Trunkxolotl

Claiming 1/3!

The Tater Tot Draft and Cooking Process

 

For this recipe you will need:

• 2 pounds of russet potatoes, peeled
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 Oddly named player with a face meant to stop pucks
• 1 set of hand me down goalie equipment
• 1 year of free time thanks to a plague
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 2 tablespoons of chopped fresh parsley leaves

 

Step 1: Gather your ingredients.

Before bursting onto the scene in the VHLM, Tater Tot's greatest claim to fame was of course his odd and obscure name. Born Tanner Tottingham, Double T as his mother called him only recently legally changed his name to the one currently sported on the back of his jersey after an odd encounter in a video game. Trapped within quarantine, like many teenagers his age Tanner turned towards the newly released Animal Crossing game to kill time until the most recent plague was over. It was in this game that one of his favorite villagers first suggested the nickname "Tater Tot". From the one villager, it quickly spread like a wild fire across the carefully crafted and gardened town, until the person formerly known as Tanner Tottingham was no more... and only Tater Tot remained. Fast forward a few months, since plagues have an awful habit of sticking around like in-laws after dinner, and Tater Tot was browsing  youtube, watching a video of one of his favorite hockey youtubers, when the topic of the VHL was brought up and suddenly it was like the oven light went on. Everything became so clear, as Tater Tot finally had a purpose. Digging out his old goalie equipment, he joined the league after completing a mandatory 14 day quarantine, and waiting for the offers from needing teams to pile in!

 

Step 2: Parboil potatoes, drain water and shred using box grater

And boy did they pour in! Well not really, upon arrival Tater Tot was greeted by an already over-saturated goalie market, but from the few offers he did receive the easiest choice was joining the Minnesota Storm organization, with the prospect of learning under a GM and AGM who both had played goalie themselves in the past. Tater had found the Obi-Wan and Anakin to his Ahsoka. Despite showing up midseason, Tater shone brightly early on, proving to be a brickwall in relief, and even in a few protected starts, proving to be the perfect back up for their starter, a fellow with an equally odd name, Hi Hello. However, with the team heading towards basement of the standings, Tater was approached by his GM's and handed an army hat and was informed Hello had been traded. He was their new starter and tank commander. Being the last line of defense, Tater held the fort the best he could, always trying his best to cheer up teammates after losses, or partying super hard after wins. Despite the team finishing 2nd last in the league, Tater managed a somewhat respectable .888 save percentage in a healthy 46 games. With the season over, Double T's eyes turned to the draft.

 

Step 3: Transfer to bowl, toss in flour and season to spice preference before forming the potatoes into tots

Being eligible for two drafts meant double the draft interviews, a nerve racking task that Tater seemed to relish in. If anything, he enjoyed the process, seeing the different ways GM's would conduct their interviews and the questions that seemed unique to them. It only seemed to continue the hype the young goalie felt as he started to near the first draft, increasing his drive and motivation to thrive within the league. Until finally it was draft day, and Tater Tot realized something he found out when he first joined the league. Holy heck there was a lot of goalies in this draft. Listening to the commentators talk about goalies slipping, and even hearing his name brought up in particular didn't help with draft day nerves, but as things reached the middle of the third round, and Tater saw Vancouver's pick he had a gut feeling it might finally be his time. Sure, it may of had to do with the fact the Wolves told him they had interested in drafting him, but that doesn't make as good as a story. Finally with the 42nd overall pick, Vancouver selected Tater Tot, and the young goalie let out a sight of relief. Until he remembered he had to do it again. The second time around was slightly easier on his nerves, especially after assurances from the Minnesota GM that they had every intention of trying to bring him back. The draft did start off with a bang however, as Tot got to witness draft day shenanigans live, as Houston traded for nearly half of the first round, though after that things his a lull. As the draft reached the 5th round, Tot's nerves were back on edge as he waited to find out who would select him- seeing the three picks his former team held in the round helped calm him slightly, but nothing released that tension like seeing his name drafted by Minnesota 53rd overall. With the draft spectacle and stress in the rear-view mirror, Tater knew it was time to put his pads on and get back to work. He had two teams now to show that he wasn't a waste of a pick.

