Grape

The VHLM playoffs are very much under way, with the first round ending as soon as tonight. My original predictions have pretty much all been proven wrong and discarded, as STHS decided to be unoriginal and copy paste every series. With that being said, it seems only right to provide a relatively in depth rationale for each series prediction, and give a new one, which STHS will undoubtedly try and prove wrong again. Philadelphia Reapers (1) vs Saskatoon Wild (8) Current Series: 3-2 Philadelphia Previous Series Prediction: Saskatoon wins in six Rationale: Philadelphia is by far the biggest fraud in the league. Their roster shares the make-up of the bottom teams in the league, and yet, they have finished first, pretty much entirely due to incredibly strong goaltending and overall synergy. Based on my statistics, Philadelphia’s forward core ranks 9th and their defensemen 10th. The only thing that makes this team look competent on paper is their goaltending, which ranks first. Their record is somewhat inflated as well due to playing in a weak division, although being a weak team themself, is not really a good explanation. Saskatoon is not much better by comparison, but are statistically a stronger team than Philadelphia, despite being sellers. Their forward and defense group rank 7th, while goaltending is at 8th, with a below average goalie in the pipes. So this series really came down to a battle between a team with not much of a goalie vs a team with only a goalie, and I believed that Saskatoon would have the edge. Historically, the team with the top goalie ends up fizzling away during the postseason, but as it stands now, Philadelphia controls their own fate, holding the series lead and could end it by tonight. These teams have kept things close, and I don’t doubt that that will continue going forward. I feel that Saskatoon will complete the upset, winning the next two straight and moving onto the next round. Prediction: Saskatoon wins in seven Las Vegas Aces (2) vs Ottawa Lynx (7) Current Series: 3-2 Las Vegas Series Prediction: Las Vegas wins in four Rationale: Nuclear bomb versus coughing baby. Las Vegas comes in as the best team statistically and strong contenders for the Cup. Their forward core is second only to Houston, and not by much. Same can be said about their defenseman, being but a step behind San Diego for first, but combined, is a group that tops both, as well as the rest of the league, and should be nigh unstoppable this postseason. Emphasis on should. Ottawa has been the most middle of the pack team statistically all season. Fifth ranked forwards, sixth ranked defensemen, fifth ranked overall, and 10th ranked goaltender. This team was carried early on by two players, who continued to play like absolute gamebusters, and while depth began to emerge late into the season, doubts were high that they’d be able to do anything. This looked like a series that Las Vegas would just roll through and kick back and watch every other series battle it out, yet Ottawa has forced this series to be competitive. The offense, which was somewhat cold for the first 3 games, has begun to heat up and make the Aces sweat. Even still, I don’t believe Ottawa will push Las Vegas to the brink. Good teams usually find a way to win, and Las Vegas will find a way. Prediction: Las Vegas in six Mexico City Kings (3) vs Miami Marauders (6) Current Series: 3-2 Miami Series Prediction: Miami wins in five Rationale: Mexico City is very much like Ottawa, being a relatively middling team. Their forwards rank sixth and defensemen fifth, overall ranking 6th. The thing that set this team apart was goaltending, having the 2nd best goalie in the league, which just goes to show how much goaltending plays a factor in a team’s success. A good goaltender makes you Mexico, a subpar one makes you Ottawa. Overall, the Kings are not really that strong of a team, and when compared to Miami, who statistically places with the top teams of the league, it should come as no surprise that I saw the Marauders beating Mexico City rather handedly. Miami has the 4th ranked forwards, defensemen, and goaltender. Now, fourth and sixth don’t necessarily sound too far apart on paper, but the difference between those two is absolutely massive. The rating system scales teams via overall (0-100, 100 being the highest). The Mexico City Kings have an overall of 42. Miami, on the other hand, has an overall of 88. That is a difference of 46 overall. At some point, Miami has to live up to their potential, and simply overpower the inferior team in Mexico City. I believe that will happen tonight, with Miami closing out the series and moving on. Prediction: Miami wins in six San Diego Marlins (4) vs Houston Bulls (5) Current Series: 3-2 Houston Series Prediction: Houston wins in six Rationale: As what typically occurs with the 4th vs 5th round, these teams are the closest in comparison to one another. Houston’s forwards are about 0.3 overall higher than San Diego, while San Diego’s defensemen are about 3 overall higher than Houston, with the teams overall ranking with Houston at 2nd and San Diego at 3rd. Houston does have a much better goaltender in San Diego, which helps separate the teams somewhat. The big difference I see in these teams comes from depth. Depth is something that is hard to necessarily rate, and while the statistics do take them into account, the value it provides is hard to necessarily determine. On one hand, it could explain how Philadelphia did so well, but on the other, they did well last season with basically no depth whatsoever, but this season it appears that depth reigns supreme, and that is why I believe that Houston will eventually triumph over San Diego. However, I believe that I discounted San Diego a tad too much in the original prediction. These teams truly are neck and neck in pretty much all categories. I believe that San Diego will push back against Houston and bring them to the brink, only for the Bulls to triumph over them and finish them off after a hard fought series. Prediction: Houston wins in seven (1054 words, 2 weeks of claiming)

Some things never change

Applying

tough, but fair.

sex mod?

