der meister

Stinky Helstinky

Cthulhu video 1: 

Partway through the chapter 4 edit. Thinking a lot about the additions I need to make a little later in the book. Feels like a worthy effort in any case.

7 hours ago, Greg_Di said:

1) Riga takes a commanding 3-1 lead in the cup finals, do they have what it takes to win the final game? Why or Why not?

2) Toddly Bobbly (Toronto's goalie) has been the talk of the playoffs so far with his amazing performances but seems to be faltering in the finals, why do you think that is?

3) What job would you do if all jobs paid exactly the same?

A1) Sure, why not? They're already 75% of the way there

A2) Probably the name

A3) Writer, obviously. I hope I can make enough money to do this anyway.

Q1) How are you?

Q2) How is your player going to do next year?

Q3) You are suddenly 16 years old. What music are you listening to?

1 hour ago, BOOM said:

I just want some damn trivia questions.

Admit it: you only clicked because the subject had Head in it. 

It's so much easier to write articles in the offseason than these weird little .com pieces. I honestly have no idea what to talk about, and don't have the mental energy to look at the playoffs or any of that crap. Rookie season, finished on the outside of the playoff picture, so I hate all the teams that made it in. As such, I can't be bothered to figure out who I hate the most or anything like that. 

I'm listening to a Noir Jazz mix on Youtube as I write this and generally I enjoy this kind of thing but it's not putting me in the right mood to write. Gonna change it up. Okay, now we have a Persona 3/4/5 Workout Mix of high energy tracks. It starts with P5's Blooming Villain, which is definitely getting me going. Speaking of Youtube, there's some weird shit in there that gets recommended to me sometimes. Naked women cleaning their apartments just wearing body paint? WTF? 

I'm really anxious to find out who the next Dragons General Manager is going to be. I hope they message me and we can get a conversation going about the direction of the team. I'm cautiously optimistic Shev's going to break out in his upcoming sophomore season, but beyond that, I'd like to know where we're headed.

17 minutes ago, Subject056 said:

This was a very entertaining read and I think we should use the bean scale for everything now. Let's get it up and running for all VHL needs involving a scale!

 

For the beans! 

I asked an AI to assist with the marketing of this scale. Included the prompt for your edification. 

https://ibb.co/ysM1bZw - full size

10 minutes ago, rory said:

I’ll accept the score as long as I can add chili oil to my rating.

Trade confirmed.

claiming week 1 of 2

I've written a number of different articles over the years, in a number of different styles. Today is another one of those articles. Hell of an introduction, right? Well, the tone of this one is silly, i.e. not serious, so if you're mentioned in this article and I appear to be shitting on you, please know that it's only how it appears and it's not real shit. Or something. I don't know; the analogy kind of fell apart there at the end. Anyway, today's idea is to rate the users who have applied for the vacant D.C. Dragons General Manager gig. Whoever is selected will have the absolute privilege of being my General Manager, so I feel it's only fair I get to write up an article like this.

@rory - Not sure if he has a preference for which team between D.C. and Helsinki  he manages, as his post simply said "Apply!". I haven't had any real interactions with him that I can recall, but he does have one of the most obnoxiously-named players in the VHL, WWWWWWWWWWWW. That name drives me crazy, so I give Rory 6.35 pinto beans out of a scale of 0 to 13 generic beans. The scale is still being worked out, but it involves any number of beans, ranging from garbanzo, which are also a pea, somehow?, to magic. It's worth noting that 6.35 pinto beans is neither parallel nor equal to 6.35 black beans, for example.

@Ricer13 - Unless I'm much mistaken, Ricer is an old school SHL user as well? Or is there someone else with a Rice-based username. His player, Spider Panda, who interestingly enough is also a goalie just like W's up there, went first overall in my draft class. Good for him, not for me. #SadFace. He stated in his application that he's interested in either job, but preferring Helsinki. I give him 7.79 baked beans on the 13 point scale, because Rice and Beans is a solid dinner option but baked beans make it work more than, say, mung beans.

@sadie - I don't know Sadie, but she joined the VHL on my birthday two years ago, so that's pretty dope. She's applied for both jobs but has not stated a preference, which is a nice change of pace. Looking at you, Ricer. Her current player, Brandon Petan Jr, is VHL draft eligible after going 4th overall in the VHLM draft. That's kind of all I know about her. I give her 9.63 cannellini beans.

@PacifistKit17 - This guy has been in the VHL even less time than Sadie, having joined about 16 months ago. I don't know him, but he's a former VHLE GM, so there's some experience there. Probably should have noted that Rory is one of those as well. Let's bump Rory's 6.35 pintos up to 6.53 edamame. Anyway, Pacifist applied for both jobs but also prefers Helsinki, so I guess I should just piss off, right? 4.91 anasazi beans.

@VattghernCZ - FINALLY Someone who has their priorities straight! Vatthern says, "Applying, preferably D.C. - dragons are cool." Yes, Vatt, they are. All that being said, I have no idea who he is, nor do I recall ever seeing the player name Alagsantere Groenvold, but that's a hell of a mouthful. Still, actually being interested in D.C. is enough to offset the alphabet soup player name, so I award him 7.68 flageolet beans.