 

Step 4: Preheat vegetable oil filled skillet

Coming out of the draft, Tater hit the gym hard and began working closely with his goalie coaches, making sure he improved in the right areas and never skipped leg day. He made sure to show up to training camp with an attitude that showed he was serious about his growth as a player, while also trying to take the time to get to know his new teammates, the closest being Henry Tucker, who coincidentally was also drafted by both Minnesota and Vancouver. The two are often seen pushing each other, each wanting to see the other succeed equally to reach their final goal of reaching the big leagues and playing for Vancouver- though Henry was on a lot faster track to reach that plateau. For Tater, the over-saturated goalie market once again would rear its ugly head, leaving the promising young goalie with an uphill battle. Instead of letting the others that may be above him worry Tater, he instead focused on bettering himself, and on his team where he has grown into not just a prominent part of the locker room, but seen as a leader as well when he was voted to be an Assistant Captain by his fellow teammates.

 

Step 5: Toss the tots into the skillet, cook until golden and crispy.

With training camp over, it was time to put the work he did in the off-season and training camp to the test, and Minnesota came out of the gate like a Mentos fueled coke bottle rocket towards the top of the league. Told he would be splitting time, Tater made it his first goal of the season to take back his starting position and seems to have accomplished as much- at the very least he seems to be given the tougher of starts against the top teams. Though Tater doesn't see the other member of the Minnesota tandem as competition, and instead encourages the other net-minder, trying to push each other and subsequently the team to new heights! At the time of this recipe/article Tater sports a 10-3-3 record with a .891 save percentage and 2.91 GAA, and most incredibly... two assists!

 

Step 6: Remove tots from oil, let cool and serve.

While the season is young, Tater Tot has quite a few goals set for himself- each more loft than the last. The two that most seem within reach is climbing over the .900 save percentage plateau, at least one shutout and getting his GAA below 2.50, while preparing himself and his team mentally for what will hopefully be a deep playoff run. While of course individual statistics and goals are important, mostly Tater Tot is hoping to help bring a championship to his team, and to Obi-Wan and Anakin, his GM and AGM who not only welcomed him into this league, but have helped him every step of the way. Looking past this season, the young goalie looks to continue his seemingly exponential climb in talent, and has set himself the lofty goal of at least hoping to challenge for the back up position in Vancouver in S77. Only time will tell where this delicious, well seasoned potato goalie will wind up in VHL history.

 

Notes: If you have leftovers, transfer cooled tater tots into an air tight container. Cover container in the ice shavings from players who think it's still mature to snow the opposing goalie. Lasts for up to one month. To reheat, preheat over to 400 degrees F and bake until heated through, about 15-17 minutes.

 

Review! This so far has been one of my favorite articles to read during my brief time on this site. But I can't help but notice, that while trashing on AGM's you also forget to mention your assistant captains as well. HOW CURIOUS! 10 TPE per year is a steep reward for such a role, though I suppose my one addendum would be if that if someone was to get that much TPE for being Captain- then clearly it should only be able to be applied to the Leadership stat. Since you're such a good leader being captain and all. Of course there would have to be punishments and/or fines to be a deterrent from players spending the TPE elsewhere. Otherwise, love the article, great comedic content with some slices of half truths! 9.5/10

Review Time! The monochrome style of the picture is aesthetically pleasing at least personally, and I do also appreciate the cell-shading style you went with. Gives it that printed comic book look, pumping up the player to a super hero type level! My only pieces of criticism is the name. The white on white makes it hard to read, and the dropshadow for the picture on the whole isn't visible for those of us who use the Dark Theme. Overall, a solid 8/10 because I really do appreciate the art-style you went with. And the crown is a nice touch considering the name!

Claiming!

8 hours ago, Mr_Hatter said:

Hey party people, you know the drill 

1/24-1/31

Answer 6 questions to claim 2 TPE

 

1) Who has the best dance moves on the squad?

2) What is your favorite post-workout snack? 
3) How do you feel about our performances so far? 

4) Do you think our team will improve going forward or keep at this current pace? 
5) Congratulations to our captains for the season! What would you like to say to them, or if you are one, what would you like to tell the team?

6) What team are you backing in the VHL this season? 

1. Best dancer? Based on his smooth skating I'd probably have to say Grapes. Dude has some mad footwork.

2. The tears of opposing shooters. Just kidding. Mostly. Healthy Green Slush drink. Pictured here.

3. Top of our division, and just behind the Houston powerhouse over all. Can't complain at all. Offense if definitely firing on all cylinders, but hoping we start letting less shots on net!

4. Aside from opposing shot totals, I'm not sure how much more we can improve. Keeping at the current pace seems incredibly realistic though!

5. I'm still kind of shocked I was picked! It was the name, wasn't it? Either way, I'mma hold down the fort on the backend, lead by example and block pucks with my face. And other body parts. And don't be afraid to take a chance and make mistakes. Carter and I will bail you out! Ferda.

