bigAL

I take kids who don’t make words good and make them make words gooder. 

Nope, those are the words we use here. I was trying to translate it into something that would be more familiar for you. 
 
You don’t have to, but it could be fun to Cup chase and be a part of something fun. This place is meant to be fun after all. 
 
Pretty sure this is what the NHL does eh?
 
Big deep breaths dude. We’ve been doing this for 80 seasons. Literally over a decade. We appreciate feedback, we do implement changes. We don’t appreciate someone coming in, poking around for 24 hours, and then telling us everything we’ve built here is stupid and wrong and needs to be done the way you think is right. No one is forcing you to be here. We want you to be here! But I hate to be the one to tell you, you’re not sim league Jesus sent here by Simon himself to save the VHL and make us pay for our business-of-sport sins. We have fun, it works for us, we’d love you to join us, but we’re going to keep doing us. 

he told me and I did not believe him. I had to come check for myself. Damn.
 
I still don't believe it - whaaaat? I thought for sure the lack of playoff success would sink Dood. He wasn't even ever MVP, and only an All-Star once? I won't argue, but damn those Bluelets really dazzled the voters eh? 
 
Big shout outs to @Enorama for making the brain-dead decision to draft me (seriously, my favourite theme week piece ever was the "alternate VHL reality" article titled "What if Eno had a brain...?"), @GRZ and @BarzalGoat for mentoring the young Dood (and then not being mad when I smashed Benny Graves' records)
 
With a first career like that, why would I ever recreate?!
 
Cheers everyone, ✌️ & ❤️ (even @JardyB10)

he told me and I did not believe him. I had to come check for myself. Damn.
 
I still don't believe it - whaaaat? I thought for sure the lack of playoff success would sink Dood. He wasn't even ever MVP, and only an All-Star once? I won't argue, but damn those Bluelets really dazzled the voters eh? 
 
Big shout outs to @Enorama for making the brain-dead decision to draft me (seriously, my favourite theme week piece ever was the "alternate VHL reality" article titled "What if Eno had a brain...?"), @GRZ and @BarzalGoat for mentoring the young Dood (and then not being mad when I smashed Benny Graves' records)
 
With a first career like that, why would I ever recreate?!
 
Cheers everyone, ✌️ & ❤️ (even @JardyB10)

I'm doing the math now to figure out how to get to exactly 374

he told me and I did not believe him. I had to come check for myself. Damn.
 
I still don't believe it - whaaaat? I thought for sure the lack of playoff success would sink Dood. He wasn't even ever MVP, and only an All-Star once? I won't argue, but damn those Bluelets really dazzled the voters eh? 
 
Big shout outs to @Enorama for making the brain-dead decision to draft me (seriously, my favourite theme week piece ever was the "alternate VHL reality" article titled "What if Eno had a brain...?"), @GRZ and @BarzalGoat for mentoring the young Dood (and then not being mad when I smashed Benny Graves' records)
 
With a first career like that, why would I ever recreate?!
 
Cheers everyone, ✌️ & ❤️ (even @JardyB10)

Groovy Dood - the answer to life, the universe, everything, and every most DC Dragons' trivia questions.
 
It's an honour to be a one-team guy for such a stand-up franchise 🔥 

he told me and I did not believe him. I had to come check for myself. Damn.
 
I still don't believe it - whaaaat? I thought for sure the lack of playoff success would sink Dood. He wasn't even ever MVP, and only an All-Star once? I won't argue, but damn those Bluelets really dazzled the voters eh? 
 
Big shout outs to @Enorama for making the brain-dead decision to draft me (seriously, my favourite theme week piece ever was the "alternate VHL reality" article titled "What if Eno had a brain...?"), @GRZ and @BarzalGoat for mentoring the young Dood (and then not being mad when I smashed Benny Graves' records)
 
With a first career like that, why would I ever recreate?!
 
Cheers everyone, ✌️ & ❤️ (even @JardyB10)

Groovy Dood - the answer to life, the universe, everything, and every most DC Dragons' trivia questions.
 
It's an honour to be a one-team guy for such a stand-up franchise 🔥 

he told me and I did not believe him. I had to come check for myself. Damn.
 
