Thunder

After three successful seasons with Shindigs, @Shindigs, in control of the Las Vegas Aces, star defenseman Juan Ceson, @dylanjj37is having to train his new GM, Blazzer. @BlazzerShindigs’ artful manipulation of keeping Juan Ceson involved in all aspects of the Aces day to day operations proved to be the reason for the Aces winning the cup two of the three seasons. Shindigs leaves the team knowing Blazzer is up for the challenge and has all the confidence in the world in Blazzer, but don’t expect Juan Ceson to cooperate without some unusual demands from Blazzer. One might think what else could Ceson need, considering Ceson already has the training facility, merchandise store, arena, transit line, and even a local strip club named after him. In addition to the Juan Ceson jet, Juan Ceson mansion, Juan Ceson petting zoo, its possible that Juan Ceson may ask for another super yacht. The original Juan Ceson yacht has been missing since season 83, when the retired zamboni driver took control of the yacht and it was last seen leaving the Mediterranean Sea on its way to the Atlantic Ocean towards Norway. Until we hear the final demands of Juan Ceson, all we can do is wish Blazzer good luck. Be patient as Ceson’s loyalty is more important to a team than anything else. 221 words

Claim week 2/2

Fuck yeah I like the 20 minute podcast!! More opportunity for you to say some good shit!! Plus there’s always that chance for you to go off on an idiot driver, which i havent heard in a while. Not even from @Spartan . I think spartan is driving like an old lady these days. Always enjoy your podcasts. They’re poopy…

Sounds like jardyb10 has a topic for his next podcast. Maybe can get berocka to do it with you and baby berocka join you. Cuz it sure as hell wont be me. Im a puss when it comes to podcasting.

I think baby berocka wanted daddy berocka to run instead of walk.

Pleease scurvy. You jack booted thug. Drop the gloves this season!! Congrats.

Power back on last night so i could get on internet this morning. Jardy you are missing out if you haven’t had fluff a nutter. Its peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich. All protein, healthy, and good for you!!!

It’s time to get ready for the next season in the VHLM and GM Cole, @badcolethetitan has set the Mexico City Kings up for another run for the cup. Coming off a successful season, Cole recognized early on that the team needed some new studs to be competitive after losing some serious talent. Cole immediately searched for a goalie and found Ross Glagau, @Zetterberg, to step up for the challenge. Defensively, Quinn Saint-Willes, @Squids McKenzie, is expected to hold down the fort again this season and hopefully some added talent will give Quinn some support. Offensively, the Kings look to lead the league in points as captain nugget, @Captain nugget, and Alexander Stroheim, @Stroheim, are coming back seasoned and hungry for a cup. In addition to the above mentioned scorers, George Castanza, @fonziGG, joined Kings mid season and immediately had an impact. With rookies coming in to help with the offense, GM Cole can sit back and enjoy his accomplishments; however, dont expect GM Cole to just sit back and do nothing. GM Cole resonates hard work and determination. Cole is looking two, maybe three steps ahead of other GM’s and is calculating how to keep his Mexico City Kings on top and competitive. We all look forward to what he has next for the Kings. 217 words

Donation $15.00. Transaction ID: 4WG7684796395894F $1 Million cash Doubles Week 5 uncapped TPE

