Doomsday

Now THAT is what I've been wanting to see from Landry all season! Chin up Riga, you'll have a nice squad before you know it.

Doesn't matter, got first star.

Content: 3/3 - Revisionist history! You lost causer! It's ok, I totally dig it. Grammar: 2/2 - Flawless. Appearance: 1/1 - I need a prettier time machine. Overall: 6/6 - Much history, wow. Very old!

Content: 3/3 - Keep up the good work homie. Soon the Ukraine will put the hurt on people, just like they did to their government! Grammar: 2/2 - Just some silly stuff: their player's continue = their players continue 10 Goals and 24 Assists for 34 Points in 42 Games = 10 goals and 24 assists for 34 points in 42 games finding the right areas better than better = ? you pot some goals in = you put some goals in Appearance: 1/1 - Zherdev! Zherdev! Overall: 6/6 -

Content: 3/3 - All these records, big numbers... STATISTICALLY CLUTCH. Grammar: 2/2 - Appearance: 1/1 - So many pretty pictures! Overall: 6/6 - Bully!

Content: 3/3 - Riggs has been a pleasant surprise for the Storm this season, it's been great to have him active and producing. If you keep up the good work, Vasteras will have ended up with quite the gem. Grammar: 2/2 - Really had to nitpick here. Well done. he's quite not there just yet. = he's not quite there just yet. (awkward wording) Appearance: 1/1 - Dude got KTFO'd. Overall: 6/6 -

Finding the Impact Rookie of S37 NEW YORK - The Christian Stolzschweiger Trophy, annually awarded to the top rookie of the Victory Hockey League, has a long and storied past. However, we are not here to discuss the past. With Season 36 drawing to a close, soon the league will learn which rising star will hoist the "Stolzy," as it is affectionately known. But since you can read, you already know that we're going to speculate on who will be winning that honor next season. But dude, you're surely saying, how can we predict that when they don't even play yet? How will you know how that will affect it? To to that, I say, simply: shut up. You're no fun. I've been able to narrow it down to four players that I think stand the best chance of bringing home the Stolzy next year (sorry Martin Brookside, your work will be cut out for you). Naturally, all four of them play for the Bratislava Watchmen, with three of them playing defenseman. I won't waste any more of your time, let's get to it: LW Tom Slaughter As the only forward on the list, Slaughter also boasts the most practice hours out of any prospect on this list. Slam dunk, right? He's got this in the bag! Not so fast, my friend. That doesn't exactly make for a good story that you'd read all the way through. That being said, the team that lands Tom Slaughter on draft day will be ecstatic, for they'll have added a Grade A player to their roster. Right now, he's a very balanced player, having no real forte yet. As a draftee, it makes him a very attractive option as it doesn't limit Slaughter as to what team or line he would need to go to, as he can easily adapt to it. However, bringing home a Stolzy means lighting up the stat sheet and for whatever reason, STHS hates it when players are balanced. Instead of being decent at everything and sucky at nothing, this loony engine decides that balanced players suck at everything instead. Naturally, this will change once he gets drafted and it will likely help his game a great deal. But what fun is it to pick the far and away favorite to win rookie of the year? D Andrey Zadorov Zadorov is the first player on this list that already has a home, having been drafted sixth overall by the New York Americans in the most recent draft (congratulations to both of you). He'll fit right in there and be a great player for New York, but no Stolzschweiger Trophy. Why's that? For starters, Andrey doesn't really have good shooting ability. Only netting 13 goals in 63 VHLM games is not a good sign for your future scoring numbers. That's fine and dandy, as Zadorov is the kind of guy that's always in the right place at the right time to get in the way or feed the puck to his teammates. Unfortunately, that doesn't translate into raw numbers very well, especially when you factor in that he isn't a physical player and won't rack up hits. Compared to his teammates, the numbers he'll put up won't be able to hold up. D Slaeter Fjorsstrom Fjorsstrom, the only draftee of the defenseman trio, also boasts the most total practice hours of the group. He's also the one that least resembles a defenseman, with most of his skills affecting the offensive game. Like Zadorov, he excels in getting into the right positions and is a great skater for being a rookie. However, he does lack some of the defensive instincts, being offensively minded. However, despite that, he's only scored ten goals in 63 games. He has been credited with 51 assists in that same span, showing he's made great progress with his passing abilities. You get the feeling that someone with his abilities should be doing more, which holds me back from predicting he'll suddenly go nuts next season. That, by default, leaves us with... D Phil Villeneuve Who saw that coming? Villeneuve has been a quiet presence for the Watchmen, but he has made plenty of noise on the ice. His skills might be inferior to his teammates, but the guy simply finds a way to get it done on the ice. In 63 games, he has scored 25 goals with 63 assists, which is pretty awesome production to get from a defenseman. His plus/minus is also +45, nearly double the other defenseman and 14 ahead of Slaughter. But there's one thing that separates Phil Villeneuve from the rest: he's not a complete wuss. He's not afraid to lay down the big hits and separate guys from the puck. He loves to hit and he will do it often, with 195 laid down in those 63 games. Villeneuve could kick someone's ass, set up a scoring play or maybe even finish it himself. If he would just work a bit harder, it's scary to think what he could end up becoming one day. So there you have it. If you enjoyed this article, I'm glad you did so. If you didn't like it, click here to be redirected to the bottom of the page and type something derogatory. Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, a stupendous work of non-fiction. He enjoys seeing other writers signing their work, storming the castle and hittin' dingers with Hammerin' Hank.

You haven't seen Anchorman?

Well that's just great. Graders. Now you've put the whole league in jeopardy.

My thoughts on this game are as follows:

USA! USA! USA!

ALSO Postseason Ticket status: punched.

I would like to add James Neal to my dislike list, because fuck James Neal, that's why.

Would lol so hard Also DAYUM MOHER!

Too busy slappin' fools around to score points.

309: Wranglers vs Reign 310: Americans vs Express 311: Bears vs HC Dynamo 312: Meute vs Legion

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I love seeing myself going practically a full round higher in retrospect.

Get bent, scrub!

It's a Bell P-400, a variant of the P-39 Airacobra. It's got some powerful weaponry on it, but not quite as nimble as my Kittyhawk.

I had a full depth chart done for each formation.

Creative Problem Solving With the HC Dynamo DAVOS - Today, we will examine a real puzzler of a question and then ask several members of the Davos HC Dynamo, a professional hockey team in the Victory Hockey League. Let's not waste any time. Question: There is a wall between you and a particularly delicious sandwich. How do you remedy this situation? Davey Jones: Hire some guys to take the wall apart, then sell the bricks for more than I paid the workers. Afterwards, I enjoy the sandwich with more money than I originally had. Odin Tordahl: Offering the great gift of female bosoms to Thor, the God of Thunder, I laugh as the wall is smitten by the warriors of Valhalla. We then enjoy the sandwich together, as I wasn't really that hungry in the first place. Thomas Landry: Simple. Drive an M-1 Abrams tank through the wall, collect the sandwich, then go wherever I please to consume it. Sergey Brovalenko: Graffiti the wall with so many grammatical errors until it collapses out of shame. Free sandwich! Matt Bentley: I'd demand that the wall bend to my will and give me the sandwich until it gave in. Shane Baker: Ask politely, but be firm. When it stops taking you seriously, grab the sandwich and leg it! Lennox Moher: I would just open the door and take it. Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL TImes, who doesn't place sandwiches behind walls. He enjoys eating said sandwiches, posing bizarre questions to children and laughing at the Denver Broncos.