HenrikZoiderberg

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HenrikZoiderberg last won the day on August 9

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About HenrikZoiderberg

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  1. My name is Zoiderberg, and I'm here to kick you in your noiderbergs.
  2. I've got an A now? edit: brother brother*
  3. Don't worry, MGS doesn't contact me directly or indirectly.
  4. Bananarama "The third line? The third FUCKING line?" Henrik's stick flew out of the dressing room door, crashing into a neatly-stacked pile of water bottles and nearly beheading the nearby waterboy. Zoiderberg was soon to follow, storming out, his skates still on, his elbowpads akimbo. "Come on Zoids, it's not that bad" Bana stepped out behind him, keeping pace as the Swede stormed down the hall. Zoiderberg spun on his heels, his skates carving the floor beneath him on point, "Not that bad? Bana you gave me twenty seconds of powerplay time in three games. Twenty seconds!" Bana smiled, "yeah but our penalty kill has never looked better. You're doing big things out there." Zoids spat on the wall, missing the bear logo by inches. His spittle sluggishly fell to gravity's embrace, much like his numbers in the first quarter of the season, "You told me to work on scoring, so I worked on shooting the puck. I worked at it all season. I'm a finisher, @Banackock, and you're pulling me from the place where I can score goals. I was nearly the best on the team last season, you saw that, and I've only gotten better." "You’re fighting Berocka and Kovalchuk for a winger job more or less. I’m going to see what each one can bring to the table." "I've been bringing goals to the table for two years! Is that not worth anything? Bana shrugged and returned to the locker room. Zoiderberg slammed a fist into the wall, "vi får se vem som måste bevisa sig, banan". 259 Words TPE for week ending November 24
  5. 97 HC Davos Dynamo @ Prague Phantoms 98 Toronto Legion @ Vancouver Wolves 99 Moscow Menace @ Calgary Wranglers 100 Riga Reign @ Helsinki Titans
  6. Hi Everyone, Henrik Zoiderberg here. Recently I've been told that some of my graphics are low-effort. That I need to do more than just slap some writing and a logo on some text and call it a signature. Like I'm not trying hard enough. That I haven't put in enough effort. But you know what's a lot of effort? Players not showing up to practice on time. Every year, literally hundreds of TPE are lost to players not showing up to their practice facilities on time. Did you know that over the course of fifty-two weeks, the average player in the VHL could earn up to fifty-two TPE just by throwing on their skates and clicking a little button? It's as easy as tying your skates, but not everybody seems to understand this epidemic of lost skill. This is why today I'm announcing: The Henrik Zoiderberg Foundation for Clicking the Practice Facility Button Together with grants from The Seattle Bears (Thanks to @Banackock), The Prague Phantoms (Thanks to @diamond_ace), and our VHLM affiliate the Mexico City Kings (Thanks to @Nykonax), each of you will be able to enjoy a new weekly reminder to press the Practice facility button for all of you disenfranchized Welfare monkeys. Together, we can come together to build a more competitive VHL, where each and every player is reaching their maximum potential every single week and making this the best league it may be. "But Zoiderberg," you may ask, "How will this be different from any individual team's reminder to get their practice facility TPE in?" Well voice in my head, there will be seven key differences that set this apart: Functionality. You can expect a Henrik Zoiderberg bug in your ear that helps you be the best player you can be. Understanding. I know how difficult it can be to hit that button, and will be with you every step of the way. Compassion. Having been a player for most of my playing career, I'm with you through this struggle. Kindness. Sometimes its difficult to get out of bed once a week and hit that practice button. I promise to show you empathy at these times. Youth. Having only been in the league for a couple of season, I've got the energy to inspire you to succeed. Optimism. I'll always have a positive outlook of you and think you're capable of whatever you set your heart to. Ungulates. My team of professional chefs will create a mammal-based protein solution for you, should it be required. In another life, in my youth, I was a professional delivery person for a fairly well-known intergalactic shipping company. I swear to you that I'm going to bring the same drive and determination to your door on a weekly basis, and make sure that you get every ounce of my prowess at your request. As a proud Swede, I swear to be top-three in performance at anything I do, as long as Canada and the USA aren't involved. In the interest of not padding my word count, I'm going to end it there for now, but you can expect more reminders to come from the whole crew at The Henrik Zoiderberg Foundation for Clicking the Practice Facility Button in the coming weeks. Stay frosty, skaterboys. 545 Words TPE for week ending November 24
  7. 49. Who do you think was the MVP of the VHL for S68? Ray Funkz, no question about it. He's been the best goalie in the league for ages. 50. What team or teams do you think surprised everyone the most? We did baby! Bears for life. 51. Were you happy with your season? I saw some steady improvement, but I want to keep getting better. 52. Who was the biggest surprise for the Seattle Bears? Beracoka! Who knew Australians could skate? 53. Who was Seattle's MVP for the season? Ray again! Can't argue with success. 54. Any thoughts on the final standings? Were the as expected? I thought we'd squeak in a bit higher, we should be better this season though.
  8. @DollarAndADream oh boy, time for a breakdown: On image: Text is dual-layered and includes tweaking of the stroke effect to make it stand out against a difficult background. Planet express logo was cut out and blurred onto the door for more of a background effect. Mild touch-ups to the edges of the photo to make Z pop a bit more on the image. I also included a 100 word blurb for like...quarter credit? towards the image not being quite as flashy as a few that have been put in in the past; but all of my sigs are generally just text on image with a logo, sometimes with a background thrown in. If that's not going to fly I'll need to take more photoshop lessons. If this isn't good enough, I'd ask time to be given a re-do for last week's TPE, since this criticism didn't arrive until the following Monday and I've had no time to fix it.
  9. 49 Prague Phantoms @ Moscow Menace 50 Calgary Wranglers @ Vancouver Wolves 51 Seattle Bears @ Helsinki Titans 52 HC Davos Dynamo @ Malmo Nighthawks