gorlab

hit him in the head with a brick 

I just got emailed a New Member survey, and I let this shit fly there, too, but I wanted to air out VHL in the public eye as well. I'm from SHL. I have over 1000 tpe there. I am a boss on SHL. I know exactly what to do to get my player to be good. In VHL? I'm 3 weeks in and still haven't done shit with my player, or this community. 
 
Here's why your trash league is horrid compared to us:
 
 
1) There's no rookie/mentor committee. Like, are you serious? When I signed up and created a player, nobody took 2 seconds to ask me if I had any questions (other than my SHL friend who I put as my recruiter). I was thinking some type of welcoming director or SOMEBODY would like, PM a new member and make sure they know what to do, but there was absolutely nothing.
 
2) I wrote my player biography, because I somehow found out that's what you're supposed to do, and some needledick takes 7+ days to grade it, and then basically tells me I'm a piece of garbage and gives me half the TPE that other people get, despite me putting a lot of work into that fucker??
 
Who is this piece of shit to tell me my joint isn't good enough and doesn't deserve full marks?? Do you want activity in your league? You've got to be way less strict. This isn't some high school summer program, it's a fucking sim hockey league that people come here for fun, not to be told that their writing isn't good enough and given a D-. I don't even remember who graded my shit, but if he ever tried to tell me something like that IRL he'd be knocked clean out. Jardy come see me anywhere in Saskatoon if you want to catch a fade on his behalf.
 
3) The GUI of your site is clunky as fuck. I know you're trying to make it look sleek or whatever, but it's shit. The absolute pinnacle of the shitty GUI is this horrid fucking text entry box you need to use to make forum posts / pm someone. The formatting is HORRID. BB Code >>>>>>>>>>> Whatever this shit is. This is like some forumotion, horribly coded garbage. I was typing up a response to the 'New Member Survey' (which was sent to me like 3 weeks after I joined this fucker) AND THE FUCKING TEXT LITERALLY STARTED GOING OUT OF THE TEXTBOX ONTO THE WEBPAGE ITSELF. I damn near died of laughter, but this shit is GARBAGE.
 
4) I dont even know if this is true, but it seems like GRAPHICS are pretty much what you need to be good at, if you want to get points for your player. I don't do graphics, so fuck off with that. I don't want to do text, because I don't want some fedora-wearing piece of shit to passive aggressively "critique" my writing and find some bullshit excuse as to not deem it worth the full reward.
 
5) I was creating my player, and noticed all the other prospects had a (S40) tag on them, so I put an (S40) on mine, thinking "okay there is a bunch of S40's here, so there is probably a draft coming up soon.". Then, out of the blue like a week after I created a player, I'm magically on the Moscow Shitwolfs??? I posted in their LR and they were apparently in the playoffs or some shit and they needed a 4th liner so they scooped me up??  WHAT???
 
This is what you want your new members to experience? Playing a handful of 4-5 minute games on some random team, out of nowhere, without any type of heads up???  A draft experience is one of the major moments in a sim player's career, and whatever this shit system you have here, where my player can be signed as a FA to play 10 games for a random team before he's drafted to another team, is just straight up horrid. This is like an NHL player getting signed as a FA in the playoffs and then getting drafted ~2 weeks after the playoffs end by another team? The fuck?? Who thinks this shit up??
 
 
If anybody even tries to argue any of the shit I posted, I'm either going to find Jardy IRL and knock him out, or retire and go back to the SHL full-time. If you are from SHL and I offended you with this post, then sorry.

sign me up as GM for quebec mounties 

dacooter lamb

Note to Updater: I'm claiming one this week, and then the other for next week. I'm gone all week on vacation so I won't be able to post the graphic. Just wanted to make sure it's uploaded onto the forum before I leave. @Beketov@bigAL @Quikfor approval (if needed)

@N0HBDY

@osens

@Telkster

@Spartan our lord and saviour