.sniffuM

If you wanted replies you would have named him Aeschylus Jigglejawns CXXXVII tbh

I may have some stuff still on HD. If I can find it(it's a fucking mess...boob folders everywhere) I'll let you know.

Most likely to have an award named after them

The best part of this is that there apparently have been 136 other people named Aeschylus Jigglejawns in the past.
 
Plenty of Aeschylus, I mean the Oresteia is arguably the reason why things are done in trilogies, but Jigglejawns? He is the 137th person in a long line of people with the name Jigglejawns? That's fantastic.

The Muffins agency struggled to start when it came to bringing in new players to the VHL at the inception of their service, choosing to represent duds Damien Walec and Optimus Prime. They hit their sweet spot in Season 18, bringing Joey Clarence and then future Hall of Famer Tukka Reikkinen into the fold. The agency fell on hard times once again after that, with GIYGAS and E'Twaun Delicious struggling to live up to their draft billings. They hope they can buck the trend with young defenseman Aeschylus Jigglejawns CXXXVII.
 
The young Greekman has impressed over in their junior league, netting 18 goals and 31 total points over 24 games, while logging a league-leading 9 goals in 12 postseason games. Given the lower stature of the league he plays in, however, Jigglejawns CXXXVII was forced to sign with an agency that many would hesitate to call one of the VHL's elites.
 
Muffins agency president and former first client Damien Walec acknowledged as much in a press conference, saying: "We've had three first rounders, a second rounder, and two third rounders come through our agency. Our lowest drafted player was our second best and arguably the most impactful for the name of our agency. But it's tough to deny that our last two guys haven't lived up to expectations, especially with one of them being a first overall pick. I warn VHL General Managers to take that into consideration when pondering over our players in the future."

It's like computer's version of the Xbox/PS store, except like 833 times better.

Updated for Season 49 Regular Season. Current Players currently in top 10's:
 
Jorma Ruutu @jRuutu
T-7th Games Played
8th Goals
9th Assists
8th Points
6th +/-
5th Hits
3rd GWG
 
Edwin Reencarnacion
T-7th Games Played
3rd Goals
6th Assists
5th Points
4th +/-
3rd Hits
1st GWG
 
E'Twaun Delicious @.sniffuM
T-2nd Games Played
4th Goals
10th Assists
7th Points
5th +/-
T-4th GWG
 

Be able to pop the lenses on my glasses back in when they come out on the first try every time
 
I'm an ass for always getting half frame glasses but I like how they look better than full frame. Every couple weeks I lose 20 minutes and my mind tryna get those fuckers back in

Besides, how do I guarantee people won't Janelle her?

They can take away my team but they can never take away my championship

that vasteras cup was something special @sterling

interesting, i figured it was fairly unsteady work, but nice to see it pays well!
 
yeah i can see how a slice of pizza at the gas station can be convenient, but a whole pizza is just not a good deal! lol. keep that in mind if you ever are getting hot food when ypure working  

Spoiler Alert:
 
She's the gas station chick @Streetlight is after.
 

McDonald's playland is pretty strict with cancellations.

You won't find out until Draper bans you.

I sent a pm to draper and asked if he could ban .sniffuM
 
We should find out soon if the name is too sexual.

How dare you insult the VHL. The SHL aren't that good. Bunch of rubbish MUFFINS they dug out of the garbage.

Already having secured his spot amongst the great forwards to ever play in the VHL, E'Twaun Delicious has declared his goal for next season, his eighth and final in the league.
 
"I believe that I will, quite easily, break the VHL single-season scoring record in the league's 50th season," Delicious stated. "I've taken it easy on the league these past few years, because I know it wouldn't be any fun to dominate the league at the level I can. However, for my swan song I've decided to put myself into the league's history books. My goal is 300 points, with 250 goals; I know it'll be easily attainable, I might even reach that point through our first 15 games next season, but for now I've decided to set my sights low."
 
Surely, reaching this incredible milestone will be able to turn the inevitable Hall of Famer into the unquestioned greatest of all time in the Victory Hockey League.

Already having secured his spot amongst the great forwards to ever play in the VHL, E'Twaun Delicious has declared his goal for next season, his eighth and final in the league.
 
"I believe that I will, quite easily, break the VHL single-season scoring record in the league's 50th season," Delicious stated. "I've taken it easy on the league these past few years, because I know it wouldn't be any fun to dominate the league at the level I can. However, for my swan song I've decided to put myself into the league's history books. My goal is 300 points, with 250 goals; I know it'll be easily attainable, I might even reach that point through our first 15 games next season, but for now I've decided to set my sights low."
 