I still don't believe it - whaaaat? I thought for sure the lack of playoff success would sink Dood. He wasn't even ever MVP, and only an All-Star once? I won't argue, but damn those Bluelets really dazzled the voters eh? 
 
Big shout outs to @Enorama for making the brain-dead decision to draft me (seriously, my favourite theme week piece ever was the "alternate VHL reality" article titled "What if Eno had a brain...?"), @GRZ and @BarzalGoat for mentoring the young Dood (and then not being mad when I smashed Benny Graves' records)
 
With a first career like that, why would I ever recreate?!
 
Cheers everyone, ✌️ & ❤️ (even @JardyB10)

Groovy Dood - the answer to life, the universe, everything, and every most DC Dragons' trivia questions.
 
It's an honour to be a one-team guy for such a stand-up franchise 🔥 

Groovy Dood - the answer to life, the universe, everything, and every most DC Dragons' trivia questions.
 
It's an honour to be a one-team guy for such a stand-up franchise 🔥 

he told me and I did not believe him. I had to come check for myself. Damn.
 
I still don't believe it - whaaaat? I thought for sure the lack of playoff success would sink Dood. He wasn't even ever MVP, and only an All-Star once? I won't argue, but damn those Bluelets really dazzled the voters eh? 
 
Big shout outs to @Enorama for making the brain-dead decision to draft me (seriously, my favourite theme week piece ever was the "alternate VHL reality" article titled "What if Eno had a brain...?"), @GRZ and @BarzalGoat for mentoring the young Dood (and then not being mad when I smashed Benny Graves' records)
 
With a first career like that, why would I ever recreate?!
 
Cheers everyone, ✌️ & ❤️ (even @JardyB10)

Congratulations Everyone! Hell of a career for both players. Makes me sad @bigAL isn't around but hopefully he will see this one day.

You absolutely deserve it. I haven't interacted a ton with you personally, but I've only ever heard good things about you and from what I can tell, you were a staple member of this community back in the day. We are lucky to have you back, hope you're enjoying your time back in the league. Cheers, and congrats!
 
Also it's a shame @bigAL may never see this accomplishment if what they say is true. I'll be sure to tell Juice to let him know Groovy Dood is a HoF'er.
 
And finally, congrats Spart. I wish Kaberle could have done half the shit Letang did. Good work dude!

I dunno how I’ve missed it my whole life, but I’m reading Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury with my 11th graders now. It’s awesome. There’s so many threads to pull on, but we’re focusing on the question of happiness, technology, and the pace of life. It’s written in the 1950s and so scary accurately predicts our current world. “Are you actually happy”, and “does constant access to technology actually make you happier” are friggin big questions to ask yourself. 

Question: Whos fault was it really to lose the previous SBA affiliation?

What a Christmas season. I'm always amazed by the generosity of our community. Nicely done to everyone who donated, and thanks for the participation and attention from those that were unable to. The results from the charity drive are amazing.
 
The last loose end to tie up is the 12 Days of Christmas Raffle. Every day, you dutifully logged in, said hello, and got entered into the grand raffle.
 
As explained in the rules, we've got a lot of winners:
I used Google's Random Number Generator to pull a number of Josh's crazy spreadsheet that organized all the entries. You can view the streams here, here, and here if you don't believe me, but don't waste 15 mins of your life watching and listening to me fumbling around a spreadsheet.
 
So, here are the winners!
 
Tier 1:
You win:
 
Tier 2:
You win:
 
Tier 3:
You win:
 
Tier 4: THE GRAND CHAMPION
You win:
 
Thanks to everyone who participated. The 12 Days raffle is always my favourite because it's an "activity" check of sorts. We had 186 unique users participate in this bonanza. That's fantastic, what a big number. I'm proud of you, proud of us, and happy for all the winners.
 
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Good Riddance 2021, let's all have a great 2022 ✌️ 

What a Christmas season. I'm always amazed by the generosity of our community. Nicely done to everyone who donated, and thanks for the participation and attention from those that were unable to. The results from the charity drive are amazing.
 
The last loose end to tie up is the 12 Days of Christmas Raffle. Every day, you dutifully logged in, said hello, and got entered into the grand raffle.
 