6. 50% Toronto because that's my home town team. 50% Vancouver, because not only a Canadian team, they drafted me! Plus who doesn't love back to backs?

My first attempt at a graphic on here, still very much not used to gimp, but getting there. Lets just. Not talk about the mask, okay?

Review time! First and foremost, I wanted to say thank you! This is so incredibly informative, highlighting so many things that someone new to the site (aka me) was completely unaware of. Not only is the abundance of information useful, it is also well organized and spaced well enough to read. Each section clearly outlines what is needed to be done, and how to claim it. Honestly, this is about to become my TPE bible. Thank you! 10/10

Review time! As someone with an affinity for playing Paladins and those that are similar, the concept for this is amazing! The name and colours suit it very well, and the logo is damn near perfect. At first I had thought the cape wasn't needed but looking at it for a longer period of time I think it's actually a good use of the white/dead space. The only thing that looks slightly off, but that could just be the way it looks attached is the chainmail on the sides of the helmet. The shield crests on the shoulders of the jersey are a nice touch as well. Overall 9.5/10 ! Seriously talented!

10 minutes ago, Mr_Hatter said:

1/17 - 1/24

Answer 6 questions to claim 2 TPE

1) Welcome to the team new and returning players alike! How have your last couple of weeks treated you?

2) What are your personal goals for this season?
3) What are your team goals for this season?

4) How can Rayz and I best help you achieve those goals?

5) What team do you think will be our biggest rival this season?

6) What is your favorite comfort food? 

7) What recent trend do you just not understand?

 

1. Not that great to be honest, but that means it can only get better.... I hope.

2. To grab the starting goalie position, and hopefully finish the season in a place where I've moved up my VHL team's depth chart.

3. I'd love to make the playoffs!

4. Y'all are both so helpful already. So just keep up with being yourselves!

5. Houston. Those draft shenanigans were nuts.

6. Garden Salsa Sunchips.

7. The yee yee ass haircut meme. I just.... No.

On 12/21/2020 at 4:42 PM, Telkster said:

Questions for the week ending the 27th! Thank you all for welcoming me into the team!

1. What’s your favourite “Christmas baking” snack for this time of year?

2. How messed up is your Christmas plans because of the rona on a scale of 1-10? 1 being they are totally messed up, to 10 being no effect.

3. How many vhlm teams have you been on  (Including past players)? 
4. Most memorable player in the vhl/vhlm for you (other then your own player)

5. What is your favourite stat to upgrade on your player?

6. Do you prefer or despise white christmases? (Personally I do snow removal as one of my jobs so you can guess what my answer is.)

1. Well I made a whole bunch of sugar cookies and shortbread this year so my answer is never baking again.

2. A strong 1. It essentially isn't happening.

3. Just this one!

4. Hi Hello. He is now my rival... even if he doesnt know it.

5. Rebound Control. I can hear Ray Feraro in my head talking about the defense being helped out by the puck being in the corner.

6. I prefer it. It's supposed to rain this year, and thats a big meh.

On 12/13/2020 at 4:35 PM, Mr_Hatter said:

12/13 - 12/20

 

Answer 6 questions to claim 2 TPE

 

1) What are your thoughts on other sports? Favorite outside of hockey?
2) Do you play any musical instruments?

3) What is the best thing you know how to cook?

4) How would you describe your play style?

5) How would you try to sell yourself to a VHL team?

6) Which team are you hoping will win, if we aren't able to?

7) Have any fun holiday plans?

1. To watch, probably lacrosse. To play, basketball and baseball.

2. I can toot on an Alto Sax half decently.

3. It sounds plain, but I can make a really good from scratch French Onion Soup.

4. Throwing my face at pucks with reckless abandon to stop them.

5. This past week my team has been calling me our MVP. Not sure if that is a selling point or not, but but hearing it cooked this Tot's insides.

6. I want to say Mississauga because its near (relatively) where I live, but they are who we are chasing, so I'm going to have to go with a different Canadian team... Saskatoon!

7. Social Distancing the plague away.

On 12/1/2020 at 10:57 PM, Mr_Hatter said:

11/29-12/6

 

Answer 6 questions to claim 2 tpe

 

1) What is your favorite way to pass time on the team bus?

2) Predict what place we'll finish the season in.

3) What VHL team do you want to be drafted by?

4) Tell me why your position is the best. 

5) Tell me why your position is the worst.

6) What do you think about your build?

7) If we were to be relocated, where would you want to go?