Welcome to the next edition of Thunder’s wordcast for the impaired podcaster. I think this is episode #11, and if not, close enough. For you first time readers/would be listeners, if I had the balls to podcast instead of wordcast, this is my version of a podcast, so sit back with your cup of coffee and read away. Today’s edition is a little unique because I have been of the grid since Friday and can’t use anything of recent notability to give me some ideas to write about. Being off the grid also prevents me from even knowing if my favorite podcasters, @JardyB10 and @Spartan have any new material for me to enjoy. And I won’t know until after I am finished with this wordcast because it looks like the power will not be coming back on for a while, which I will get into later. Other news to bring up is an old discussion about the pro am, and of course it wouldn’t be a Thunder wordcast without talking smack about Brian Payne, @Scurvy. Here we go… Taking me out of the 21st century back into the rustic days started Friday evening. Before I say anything though, you have to understand, this is coming from a spoiled person used to the comforts of the home. Anyway, it was pissing down rain all day and the temperature wasn’t too bad but the wet chill just added to the need for comfort from inside the house. The pellet stove was putting out heat to keep the house around 70 and the wife had left town for the night to spend the next day Christmas shopping with the in-laws, a tradition which I have always enjoyed for her to do. It left me home alone with the dog. Pizza was on the menu for the two of us. And we woofed that down comfortably while watching some WHL hockey. Portland was playing Seattle, two teams I cannot stand but it was on TV, so I was watching it. I decided to cut the evening short and go to bed to read and fall asleep, already looking forward to getting up early for a good work out. I was barely asleep when the first loud bang hit the house and scared the shit out of the dog. I could hear the wind blowing pretty good as well as the rain pelting the roof, but the added noise of something hitting the house caused a little bit of “ahh shit.” And then the ceiling fan went out, back on and then out again. I knew it was going to be a good one because the house was attacked in succession with limbs from the neighbors trees crashing down making some horrific noise. @Scurvy would be able to tell you that I am useless without my contacts in. I saw no need to put them in just to go outside and weather the storm to say, “Yup, tree limbs came down on the house.” Instead I closed my eyes and fell to sleep. I woke up disappointed because usually the power is out for no more than 4-6 hours. Without power still, I figured it was going to be a few more hours anyway, but I decided to get my fat ass up and check the damage. The back yard was a war zone with limbs and branches all over, and the roof had been pelted but it didn’t appear to have sustained any damage. The front yard wasn’t quite as bad. Regardless, I grabbed the chain saw and went to work. After about 2 hours I had the limbs bucked into workable pieces and most of the branches picked up, at least the bigger ones. The yard waste barrel was full and I had a pile to fill it for the next 3 or 4 weeks. With no power, it meant no furnace, no pellet stove, and no TV. Futch!! The house was crisp so I got a fire going in the wood stove and then grabbed the ipad to get on discord and check things out. Oh shit, no internet. No internet meant no discord. No TV meant no football or hockey. No electricity meant one bored dipshit. The wind was still gusting but the rain had stopped for a bit, so I grabbed the dog and walked the neighborhood assessing the damage. It still hadn’t registered how bad things were. I talked to a neighbor who said traffic was dicked up and there were no street lights functioning. Oh great, so much for doing much that day. Sometime in the afternoon I decided to try to find out how serious the storm was and managed to get a short story on my phone saying that there were trees that fell on homes and such. Guess we were lucky. The wife text that her friend was trapped at the house because the power line was across the driveway and a tree on the ground. It looked like over 100,000 in the county were without power, which told me its gonna be another day before we get power. The wife stayed at the in-laws because they had power. I had fluff a nutter sandwiches for lunch and supper. My kindle was charged so I hit the rack early and read. No hockey, no football, no VHL. Life sucked! Nothing changed with the power on Sunday. The wood stove kept me warm and that was about it. I picked up some more branches and when the wife came home she brought some Carls Jr, and an attitude that said she didn’t appreciate not having power in the house. Well what the hell am I supposed to do! I kept the fire stoked in the wood stove because I knew she’d want the heat. She put a kettle of water on the stove to warm up so she could wash her hair before bed, and wanted to do grilled cheese on the wood stove. At last check Sunday night there were still 80,000 without power. That leads me to Monday. This has never been as long without power. Shit, we live in a city. Small, but its still a city. The thing is on the map all around us shows they got power. The businesses are back up and running and areas around are back to normal. Not us! I step outside to the sounds of generators from all directions. By now, the cell phone is on red begging for more juice. I havent trolled on discord in 3 days, I have no idea what happened in my fantasy football league, and I don’t even know how the Bruins did. I decided to take the dog and go for a ride to charge the phone. I managed to check the latest tally and there were over 30,000 still with no power. I reached out to @scurvy, to see if he’s out of power but got nothing back. I take that back. He’s got power so that’s good. My brother filled me in on the Bruins match he watched where they were down by 5 and came back to win. What a game to miss watching. Oh well. I heard on the news that they expect all power to be restored by tonight at 8:00 PM. Its almost 4 PM and we still dont have it. And while I was driving I saw some of the damage and it is safe to say that there is absolutely no way the power will be restored by tonight. The lines are down all over the place and trees are still on the lines. I’m not sure when they will be done fixing this mess. And it just dawned on me, internet won’t be available until well after the electricity is fixed. Oh shit, it could be a week before I read anything about the VHL or find out if jardyb10 or Spartan produced a podcast, let alone the pro am results. Until then, I’ll just have to be patient. That leads to the pro am. Brian Payne is lighting it up for Team 1. He’s dominating in goals, assists, penalty minutes, and is even fighting, although he still can’t win a fight. On the other end of the spectrum, there is Jake Thunder, who is mediocre at best. Slapping in an occasional goal, getting an assist once in a while, and barely holding his own on the hits and blocked shots. Payne is definitely outshining Thunder in the pro am. And judging from the trend, I dont anticipate any changes over the 4 days I will have missed because of this power outage. Enjoy it while it lasts Payne because when the season starts and Davos meets up with Warsaw, its back to kicking your ass! 1461 words

