player. He regrettably didn't go on to win the Founders cup, but that didn't stop him. Hunter Hearst Helmsley was promptly drafted first overall in the season 66 VHL Entry draft to the Riga Reign, who acquired the pick in a trade with Moscow. He was hot stuff and it seemed everyone wanted him. He got off to a relatively hot start, but he didn't seem to be blowing anyone out of the water. Maybe because of this, three seasons later he was sent to Vancouver in a trade involving superstar Rauno Paulo, and Vancouver's 1st in S69, ironically, the year Paulo would retire. It's hard to say who won that trade, neither player in the following years would lead their team to the cup. Hunter Hearst Helmsley has had what one may consider an underwhelming career - but certainly those in Vancouver thought so. Just this year, very recently infact, now-star Hunter Hearst Helmsley was traded to the HC Davos Dynamo in a chain of multiple trades between Davos and Vancouver. (me myself being involved in a previous one!) This may have been smart by Vancouver - he's been having an up year, or rather, he's had a great year, shooting his trade value up. Currently he is 7th OA in points in the league, 5th in goals, and he is also leading the league in total TPE and TPA. Take those with a grain of salt, but it is impressive nonetheless. As of now, he resides in Davos, with (From my perspective) a rather stacked team, surrounded by great wingers, a great #2 centerman, as it seems the team may be behind with its defensive core and goaltending, but it's forward skating core is simply great, and Hunter himself is certainly contributing to that. Davos is sitting in 5th, two points away from topping the second tier of the league, separated from the '1st' tier by 8 pts. So there it is - an analysis of Hunter Hearst Helmsley from an outsider's perspective.

1. Quiet! He's watching us... the gman... he's the one making us lose all these games... don't... say... ANYTHING`! 2. Ha ha loss machine go brrrrr 3. Food. 4. 50ish, I hope... but looks like another mediocre year for me 5. New york, they make elmebeck captain in memoriam 6. I have to place my bet on HHH... goalscoring is more consistent

1. A (much) better team seals the deal. What else need be said? 2. While my production as of yet us certainly passable, i'd hope it goes up. Though I wou ldnt be surprised if it dropped... 3. Yes, I was told we'd be a middling bubble team... thats what I got. 4. Ban O'Quinn. Then git gud. 5. Uh... um... uh... 'you.. suck. bud.' 6. O'Quinn will have donated by this point, but more importantly, to him, gave his kids a stern lecture about the on hand topic.

But Roger Pennies is my players official career reporter xD. I'll make a small edit.

r/agedlikemilk

Roger Pennies reporting, another clickbait article great article about O'Quinn incoming. During the S71 Offseason, Former New York defenseman, 12oa David O'Quinn was traded from the Vancouver Wolves to the HC Davos Dynamo, cementing himself in along with Davos rising star Roque Davis, himself drafted at 2oa just the season before. Previously, as he had headed into the S69 draft, O'Quinn had vocally expressed disinterest in being drafted to a team in the European conference, for fear of being thrown far away from both his family and his home and infact, before he joined the VHLM, he had not left Canada at all. But alas, as much as he had vocalized his wishes, his contract rights were no longer his own. He was owned by the New York Americans, then the Vancouver Wolves, in which both teams gave up on him. That eventually lead him to the small town of Davos, Switzerland, a snowy town deep in the alps(Note: just according to google. IDK if this is correct :D) , and he was deep in it. His family was split, his wife wanted him close to home, and the kids were excited to go to Switzerland. As the season has continued, David and his wife have struggled: She wants to keep the kids home in Cape Breton, for their betterment, and because she knows that's where David will finally retire.. and of course, because she loves every bit of it. David on the other hand, had no choice, besides retirement. He spends as much time as he can there - spending large sums of his earnings on flights to be able to spend his precious time with his kids, as they grow older and older. As for his own, personal experience - apart from his family - has been difficult. Switzerland has 3 primary languages - none of which he speaks. Obviously the team has translators, other english speaking members, and he'll pick up other various languages over time. But for now he's locked into speaking english to the locals, many of which simply may not appreciate him, and the foreign thoughts he brings. Not that he has any choice in the matter - and something tells him he won't be here for long. And yet... Europe offers incredible opportunity. Different ways of thinking, generations upon generations of history, of the land of the people who he can trace himself back to. From Ireland to the far Slavic countries, there is something special about this corner of the world. He hopes he will be able to pass on this valuable knowledge back to his friends at home, and more importantly, many a lesson he may be able to impart upon his kids, the two beautiful angles which he values most above anything else in this world. But that's neither here nor there, he is here to play hockey. and how's that going? Well, you can find the stats yourself, but in short O'Quinn is playing good, Davos is playing good, and he will strive for another chance at the coveted cup, as he has two years prior and will continue to do 5 following.