1. Playing on the Nintendo Switch. Or sleeping.

2. Third last. We shall improve!

3. Toronto. Everyone wants to play for their home town!

4. Flashy glove saves, obviously.

5. Always on the wrong end of highlight reel goals.

6. I've been getting a lot of help with it, so I hope its progressing well. (Hasn't been doing well yet though.)

7. Letterkenny. Preferably the fictional town. But I'd take the actual Irish town as well.

Murry Chrysler

On 11/25/2020 at 2:30 AM, Mr_Hatter said:

11/22 - 11/29

 

Answer 6 questions to claim 2TPE

 

1) Predict the winner of the next Stanley Cup

2) What team is your most hated in all of sports?

3) What team makes you just think: "meh"?

4) How long have you been a member of the VHL?

5) Where did you hear about it?

6) Do you think our capped vs uncapped TPE system is balanced right now?

7) Are you/have you ever considered joining one of our affiliate sim leagues, the SBA or EFL?

Do you have any Thanksgiving plans?

1. My heart wants to say the Leafs, but some itching part of me thinks Rangers.

2. Bruins. Duh.

3. The Wild. They're just... boring.

4. Just under a month.

5. From one of Thrasher's youtube videos!

6. I'm still not sure I understand it well enough just yet to weigh in, but so far it seems alright.

7. I wasn't aware we had affiliate leagues. I'll take a peak!

8. I'm Canadian, so my Thanksgiving was in October

 

On 11/19/2020 at 3:00 PM, Mr_Hatter said:

11/15 - 11/22

 

Answer 6 questions to claim 2TPE

 

1. Well the first two days of sims are in; 3-1. Good work! How do you feel about your performances so far? 

2. Do you think this is more of what’s to come?

3. Who are you most worried about going forward for opponents?

4. What is your go to move on the penalty shot?

5. Do you prefer writing articles, making graphics, or doing podcasts?

6. What about the VHL annoys you the most?

7. Best fruit, go.

1. I am the second coming of Patrick Roy... when in relief.

2. ....Hopefully, but probablly not, I think I've gotten pretty lucky so far.

3. Reapers seem like they are destroying almost everything they come in contact with.

4. Making the save.

5. Haven't tried either yet, but probably writing articles.

6. Without help, it's hard to find TPE sources. Thankfully I've had help though!

7. Grapes are the perfect snacking fruit.

On 11/10/2020 at 7:48 PM, Mr_Hatter said:

11/8-11/15

 

Answer 6 questions to claim 2TPE

 

1. Welcome to Minnesota! Is there anything you’d like to know about the team’s history? 

2. What is your biggest goal for this upcoming season?

3. What is your favorite hairstyle? 

4. Give me your top 3 ice cream flavors.

5. Offseason training: what is your favorite workout?

6. Tell me; what do you think of the new VHLM Juniors system announced recently? (https://vhlforum.com/topic/94944-s75-vhlm-rule-changes/)

7. What NHL team (if any) do you support?

1. Is the team known for anything?

2. Improve my player, and familiarize myself with the site and mechanics.

3. Mullet. Duh.

4. Tiger Tail, Butter Rum, Kwartha Dairy's Blue Buried Treasure

5. Arm Curls

6. Seems helpful for large groups of players.

7. .....Leafs.

35 minutes ago, Mr_Hatter said:

 

Hey there @Trunkxolotl welcome again! I saw you recreated, let me know if you need anyhelp getting started. My name is Hatter (as I said on your last player), AGM for the Minnesota Storm. We are looking to build a solid roster for the upcoming season, and have a spot open for a backup goalie. You would split starts, and depending on your earning rate, you could challenge for more. 

 

Both @Rayzor_7, our GM, and I have created goalies ourselves, and are intimately familiar with the process; Rayz's player just retired and will be a first ballot Hall of Famer, and I just won the top goalie award for the second time. Any questions you might have, we can answer! 

 

Regardless, I hope you enjoy your stay here in the VHL. Its a great place, if I do say so myself 

Thanks for the welcome, and yeah I decided I wanted to try goalie instead. Wasn't sure if there is a way to delete the prior thread. The concept of everything here seems really neat.

That being said, you both sound like a great pair to learn from as I navigate this place. I'd lover to join your team! (Not sure how to, but I'd like to lol)

 

Player Information

Username: Trunkxolotl

Player Name: Tater Tot

Recruited From: YouTube

Age: 18

Position: G

Height: 75 in.

Weight: 195 lbs.

Birthplace: Canada

Player Page

@VHLM GM

Player Information

Username: Trunkxolotl

Player Name: Shane Williams

Recruited From: YouTube

Age: 33

Position: RW

Height: 69 in.

Weight: 180 lbs.

Birthplace: Canada

Player Page

@VHLM GM