Surely, reaching this incredible milestone will be able to turn the inevitable Hall of Famer into the unquestioned greatest of all time in the Victory Hockey League.

Ronaldo justly DESTROYED by ESPN.
 
http://www.espnfc.com/team/portugal/482/blog/post/2893927/cristiano-ronaldos-iceland-criticism-was-arrogant-and-did-him-a-disservice
 
If only Cristiano Ronaldo had been so cutting on the actual pitch. After the Real Madrid star failed to score in Portugal's frustrating 1-1 draw with Iceland, a match in which he put forward a very quiet and underwhelming individual performance, he at least succeeded in taking some attention away from the Nordic heroes with the following comments in the mixed zone.
"Iceland didn't try anything," Ronaldo said after Iceland had actually pulled off the greatest result in their history in their first ever tournament match. "It was a lucky night for them. We should have three points but we are OK. I thought they'd won the Euros the way they celebrated at the end. It was just unbelievable. When they don't try to play and just defend, defend, defend this is in my opinion shows a small mentality and are not going to do anything in the competition."
You could say it was surprising that Ronaldo would come out with disrespectful comments like this, as the Iceland story is so well-known by now, but they're all too believable given what we have already heard on numerous occasions throughout his career. The sad reality is that, aside from being bitter and laughable, these words were also self-absorbed and a typically arrogant attempt to absolve himself of any criticism.
Put simply, these are the type of comments that fuel his critics, reiterate why he is greatly respected rather than adored and why he doesn't have the widespread affection that his ability should afford him. Iceland's Kari Arnason offered a bit more edge after the game, saying that Ronaldo is "not a gracious human being" and adding: "His comments are the reason why [Lionel] Messi is always going to be one step ahead of him... it shows we got under his skin. It was lovely to hear that."
Given how deeply competitive Ronaldo is with Messi, Arnason's words may have irked the Portuguese even further. Asked whether you would expect Messi to say things like that, the Iceland defender said "no."
Arnason plays his club football with Malmo, and appeared in Real Madrid's 8-0 humiliation of the Swedish side in the Champions League this season -- when Ronaldo hit four -- so that adds another level of hypocrisy to the star's comments. It's extremely rich for Ronaldo to complain about how Iceland celebrated such a meaningful result for them, given the ostentatious and often ludicrous in-your-face way he celebrates genuinely meaningless goals when Real are just adding another to a pummelling of vastly inferior-resourced sides like Malmo, Getafe or Levante. With the way he reacts to those -- to use the player's own phrase against him -- you would think he had won the Spanish title. That is still something he has barely done, managing it just once in seven years.
Ronaldo surely can't even claim ignorance of the Iceland story. His comments came after he was asked about whether he could see the romance of their result. He didn't seem to care about that.
The comments are even worse when you consider the pattern of the game, let alone the context. Iceland kept him so quiet on the pitch, with crunching tackles and pressing, which may explain why Ronaldo was so unfairly vociferous on it. When Ronaldo did finally get a chance, a free header minutes from the end, he wasted it with a poor effort straight at the goalkeeper.
Indeed, as Arnason also said, Iceland "almost nicked the win so him saying we aren't going for the win contradicts that." It's all the more impressive that they actually came from behind. Sides that are set up in the truly defensive way Ronaldo described tend to have no way back once they concede the opening goal.

Cristiano Ronaldo failed to score as Portugal drew 1-1 with Iceland.
There was just so much hypocrisy, and also self-indulgent wastefulness. Around the time that Iceland did get those chances to nick it, Portugal got a series of free kicks. Ronaldo, of course, insisted on taking them, only to add to his continuously poor set-piece record in recent times. His goal against Portsmouth for Manchester United in 2008 may be one of his most famous, but he has failed on what feel like endless attempts to repeat it.
The thing with Ronaldo is that, for all his preening and self-indulgence, many teammates do like him a lot. At one media dinner, one figure began criticising the Portuguese's selfishness as a player, only for a former Manchester United teammate of Ronaldo's to immediately interject that, in 2007-08, the player told Owen Hargreaves to take United's free kicks as he was hitting them better.
But Ronaldo's comments on Iceland are why he possibly doesn't get the credit he deserves as a player. He should have known that, given the nature of the Iceland story, there is just no way to say those things and not look bad.
Despite all that, the fitting final word went to Iceland. "I mean, he can say whatever he wants," Arnason said. "He didn't really get a chance today, he got one and he couldn't put it away. What can I say? Sore loser. Tough s---."

So I read through all of my episode scripts and I kinda really want to finish this. The question is would people even get it at this point?