Welcome back to another week of Bullshit News, with your host Roger Pennies, arch-rival of Roger Millions. cunt. This week's headliners: Declassified UFO sightings released by US government! Is this a scam to get more funding for the Space Force™ [Censored] [Person of nondescript gender] murdered in [redacted], public is furious: and we're staying the fuck away from it. Our sanctioned scientists predict a second wave of the Big Rona, after people forget about the virus while other things are happening. In other, notably dismissable news: Developers of interactive movie teen drama Life Is Strange and other related games forming studio in Canada, but we have to ask... who over 20 cares? Spacex' historic launch backed by NASA, public asks: why are we spending money on space when earth is in shambles? US military continues to waste money on practice-drills. Public applauses them. VHL News: Davos, co-helmed by failure David O'Quinn, has had an okay start to the season. This is revolutionary. Vancouver star HHH is reaching the end of his career, but he seems to be going out with a bang. I'm not sure what this means though, ask John Lennon. (too soon?) Edit: made viable for tpe

1. I'm a hot minute from going down in vhl history as a failure so we damn well better 2. It's good so far. But last season, I started good as well, before falling to just over 0.5ppg. 3. While Helsinki is obvious, I personally think we should keep an eye on Moscow. 4. I like things the way they are - aside from the constant repetition. I like quick to answer questions, personally. Call me lazy. I dare you. 5. Well, I have a fancy 'ol VR headset, so that's my time passer. I'm doing okay - could be worse, I've learned alot about myself during th is shitshow. 6. Beketov. 'O'Quinn is a failure'.

1. No comment, newbie here! 2. No, I think shoring up with primers as you draft great players is the proper move. It'll lead to great things. 3. Well, you certainly can't go wrong with two new, VHL-ready young stars like these two. It'll only be two or three seasons before you have a new top line. 4. You have to listen to VHL podcasts when you're going to, and all through your sleep for the next week. 5. ... what are his.. talents? 6. Uh... uhhhhh... I don't know our curretn captain or assistant, but i'd say Acyd or the player with the next highest leadership.

Extra, extra! Vancouver bench warmer David O'Quinn has been traded for a bag of pucks! After promising to turn him into a 'star', the team made him wear a tiny little star on his head while being the official bench warmer! For the whole season, that poor [this line has been censored courtesy of our editors, thank us later]! We were going to tell you, 'The masses were asking 'what's next for the Canadian bench warmer?', but honestly, no one cares! The Canadian blueliner has been nothing but a wide-spread disappointment, picking up only 4 darn stinking points in the playoffs this year! What a shame, he seemed to have so much potential. At least, that's what my editor tells me. What, you think I watch this garbage sport? Grown men throwing hissy fits at eachother?! I'll have you know I frequent r/ihatesports ball, good sir or madam! and I am proud of it! (all satire, dont hurt me)

1. It's hard to say. One can always find blame in luck, but maybe sticking to the basics more would have helped. 2. Tee pee eee! 3. I'd like to see us go as far - or farther in the playoffs. Hell, the goal is the cup, but one has to temper their expectations. 5. I'd look to Stropko Jr. Good defensive stats, good offensive stats. 7. It seemed like defense and goaltending? But that could also be a lack of effective possesion. Im not really sure. 8. excusemoi?

Wow. That sounds homo homo sapien.

4/4

its trash. i know. but i treid :C

1. With the TDL now behind us, were there any trades that caught you by surprise this season? My own! I guess thats the easy answer, but I had felt given up on (moslty) in New York, through no fault of their own, this trade not only surprised me but reinvigorated 4. What on-ice skill is your player most known for? Most likely passing. Dating back to my VHLM days, O'Quinn has just been an assist machine... just the way I like it. 5. Freeman got promoted to AGM! How do you feel about him being selected? He's knowledgable, hard working, he cares... what else need I say? 6. What are your expectations for the remainder of the season and do you think we can hold on to a playoff spot? Well, we're in 1st place... so yeah. 7. Which do you prefer to make for your Point Task? Graphics, Media Spots, or Podcasts? I prefer being on someone elses podcast ? but for original works, Media spots do it for me. 8. If it was an option, would you be interested in creating Videos as a method to earn TPE? I would totally edit together videos for fun to get TPE if I had the time or opportunity. But that's quite a time consuming task, not sure it'd be worth just 6 tpe.

