fishy

New player, new sig! Thanks to @STZ for the collab on this.

ok whoa 

i don't know if you will ever be able to top this joke, this might be your peak 

Las Vegas Aces: Rip the playing card, not hard at all.
 
Malmo Nighthawks: Dumb fuckin bird won’t even be able to attack me one punch to it’s dumb fuckin bird nose and it’s down for the count. Get the barbeque ready for some nice roasted nighthawk breasts and wings. Yum!
 
Prague Phantoms/Philadelphia Reapers: @Josh, @JeffD, and @Jeffie43 can all attest to my absolute stellar ghost hunting skills. I have mastered the art of staying in the van while they did all the work and because this is a ghost hunt I’m allowed to call in my employees while I monitor the action on their gopros. Easiest fight in the world.
 
London United: The mascot for this dumpster team looks like it’s literally just London Bridge. Famously, London Bridge is falling down (falling down, falling down, my fair lady). If I simply bide my time eventually London Bridge will fall down and I will win the fight. Get owned.
 
Koln Express: Fighting a train is very easy. Simply walk 2 feet to the left off of the tracks and tf is it gonna do? Trolly problem it’s ass over to me? Shut the fuck up goofy I could derail the tracks if you give me a couple days
 
Halifax 21st: Another easy fight. What the fuck is it gonna do? Grow legs? Dumb boat gonna die of rust in like 30 years so I win simply by biding my time. Halifax Explosion (good name for a rebrand, think about it commies) 2.0 would definitely expedite my win (because I’d rather fight myself then ever go to Halifax ever so the explosion wouldn’t affect me)
 
San Diego Marlins: Dumb fuckin fish tf it gonna do? Bite my toes? Give me a fishing rod and like 3 weeks of time I’d catch this idiot eventually.
 
Davos Dynamo: This is pretty easy because people like to say that reaching the top of a mountain counts as defeating it. I think if you gave me a year or so dedicated to climbing mountains I could very easily conquer Davos.

New York Americans: Shit logo with no mascot, however, we can all assume the mascot is the average American. Based on these odds, I could very easily win. This would be a different story if I was fighting a Hamilton Canuck, because the average Canadian would be closer to a 50/50, but my pure agility would give me a competitive edge against an American. We are assuming this American does not own a gun because then they win.
 
Toronto Legion: Another dumb fucking bird. This bird looks even weaker than the nighthawk so we’ll be adding them to the barbeque so we can feed the New York American before I fight them (fattening it up).

Missisagua Hounds: What the dog doin? I one punch the dog and then get cancelled on twitter for animal abuse. Whoops.
 
Vasteras Iron Eagles: This is the bird that probably has the best chances of beating me because there's a giant mystery factor of what makes it iron instead of a normal eagle. If the entire thing is iron and it’s still able to fly then this mother fucker has gotta be super strong and could wing flap me to death. So easy to beat the shit out of birds normally though.
 
Houston Bulls: This a cow. The barbeque is getting a little full at this point, however we will throw on some steaks after we defeat them (very easily).

Moscow Menace: Angry santa looks like he’s already on death’s door. I could yank his ugly ass beard right off his face and stuff it down his throat. Take the crown for the rest of my fights so easy.
 
Vancouver Wolves: Honestly bro wolves kinda seem like they rely on pack hunting to fight. One on one, I think my chances are a lot better than what people would think. Couple pokes in the eyes and the tide will turn and I could choke it out on the ground.
 
Geneva Rush: Shit team that should still be in Yukon because theirs never been a fuckin gold rush in the south of Switzerland. Is the mascot a swiss banker? I could beat the absolute shit out of those scumbags.

Miami Marauders: I think I have the agility to outrun and waste the energy of a dumb fucking pirate. This scurvy havin ass better hope he catches me before the syphilis gets him looool
 
Bratislava Watchmen: Famous Slovakian lighthouse keepers, they are probably an old person that retired from the navy or some shit. The Slovakian navy is famous for not having a coastline and probably not existing. I could beat up some stolen valour looking ass old person.

Calgary Wranglers: Fighting the Wranglers really depends on which version of the Calgary logo I am fighting. If I’m able to take on the derp horse, I would very easily take it down in a duel. The current logo, steroid horse, becomes a different story. Being a famously tamed animal, there's a decent chance I could fight it but one good kick and I’m knocked out.

Helsinki Titans: Most people will probably doubt me when I say this but if the mascot has the same tendencies as their team they will underperform and I will be able to take them down due to my insane wits. That big helmet will weigh them down and allow me to win the fight.
 
Mexico City Kings: The draugr is a very common enemy in the dungeons of Skyrim. I have mastered the art of defeating them by stealthing with a bow and arrow before they wake up. I’m kinda worried if it has cold magic because I am not a nord so I don’t have resistance to cold. 

Rome Gladiators: Now THIS is a prize fighter that would give me a challenge! They’d put me in a net and then stab me with a trident that’d be so cool and I’m dead so fast.
 
Stockholm Vikings: A very large Swedish viking would kick the shit out of me probably while completely nude. It’d at least be a very enjoyable experience for me getting my ass kicked by a probably very attractive person.
 