1: What is the best color for a Hockey Jersey? Definitely midnight blue. 2: Where would you like to go for vacation? Panama Canal 3: Which NHL player does your VHL play like? Radko Gudas 4: If you were to recommend one Show, Movie or Youtube channel to someone, which would you choose? La Reina del Sur 5: Who is your favorite cartoon or animated character? Atom Ant 6: Are you able to do any voice impressions? If so, which ones? I can mimic my wife pretty good but it gets me in trouble 7: Which NHL team makes a big trade next? St Louis Blues 8: Who is your favorite actor right now? Rodney Dangerfield

Press Conference Week ending 11/13/2022 (Answer Questions for 2 Capped TPE! 1. Its hockey time in the VHLM, are you ready for the season and what do you hope from your player? 2. How many times have you watched the movie “Goon”? Our player Ross Glagau has transitioned to goalie. Can we expect the same intensity from Ross tending the net? 3. Looking at our roster, Captain Nugget and Quinn Saint-Willes are two veterans who GM Cole will be relying upon. Any advice to these to seasoned players to help lift Mexico City into a championship? 4. What VHLM team do you consider to be our nemesis? 5. What was your favorite class in school and why? 6. Does Mexico City have the best tacos? If not, where have you had better tacos?

Graphic Review I’m doing this review to make up for my incorrect trivia answer. And… I’m actually glad that I have to do it because otherwise I would have never seen this graphic. Starting with the player, I’m very impressed with the colors you chose and the frost look along with the rays highlighting the player. The size fits the graphic space perfectly. Regarding the signature, I like the font style and size as well as the color. The boldness makes the name stand out. Now to my favorite part of the graphic, the video. You captured the essence of the graphic with this video in a way that makes this one of the best graphics of all time. The video playing inside the Las Vegas circle adds more to the graphic. You must be a professional graphic artist or something. Impressed! Score 10/10

Hockey fans, get ready for a break out season for one left winger on the HC Davos. This guy is ready to light up the net. The tall lanky winger is dedicated to his team and contributing any way he can. Pete Mitchell, @Crstats23, dominated the VHLM with 93 points, pretty much evenly matched in goals and assists for the Las Vegas Aces. He then jumped into the VHLE and played one season with the Oslo Storm, once again showing the talent scoring goals and handing off the puck for his teammates to put it in the net. Drafted in the first round at #11, Pete Mitchell joined Davos with a promise to succeed and bring the team into the spotlight for a trophy. For two seasons on Davos, Mitchell played a back seat role giving other forwards the opportunity to shine. When it came time for the playoffs, Mitchell went off the rails and showed how he can dominate the ice. And now with the new season, Mitchell will surely step on the ice with a chip on his shoulder. Look for him to lead the team this season with points, especially if GM Alex is able to tweak the lineup to give Mitchell the best opportunity to show the fans exactly why he was a first round pick. Let’s go Davos! 225 words

