Doomsday

Crazy game to start this series. Only downhill from here, right?

And we don't need your wall of text sob fests.

READY FOR REMY

Good shit Davos, now let's go get that cup!

Yo, let's have a rumble.

Two goals? I'll take it!

I'll consider it once you start taking your meds again.

Landry Providing Crucial Penalty Minutes DAVOS - After two playoff games, Thomas Landry has yet to tack on any points after scoring 109 in the regular season. That is not to say, however, that he hasn't found ways to contribute. He's racked up ten hits in those games, along with eight minutes in the penalty box. "The playoffs are a completely different animal, man," said Landry following Game Two. "Maintaining a physical presence is absolutely key here and as team captain, I need to set the bar for that. I've always maintained that winning is the most important stat, so even if I end up scoring negative points, if it means another Continental Cup, you better believe that's what I'll do." After two come from behind victories, the HC Dynamo now lead the series 2-0. If the Riga Reign want to send out Kameron Taylor with a Continental Cup trophy, they'll need to get to business as the series heads to Riga.

So how long before you retire your current player because your team sucks?

All these salty sea dogs, yeesh.

Where Was Landry? DAVOS - In the wake of the return of Thomas Landry to the world of social activity, many questions have arisen. When was the last time he showered? How many books has he read? Does he remember how to function as a normal human being? Was there pizza there? While these questions are no doubt important and meaningful, they are at best speculation and at worst wildly untrue. After Landry's brief press conference this morning, none of those questions were answered. We here at the MSFL Times feel that the best course in take in light of this is, of course, more wild speculation. Following are our best guesses to where Mr. Landry has been: Dead Wildly improbable, considering his top-notch performance on the ice this season. Then again, the SBA has seen zombie players, or rather at least one zombie player. Could the VHL have one now to add to their ranks? These possibilities, however, ended at Landry's press conference. He exhibited a normal appearance, could speak clearly and effectively, displayed excellent motor skills and did not eat or even attempt to bite another human being. Comments about the VHL not having any brains aside, this one already looks like a bust. Probability: Not bloody likely. Engineering Performance-Enhancing Drugs With Landry's powerful increase in productivity, many suspected that performance-enhancing drugs are to blame. However, the VHL has a god-like ability to detect any and all known forms of cheating, including every kind of performance enhancing drug. If Landry's new skills are from PEDs, then he had to have created them himself. But as anyone can attest, Landry's science skills are somewhere between -500 and the amount of people that believed OJ Simpson didn't murder his wife. Probability: Absolute Zero. Gathering the Dragon Balls Now this... this could be probable. Gathering the Dragon Balls is a long and arduous task that takes plenty of time and energy. It would also explain the big-time boost in his skills and his sudden return to the league. But to our knowledge, Landry is not a capable fighter. He cannot shoot energy beams, fly or punch/kick roughly a thousand times per second. There's also the fact that Dragon Ball Z is actually a cartoon and that elements of the show don't exist in reality. So in other words... this could be quite possible. Probability: OVER 9000 Got A Job At NFL Network Oh come on, now you're just being ridiculous. Why would Thomas Landry get a job at the NFL Network? He didn't even play football, not even as a kid. He was too busy playing hockey to even recreationally play football. Or learn what a first down is. Or an interception. This is just nonsense, there's no way that's where he was. Probability: A Number Equivalent To Warren Sapp's Bank Account Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, which continues to inexplicably cover hockey. He enjoys the finer things in life: riding Yoshis, beating up ninjas with household utensils and finding Jimmy Hoffa, only to hide him again.

I was burned out and just needed time away. My computer melting down further complicated things, as I didn't intend to be away for so long. As for not responding... guilt. I felt terrible about not being here, but being an admin there I knew I couldn't give both leagues my all. My responsibilities have gone down there, so I'm giving it another go here. Want to finish Landry's career and get my next player ready to go, so now is as good a time as ever to come back.

Seclusion Leads To Career Year? DAVOS - In the Victory Hockey League, logic can typically be thrown right out the window. This is most definitely the case with Davos winger Thomas Landry, who despite a hiatus from virtually all league-related activities had a career year on the ice, racking up 109 points with 44 goals and 67 assists. "When you think about it, it actually does make sense," said Landry, inexplicably still serving as the HC Dynamo's team captain. "If you're putting 100% of your mental focus onto your play on the ice, you're going to dominate. It was getting to the point in my career where I needed a big year like this. It's been tough not spending time with my teammates... so this isolation bit is over." The HC Davos Dynamo are currently awaiting the winners of the Riga Reign/Vasteras Iron Eagles series in order to continue their reign atop the European Conference.

The Oslo Storm are pleased to welcome the fastest man in the VHLM, C Forrest Josef!

The Oslo Storm are pleased to welcome RW Splorg Hansburgersteinewalden!

Oslo Receives: S38 YUK 2nd S40 OTT 2nd Ottawa Receives: S38 OSL 2nd I accept.

The Oslo Storm are pleased to retain RW Jackson Miller with the fourth overall pick!

+2

Player Name: Thomas Landry Cash you have: $6,000,000 Workout Name: 14 TPE Package Cost of Workout: $5,500,000 Cash Left: $500,000

Take that, random TOR bot!

I know you really want to lift a cup, but those brain injuries are catching up to you. Time to hang it up, old man.

Onwards, Davos! Time to repeat! Also incredibly tickled to deny Kendrick again.

DAV D1 for hero

Bring in DAV G!

Nice job Moher!