Hit with the Not Unique tax

Thanks for noticing

Make comments and posts on reddit that don't directly promote the league but in a way where bringing it up is relevant

Oh my God, somebody actually got 3 tpe this season

This trivia question sucks

Claiming week 3 of 3

Because I missed a trivia question, I am forced to write another one of these cute little articles. This time around, I’m going to discuss money. When a player gets to a certain point in their career, they’re basically sitting on a mountain of cash, holding onto it until they can dump it all into regression stuff. On occasion you’ll see some TPE purchases, but the majority of the time, it’s going into making your player not suck as much in the later stages of their career. Now, what if there was another way to spend money? A change I actually like about the new NHL games is the ability to use your money to buy amenities and services, which provide varying boosts, both seasonal and career. Like, what if my player decides to blow their contract money on a private ice rink, and now I have a permanent 2 level boost on skating? It's something that the highhp-ups could really have fun with design-wise and give more of a reason to purchase things from the player shop during a career, rather than at the end of it.

Me Piffer Philly Sucks

Fish stop replying I haven't opened Discord all day and I thought this was a new trade

Guess you don't like playoffs smh

This fantasy zone has to be rigged everyone getting 1 tpe these days

Claiming week 2 of 3

Ottawa has strong underdog potential, and with your claiming, you'd definitely be logging some good minutes. Defense has been the weakest link on this team and with you as an addition we could very well be a top team. I feel like I've always had success maximizing the defensive potential of a roster. With an already good offense, I'd wager we'd be nigh unstoppable.

The VHL has expressed interest in organizing and setting up an all-star game and skills competition after the trade deadline, and have decided to put the rosters in the hands of the fans, allowing for each and every slot to be filled via a fan vote, with a minimum of one representative from each team, with nine skaters and two goalies per conference. With how widespread the VHL and their subsidiary leagues are around the globe, this fan vote brought in hundreds of thousands of votes, with nearly every single player receiving a vote, whether it be due to their on-ice production, personality, or complete lack of either that people would think it’d be funny to see them amongst superstars. Again, nearly every player received a vote. A rather awkward phone call conversation was had between Moscow defenseman Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage and the VHL commissioners. Apparently, Bocage did not receive even one single vote, out of the countless votes sent in, tying only former teammate Montgomery Burns, who was deemed ineligible for the event, having taken leave from the league to return to college, as his degree was revoked due to him plagiarizing one of his final papers. While Bocage was not necessarily expecting to receive many votes, he was utterly shocked to receive none. Bocage has released the following statement during a press conference: “I mean, I knew from the get go that I wasn’t gonna be going. I’m not the flashiest of players, I wasn’t really a top rookie last season nor am I putting up big numbers this season. I guess I don’t really have that big of a personality either that fans can really resonate with. I kinda just go out there and do my job. Even though I have the A, I’m not a vocal leader. I lead by example through reliable defensive play. Even still, I’d like to think I’d be at least one fan’s favorite player, but I guess people want to see someone who has what I don’t.” When OSCB first came into the league, there really was not much there in terms of jersey sales, being outshined by other rookies on the Menace. Coming into his Sophomore year, his jersey sales sit in the bottom 5% of the league, and likely won’t see much of a bump until he starts to produce at the level expected of him. Not even his parents wear his jersey when attending games, stating that, while Obuz is their son, they simply find his game kind of boring and like watching fellow blueliner Leif Reingaard more. Because the commissioners felt bad, they decided to give poor ole Obuz a little gift, in the form of a 1988 blue Ford Ranger, which broke down immediately upon arrival and was then sold for about $500, and a $50 IHOP gift card with $7.95 (the price of a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity combo with tax) already spent. When Bocage complained about the poor reward and stated that he’d rather not get anything at all, the commissioners simply wished him a good day and hung up the phone. (522 words)

Saw Warsaw and thought it was me for a sec, but I know Spartan loves me too much

No mention of the best defenseman on the team being on the shotblocking leaderboard? Guess I'm being sent to Warsaw smh

I mean they were 5th in goals for when I was writing this