As explained in the rules, we've got a lot of winners:
I used Google's Random Number Generator to pull a number of Josh's crazy spreadsheet that organized all the entries. You can view the streams here, here, and here if you don't believe me, but don't waste 15 mins of your life watching and listening to me fumbling around a spreadsheet.
 
So, here are the winners!
 
Tier 1:
You win:
 
Tier 2:
You win:
 
Tier 3:
You win:
 
Tier 4: THE GRAND CHAMPION
You win:
 
Thanks to everyone who participated. The 12 Days raffle is always my favourite because it's an "activity" check of sorts. We had 186 unique users participate in this bonanza. That's fantastic, what a big number. I'm proud of you, proud of us, and happy for all the winners.
 
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Good Riddance 2021, let's all have a great 2022 ✌️ 

What a Christmas season. I'm always amazed by the generosity of our community. Nicely done to everyone who donated, and thanks for the participation and attention from those that were unable to. The results from the charity drive are amazing.
 
The last loose end to tie up is the 12 Days of Christmas Raffle. Every day, you dutifully logged in, said hello, and got entered into the grand raffle.
 
As explained in the rules, we've got a lot of winners:
I used Google's Random Number Generator to pull a number of Josh's crazy spreadsheet that organized all the entries. You can view the streams here, here, and here if you don't believe me, but don't waste 15 mins of your life watching and listening to me fumbling around a spreadsheet.
 
So, here are the winners!
 
Tier 1:
You win:
 
Tier 2:
You win:
 
Tier 3:
You win:
 
Tier 4: THE GRAND CHAMPION
You win:
 
Thanks to everyone who participated. The 12 Days raffle is always my favourite because it's an "activity" check of sorts. We had 186 unique users participate in this bonanza. That's fantastic, what a big number. I'm proud of you, proud of us, and happy for all the winners.
 
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Good Riddance 2021, let's all have a great 2022 ✌️ 

It’s been two weeks now since it was reported that an unnamed Board Game had been taken into police custody after being caught in a toilet stall in a San Diego nightclub with “literally all the drugs”. While we did report that a Board Game was taken into police custody, it is believed the unnamed suspect had “not pleaded guilty” and was “generally uncooperative” throughout the case, leading those in charge of the investigation to pursue other leads, which subsequently lead to the arrests of six potential Board Games that were playing in the VHLM at the time of the incident including Trevor Kubiak, who had recently left the San Diego Marlins when they offered it rehab.
 
However, new evidence has come to light which pretty much confirms the identity of the suspect without a doubt, as a white sheet was found in the toilet stall that the suspected Board Game was found in, which can be seen below:
 

 
When asked why it took two weeks to find a sheet of that size at the suspected crime scene, the officer in charge, whose identity is being kept secret but they had a white powdery moustache stated: “Look, there were quite literally all the drugs in there, we’ve spent so much time…analyzing…them that it just slipped our mind, OK?!”
 
 

I'm not quite sure if this has ever been done before, there's always a first though so.
 
 
The @VHLE Commissioners wanted to thank @samxfor the work they've put into GMing the Geneva Rush in the E and helping migrate the team to the new league.
I'll speak for the @VHLM Commissioner s and thank @Minionfor all the work they've put in for the Halifax 21st. 
 
 
We wanted to congratulate @samx for becoming the new(old) GM of the Halifax 21st. 
At the same time we would like to congratulate @Minion for becoming the new GM of the Geneva Rush.
 
Both are great GMs and are valuable assets to the league. I'm glad we're not losing either one. So yes, we're switching GMs around between leagues. 

The season is over. Literally. Who even cares about the lotto tourney, just do a draft lotto and move on. Oh yeah, Calgary made the playoffs. But I feel like I have very few fucks given about that. Honestly, Klam ends up as a aight goalie and nothing more than that. At least I can say that's pretty much one me when I was ok with sitting whole ELC as the backup and not updating him much until recently. He's been kinda good in a defensive minded team, but he doesn't seem a savior for the most of part. But hey it would be cool to wreck Seattle out of contention.
 
Otherwise, I'm not happy. And you know what makes me more pissed off?
 
Matt Thunder in Riga - 60 points as the career best in Riga
Matt Thunder in Malmo - 58 in 46 games.
 