Its time for the next episode of Thunder’s wordcast for the impaired podcaster. Welcome to episode #10. For you first time readers this is my way of doing a podcast because I still don’t have the stones to do an actual podcast. So in podcast style, here is the next wordcast. The discussion today will include HC Davos chances for the season coming up, a little bitching about the trivia question I got wrong, and of course it wouldn’t be right if I didnt talk shit about Brian Payne. On paper, Davos should have won it all last season. GM Alex made some incredible moves and we picked up a solid goalie in Xavier Booberry and he added some offensive power to an already decently stacked defense. The team went into the playoffs with high hopes even though the season standings didn’t measure up to our goals. Taking out Riga to face Warsaw was a boost to the team and Davos was ready for Warsaw as GM Alex had the optimal line up and the team came into the series ready to battle. Unfortunately the STHS system had a glitch and Warsaw ended out winning the series, sending Davos home for the rest of the playoffs, and disappointing a couple of retiring Davos players wanting desperately to raise the trophy. GM Alex has wasted no time building the team to be competitive this season with additions to forwards, defense, and adding a goalie. It appears the defense should be solid with the addition of Deron Nesbitt who joins the team with a solid defensive set up. Nesbitt came to Davos on a three way trade with Helsinki and Calgary. And with Siyan Yasilievich continuing to be a star for Davos, along with James Teekirque, the team should be standing tall on the defense as Jake Thunder completes the defensive roster. Another three way trade sends Davos star center Napolean Dynamite to New York, while picking up a rising star left winger in Phoebe Bridgers. Bridgers had an outstanding rookie season with 71 points on Riga before the trade and will likely fill the vacancy of Dynamite quite easily. With Vinnie Detroit sticking around for another season, his experience is sure to bring the team up a notch. Pete Mitchell is expected to top the charts this season as he is reaching the peak of his career. Obi Adesanya and Mason Jones are expected to shine this season with goals, assists, and additional help on blocking shots. Sam Tombstone is added to the roster and is expected to step in to give Xavier Booberry a break in goal. Tombstone recently lifted the VHLE trophy for the Oslo Storm and had incredible stats in goal last season. As Booberry continues to be the top goalie in the league, the addition of Tombstone solidifies the Davos team. With all that said, it appears Davos steps into the season with high expectations and its quite possible that the managerial moves by GM Alex could be exactly what needed to be done to lift Davos up a notch to come home with a trophy. The next topic is my trivia question. How the hell did I get it wrong? It was easy, look up the players name and check the number of shutouts the player got while on Prague. The first choice was Brick Wahl. Brick Wahl didnt even play with Prague, but Brick Wahl II did and if that name was on the list, that name would have been the obvious winner. The other three names, which I can’t remember played for Prague and I picked the one who had the most shut outs, clicked the button and I was wrong. Fuck it! Enough bitching about that, except now I have to do a review to get a tpe point missed by trivia. Lastly, I’m going to talk some shit about Brian Payne, @Scurvy the Warsaw stud defender. The goon was on fire last season and dominated the stats with hitting and penalties, as well as contributing to scoring goals and getting a number of assists. The only thing Payne couldnt do was fight. He tried and tried and tried, but its like he taped his gloves from the inside because they would not come off. So come on Payne, zip up your spandex and get ready to go at it this season. 730 words

Damn Jardy, another episode with no traffic issues. At least you did a podcast so i got entertained. Too much drama!! Later

Press Conference Week ending 11/06/2022 (Answer Questions for 2 Capped TPE! 1. Were you caught by surprise that Philadelphia ended up winning it all? 2. What goal does your player have for the coming up season, and if you are staying on Mexico City, are you seeing good things for the team? 3. It’s Halloween. Are you taking part in any festivities? If so, what? 4. If you became a NHL team owner, what team would it be, and what would you make sure is in the owner’s box? 5. What was the last book you read? 6. Should pineapple go on pizza?

1: It’s gonna be officially the offseason at some point this week. Philadelphia Reapers (VHLM) Oslo Storm (VHLE) & DC Dragons (VHL) All won their respective championships. Which one surprises you most? Philadelphia and DC. Did not see that coming. 2: If you were in the StarWars universe, which color of the lightsaber would you choose? Deep blue that would turn into hot neon pink with every strike 3: Which current NHL jersey would you get? (To make it interesting let’s say it can’t be your favorite teams) If i cant have the Bruins or Sharks jersey i guess i will go with kraken 4: Which current NHL star would you like to meet and why? Taylor Hall so i could light a fire under his ass and tell him to keep scoring goals. 5: Do you like Halloween? Why? It has always been a good time for kids. I dont particularly like to answer the door a hundred times though. 6: Since it’s Spooky Season, which was the last form of media that scared you? (Songs, Movies, Shows, and so on) I think Annabelle Creation was the last movie 7: Connor McDavid is on a 164 points pace. How many points do you expect from him this season? Unfortunately he’s going to get injured so he’s only going to get 87 8: Have you seen the fight between Zach Kassian & Arber Xhekaj? If yes, are you surprised by the result? Nope 9: Is JAKE freaking OETTINGER legit?! of course, his name is Jake