Istanbul Grey Wolves: Yeah I think a Turkish Neo-Nazi could easily take me down. They’ve been studying the blade while I’ve been derailing trains and barbequing nighthawks.
 
Ottawa Lynx: Probably the weakest of the big cats, a lynx would still have an excellent chance at killing the absolute shit at me. Have you guys ever heard what a Lynx sounds like? They fucking scream like absolute banshees. This scream would bait me into thinking I was in a ghost hunt and then I’d be unprepared and it’d kill me while I hold my EMF detector.
 
Saskatoon Wild: Another big cat, however I think the mystery factor once again is a major player in my calculations. Is it a bobcat? Is it ALSO a lynx? A cougar perhaps? Who the fuck knows. That’s why it edges out the Ottawa Lynx.
 
Seattle Bears: This is a mother fucking bear. It looks like a grizzly and grizzlies are famous for being fucking crazy territorial. I am terrified and this bear would kill the shit out of me and not even care 
 
Warsaw Predators: Beating up an old ass catholic priest would be easy Nobody knows what the fuck this dumb fucking animal is but I think the original idea was a wild boar. This pig motherfucker would absolutely destroy me in a heartbeat and then eat my entire body, bones and teeth included. They would never find my body.
 
Riga Reign: This is a mother fucking lion. Thankfully the male lions do not participate in hunts but this dude would just casually knock me and then eat me. I have a slight chance if it’s a LAZY lion that’s lived their entire life in captivity.

Oslo Storm: Isn’t their logo literally Thor? I can beat up the Chris Hemsworth version but the Thor from the myths wouldn’t even look at me. Simple smite and I’m absolutely toasted. At least I’ll die a warrior and he’ll have to drink with me forever in Valhalla. Spending the rest of eternity with me, I think I’d eventually break him mentally. So he would win the fight, but I’d win the war.
 
Chicago Phoenix: This is a mythical bird that is famous for being fucking on fire. This mother fucker would kill me with a big ol’ hug, but I suspect it’d pick me up and drop me like how birds of prey hunt mammals. 
 
D.C. Dragons: Yeah no shot. Another mythical beast, this big ol dude is a fire breathing monster that would roast me in a second before I even get the chance to turn and run.

Los Angeles Stars: LOL yeah I can both not fight in space, and I don’t even have easy access to supermega nuclear bombs, which stars have go off on their surface like 1000 times a second. Not fair, I lose.
 

Thank you for watching my audio podcast.
 

I also remember my first date

Let me tell you tho
 
fishy REKT that car

i think it's how many times they were in the top 10 of a category in a season and where they were in the top 10. So like Davis finished Top 10 in defense scoring 4 times. Of those 4 times he finished 1st, 4th, 5th, and 5th.

Also think that the meta conversation is a bit odd, and I don't really follow why we'd be hesitant to induct Vancouver players when the team was fully within bounds. Saying that players whose success was tied to Vancouver's domination of the league aren't relevant or should be overlooked feels similar (to me at least) to saying that players during really low scoring eras shouldn't be in the HOF because there are significantly better players now

Given the majority of defencemen on the ballot, and spanning across a couple higher/lower scoring eras, I thought I'd do the old Top 10 breakdowns Advantage used to do:
 
Davis
Assists: 1st, 8th
Defencemen Scoring: 1st, 4th, 5th, 5th
Blocked Shots: None
 
Killinger
Assists: 6th, 10th
Defencemen Scoring: 3rd, 6th, 6th, 8th, 10th
Blocked Shots: 10th, 10th
 
Socks
Assists: 5th, 7th, 7th
Defencemen Scoring: 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 4th, 7th
Blocked Shots: 1st
 
Sandstrom
Assists: 1st, 2nd, 3rd
Defencemen Scoring: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 9th, 9th
Blocked Shots: 8th
 
Welch
Assists: 4th, 7th, 7th, 8th
Defencemen Scoring: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 6th
Blocked Shots: 5th
 
Nilsson
Assists: 2nd, 9th, 10th
Defencemen Scoring: 1st, 5th, 6th, 8th, 9th
Blocked Shots: 1st, 3rd, 5th

Lmao all love fishy!🤣

The discord comunity is so fun with lot of fun people they help you with problems and give you tips and I use it when I'm bored and than I text with fun people and it's just makes my day in 1 hour plus it's fun and relaxing and you going to make new friends and probably team mates to win the vhl playoffs and so more but I'm talking with my own experience and it's a experience that is 1 day but it feels like I know everyone for Years it's a wierd feeling but it's a good feeling so yeah if you got free time make a discord account if you all ready heff a discord account than join because why not and create a player than you can manage or you can role play as your own player like me I role ay As Bedirhan Paard it's not my real last name so don't stalk me and for that I forgot be nice tha tha tha tha tha thats all folks try to heff the louny toons sound on when you read that part

This is the best thread we've seen around these parts in years, I am all for it.

Roller Skating was interesting 

20220726_125430.mp4    

Everyone’s complimenting Cow’s hat but completely ignoring Dil’s. 😔

just dance away your frustration

Yeah ok, but if you got less hits, it would be more ideal for me.

Oh shit watch out on the roads, the collective mind of the VHL has it's learner permit.

7 goal sim for Henri that's what I'm talking about 

Just a whole month ago, y'all ignore me.

thx @fishy