Some faithful day a year and 3 months ago, (yes i've been here that long), I was recruited to the league on one faithful night from the resident nerd, @Enorama (or atleast that's who got credit for recruiting me). To be fair, he took me from a rather obvious recruitment pool, an Eastside Hockey Manager league, which is a game built on a similar concept to the sim engine used by the VHL itself. I got into the league rather quickly, spurred on by the advent of being able to spread a *modified version of my grandfathers real hockey story, that which I was proud of. I didn't put too much work into it, and due to other things in life taking over, I went AWOL until the following September. But finally on the week ending the 15th of September, I truly joined the VHL, welcomed by one faithful since passed friend, Elmebeck. I was recruited into Saskatoon as that's where my previous, since retired player had gone, but this time I was sticking around. All it took was a friend, one guy to talk to every other day about anything, movies, hockey, the plans for the future of Saskatoon. His plans were pretty expansive, he wanted to change the name of the team once he took over control as the GM to the Saskatoon whitetails, he also wanted to write a theme-song (wanted my help too) based off of a classic Canadian hockey song. But that was the future - with the season drawing to a close, and Saskatoon stacked with a bunch of great picks, the future looked bright, and there's no question that all of that kept me playing and writing, week in and week out. You might think the story stops here, I've been recruited and I'm sticking around, right? Not so fast. In my opinion, based on my own experience with this league, my recruitment went on until I was traded to Vancouver and brought onto a podcast. But i'll get to that. In my VHLM Sophomore season, Peace and Elmebeck threw together an amazing team, having picked my player, David O'Quinn, at #1oa in the VHLM dispersal draft. It was an honor, and along with the big trades made, the promise of success and a great locker room kept me around, not to forget a continued friendship. Saskatoon shocked the hockey world and dominated the VHLM, going on a nearly season-long winstreak, capping it off with a convincing victory in the VHLM finals. What was there to look forward to now? Well, the VHL. The draft had passed at the same time as the VHLM dispersal draft: The New York Americans had showed interest in me, no doubt in part to Elmebeck(Jr.)'s presence on the team, and picked me during the eclipse of the first round at 12oa. It was an honor - and though predicted, still a little surprising. My recruitment almost failed at this point, well into my rookie VHL season and my growth was falling behind, my rate of TPE gain grinded to a halt and I was seen as a potential bust. Then - I got traded to Vancouver, and two guys who ran a podcast did me a really big solid by giving me 4 weeks of TPE off the back of a podcast I appeared on... and now I think i'm here for good. Having been given a chance by Beaviss, who himself said 'we'll make you a superstar yet', I finally feel like I belong here. I have friends, a history, a good team to play on and a future to look forward too. Its not enough to just invite someone to a league, they need to have a story form for them out of the goings on in the league. Part of that is up to the player - part of it us up to the league. What is hockey without a good story? 654 words, claiming for recruitment doubles theme week

1. Calgary, obviously. We have some former Wild here, and locationally we're rivals aswell. 2. I wouldn't be surprised to meet Toronto in the first round, if I understand the PO format correctly. 3. The top end. We have some spectacular players on the 1st pair and 1st line, im not sure about our depth but we aren't missing stars. 4. Nah, I think after that blockbuster the wolves are done besides maybe acquiring some picks? 5. It's gotta be triple H. He's physical, he's scoring, he's playmaking... triple H! 6. At home. After a hard-fought won or defeating loss... exiting the arena to the view of the mountains... nothing like it. (Speaking from IRL experience here too)

3/4

Right now, as Vancouver sits 3 pts out of 1st place in the VHL, with a diff that clearly separates the top 3 from Vancouver and those following, O'Quinn is relatively happy to be in Vancouver, especially considering how poorly the team he left - the New York Americans - is doing. On the individual scale, O'Quinn is having a rather decent season. He's not playing like a star - but no one expected him to. O'Quinn's stat line leaves him with 21 pts in 36 games, a modest 36 pims, 78 hits and 48 shots blocked. Though he's on pace for nowhere near as many blocked shots as he obtained in New York in his rookie year, O'Quinn has already eclipsed the point total he achieved in his rookie year with the Americans. Interestingly, O'Quinn also has more hits. Whether this has been encouragement from Vancouver coaching staff to play a more physical game - or just the evolution of O'Quinn as a player, is unknown. O'Quinn's production has majorly ramped up since he joined Vancouver, and hopefully this trend will continue, as well as his growth, which after some down weeks has been trending upwards. 193 words

1. We have had some big trades recently, how do you feel about them? Well, I'm glad the NYA trade brought me here, I love it so far. As for anything else - I try not to think about it too hard. 2. We have signed/re-signed the majority of the team long term, are you happy with our core? I love the locker room and think I have a good spot here in Vancouver. How can I not? 3. If there was a middle division between the VHL and VHLM (and the big league teams would be affiliated with the middle tier like NHL-AHL-CHL), what would you name the Vancouver Wolves farm team? The Cape Breton Condors... The Banff Bulls? Cabot Trail Campers. Montreal Mesos! Sydney Scallops. 5. Who would you consider to be the Wolves locker room Leader(s)? Spyro, Wang and Garsh have all been the guys I noticed most in the LR... But Spyro the most. Beaviss has been quite good too, ofc. 6. [For Players] What is your twig of choice (and the flex rating you prefer to use)? The trainers usually help me out, I like just about your average stick. Plenty of Flex. 8. What is your personal goal (for your player) by the time we reach the playoffs? It's probably a stretch, but 600, or even 650 TPE would be nice imo.