Mexico City may have come up short to fly the Founder’s Cup banner, but they gave it their all. GM Cole, @badcolethetitan made some great moves this season to lift the team and the impact was immediate, putting the Kings into the playoffs. The Kings dominated Saskatoon in the first round and welcomed facing the Las Vegas Aces. The outgoing Aces GM Shindigs, @Shindigs stayed calm and prepared his team for the match up. Things were looking good for the Kings as they led the series 3-2, before Las Vegas came back and eliminated the Kings in game 7. The Kings were led by left wing Nikolas Kauppi, @Tetricidewho was the leader during the season as well. The recent addition of The Mediocre One, @RElblein gave confidence to the Kings and kept them in the running. On the defensive side, Nanashi Mumei, @kobematthewpounded opponents while helping the offense with assists. Womp Womp Womp Womp … @AdamEsshelped goalie Jeremy Swayman @Agitothroughout the series by blocking several shots. And of course the McFleury brothers were consistent contributors and team players all trying to lift the cup. The Kings will be losing several star players next season, all of whom will surely be leaders on their new teams. And surely you can be prepared for another super draft by Mexico City to help the Kings compete once again. There is no doubt GM Cole is already actively looking for some roster moves and draft picks to help his team dominate and be one of the top VHLM competitors. 243 words

Press Conference Week ending 10/30/2022 (Answer Questions for 2 Capped TPE!) 1. We came up short. It was a good run. Is there anything that your player could have done to get us into the finals? 2. How will you be improving your player during the off season? 3. Which team will you be cheering for to win the cup, Las Vegas or Philadelphia? 4. What is your take on FIFA changing the cup to this fall? Will you be watching or attending any games? 5. Do you still go out and trick or treat? 6. What toppings go on your favorite pizza?

Claim week 2/2

1: Alex Johnston and David Tavau have announced they’ll be retiring this offseason. Do you have any final words for your teammates? Respect. They deserve a parade. They were the nucleus of the team and kept us close. I miss them already. 2: I know it’s early and we’re not entirely sure who’ll be brought to Davos this offseason but who do you think will lead Davos in points next season? Pete Mitchell and Napoleon Dynamite are going to lead the league. 3: Moscow has made the VHL finals, who do you think joins them DC Dragons or Chicago Phoenix? Uhhh, I think I will go with Chicago 4: Sidney Crosby has 10 points in 5 games. How many points do you expect from him this season? Lady Bing 5: How many games will it take for Vancouver to get a win this season? All they have to do is play the Kraken. 6: Should the NHL allow players to be more unique? Like make visor tints, colored laces, and jersey tucks more common? Why? Look what happens when that shit goes on…. Play the game. 7: What was your favorite trick-or-treat costume? My son’s power ranger costume. 8: What is your favorite Scary Movie to watch during the season? Its not a Halloween movie, but its more like a chick flick. Hannibal Rising 9: What is your favorite type of Cake? Not much of a cake eater, but if I had to choose, angel food cake. Other than that, I like to listen to Cake.

Beers and Brats for off season training Cole!!

Ah well! I just know you are a scoring machine!!

Congratulations go out to Brian Payne @Scurvyfor squeaking out a victory to help Warsaw beat HC Davos and advance to the next round, but the Warsaw fans are disappointed in his inability to go toe to toe with Jake Thunder during the series. Thunder gave Payne multiple opportunities to accommodate the fans and yet Payne was squeamish on the ice during every encounter. Rumor has it that Payne’s involuntary twitters was so pronounced during the series, there was some consideration of not playing him to allow his upset stomach to recuperate. Now Brian Payne will try to lead the Predators against Moscow to make it into the championship round again. With Jake Thunder out of the way, Payne is already much more relaxed and is going to go into the next round with a sense of ease and back to normal play. Beware of next season Payne, as this latest round just gives Thunder more reason to come into the games with fire and ice and do not expect to have low scores by Davos next season as superstar center, Pete Mitchell, @Crstats23 came on late and will be ready to jump into a high scoring role next season to lift Davos over Warsaw all season. Enjoy it while you can Payne!! 213 words