Justin Lose in Riga - being up and down with 82 points being the best result
Justlin Lose in Seattle - best goal and points scorer so that's two awards at least.
 
Of course they had no luck whatsoever in Riga and of course they're breaking out in other teams. And in theory that actually should make me happy. The former Riga players finally found the success they really needed. But nah, I'm having a hard time to not use some slurs when describing this sim engine. So apparently the roster Riga had during S77-80 wasn't good enough to be the powerhouse we really deserved? That wasn't good enough to have at least above mid tier scoring stats? Are you sure Simon wasn't smoking crack when making this shit that's called STHS??? OH WOW WE HAD ONE PASS FIRST DEFENSEMAN, LET'S SCREW RIGA THEN! Fucking useless failure of a people creation.
 
And this season...it was so trash I wasn't happy when simmers took a Christmas break. Cause I wanted this season to end as soon as possible. The only two things that kept me in it is DaMoose road to 100 and Reinhart trying to take the Clegane award. As you can see, DaMoose managed to reach exactly 100 point mark. However, Reinhart had a hard luck in last two games and of course Sales had to play some weak ass teams. So this was another thing that got me pissed off. Not only we couldn't score a damn thing outside of DaMoose, the chance of getting an award was taken away 2 games before the regular season ended. Another checkmark into the ''FUCK STHS'' list.
 
Really, there was nothing to cheer about outside of DaMoose and good performance by Riga E prospects. Speaking of which, all three of them are set to be called up next season. Biggie Cheese, Alexandre Leduc and Yun Chiang. All of them are running with rather a low passing build, though you could argue about the Chiang's 65 passing. That also means that I'm having a direct plans to make the roster as empty as possible to give them good playing time. I'm not sure if we are gonna be a true rebuilder though knowing Cabe's salary and my reluctance on selling Miklavz. But Riga does need a major roster shakeup and I don't think anyone can argue with that.
 
That's it and I'm out.

I’ve been covering the VHL for the last couple of months, but I finally realized something. Something is odd about every single player in the VHL, VHLE, and VHLM. I’ve seen hundreds of players be slammed into the ice at high velocity speeds and be crushed into the boards with immense force, but not once, not even one time, have I ever seen a player be injured in a VHL hockey game. Now, one may say that this is just due to luck, but I think not. The probability behind that is borderline impossible. In fact, there is a far better explanation for why no VHL player ever gets injured. That’s right, it’s not that every player in the VHL doesn’t get injured because they are extremely durable or that they are just extremely lucky, it’s that they are all robots! 
 
       People will call me a conspiracy theorist, a madman, a crazed maniac, but they are all wrong. In fact, I am the only one that understands the truth behind this robot-filled league. Tell me this, have you ever seen the insides of a VHL player? No, right? That’s no coincidence, it’s because they would never let you see inside of them. And do you know why? That’s right! It’s because all that is inside of them is mechanical parts and gears. “But Lemon Man, they can’t be robots because they don’t shoot lasers out of their eyes!” you all say. Now, I was almost fooled by this truth, and it is extremely convincing,  but then I realized it. The ice rink provides a perfect cooling effect for the robot body of these players, causing them to cool during practice and in games and thereby shutting down their laser systems. Through these simple facts, it is clear to me and should be clear to all of you, the VHL is full of robots, and I personally cannot stand by it.
 
       In order to solidify my argument, I had an interview with VHLM star Marshall Maxx and asked him a hard hitting question: “Are you a robot?” And in response he responded with a simple “No.” before walking away quickly, as if he was trying to hide something. Now, you may think that this is how a normal person would respond to this question, but I think not. No, this is what a robot would answer to this question in order to try to hide their identity as a robot! To be completely honest, I was not convinced of my theory before my interview with Marshall, but his answer solidified my argument completely and made it entirely clear that the VHL is full of robots. 
 
       It is fully clear that every single player in the VHL, VHLE, and VHLM is definitively a robot. We need to rise up as a community and get to the bottom of this mystery. Anyone that disagrees with this is also most likely a robot, in fact, maybe everyone is a robot. Maybe I am a robot. Beep boop.
 
Word Count: 505
Claiming for Week of 1/2

Heyyy I still have another claim left, awesome. 3/3.