@v.2  - The head of PT himself applies, by simply saying "apply". No preference stated, but cat cartoon avatar is kind of nice. He's also been around 3 and a half years, which is a pretty decent stint here. That said, I'm not sure how much I've actually interacted with him, nor does he display a preference for piloting the mighty Dragons, so he'll have to settle for 4.44 repeating kidney beans.

@qripll - I'm confused. Confused how to say this name, confused how this guy has been around 6 days longer than v.2, and confused how I've never heard of him. But the former VHLE GM [I'm sensing a theme here] said "Apply for both!", and D.C. is one of the both, so he's a candidate. Not sure if he's actually in Russia or just cosplaying Russian, but having a Russian manage my Ukrainian player gives me the weirds. 6.12 coffee beans.

@Benson - I've never talked with him, but Benson "would like to run them Dragons". I'm glad it doesn't say "a train on" in the middle of that sentence. Benson is our goalie in D.C. and had a hell of a season for the squad. He also has a cute animated cat gif avatar, and has been around for nearly 6 years. He doesn't post much - only 74 times - but he's active and has the aforementioned cat. Also, I'm allergic to cats. 5.56 cocoa beans.

I'm going to combine the last three applicants, because none of them expressly said they want to manage D.C., so @McGriddy10, @Beaviss, and @ethanjaeda are in a three way tie with 6.000001 adzuki beans. I'm pretty sure all these guys are really new members and haven't done anything around the VHL. Hell, all three of them have totally blank avatars as well, though apparently Beaviss's's's's player is a drug. 

So there you have it, folks  - one of these 11 will most likely become the next General Manager of the D.C. Dragons. The competition is fierce, and while the judges are still trying to decipher the point scale, it's safe to say that any of these 11 are most likely actual human beings...or perhaps they are human beans? They likely have a pulse, are able to communicate with words, and potentially can guide the Dragons out of the VHL's basement and back to the high-flying glory the franchise used to experience. I mean, potentially they won't, too, and they flame out after 2 months, go inactive, and we're in a worse situation than ever. But I don't see that happening. These fine human beans are ready, willing, and eager to scream it from the rooftops, and I'm here for it. Hell, maybe I'll even put out a safety net just in case they slip while they're up there.

Informational chart provided for information

Keeping myself honest. The goal for this weekend is to at least finish with chapter 3. I know a few people here expressed interest in beta reading, so if you're still interested, shoot me a DM and we'll chat.

Also, gonna start celebrating spooky season early by playing Call of Cthulhu, starting Thursday. I will tell you right now there will be jump scares, and I will scream. 

2 hours ago, Doomsday said:

 

1. What sport really needs a new/better sim league?

Um...I dunno. I've had the thought for 10 years that a modded version of STHS could be really fun to play around with, basically use the engine to simulate D&D style parties, with point tasks to come up with story lore adding skill points, things like that.

 

2. What are your thoughts about the VHLE closing up shop?

Disappointing. My next player was going to be VHLExclusive

 

3. What is the most underrated fruit, in your opinion?

Bananas. People take them for granted, but they're good and versatile

Q1 - If you're a gamer, your favorite genre of video game is?

Q2 - If you're a movie watcher, your favorite genre of movie is?

Q3 - What would a mashup of those two genres look like, in your opinion?

Posting this just as much to keep my ass in gear as anything else. Up to page 28 of 218 [equals out to just above 86,000 words] in my latest round of novel revision. Going to have to add a good chunk throughout to flesh out some stuff. I figure this will end up between 90 and 93k when this revision is finished. Then I'm pitching it, hard, for 3-6 months. No takers, I'm self-pubbing come July. If you like vivid supernatural thrillers, this one's for you.

1) Revisions on my novel are going slowly, but today I finally made it into chapter 2. I actually surprised myself with some of my writing, in a very good way.

2) I have applied to multiple remote jobs. Making progress in this area should hopefully help me out of the mental hole my job has put me in recently.

3) I figured out today what my next 7 Days to Die series is going to be. Not sure when it will happen, but I'm gonna get a little outside the box and I can't wait for it. 

30 minutes ago, FrostBeard said:

Aww, @der meister you are a solid dude. Awesome individual. Have been my pleasure to be your GM!

Also, it is quite interesting that you say GM Marshall Frostbeard. I always have gone with John Frostbeard (After my first player) however I always liked Marshall James Frostbeard the most. 

Oh, I always associate Marshall with you. Noted!

Forgive me for the modified Smashing Pumpkins reference in the title. Marshall Frostbeard's career as a VHL General Manager is over. At least for now - never say never, right? I alluded to this in the past but Frostbeard has been a tremendous leader; now that I've played for him with a second player, there's no doubt in my mind. He's also a very chill dude, who I'm looking forward to getting to know better whenever we end up scheduling the first of our hopefully many podcasts. I think in a lot of ways he's in a similar place as I am: stretched too thin but still striving to be the best he can be. It's a tough thing to maintain, and I know I'm teetering on snapping outright, and I hope he's doing better than I am.

I feel a certain level of guilt that I wasn't able to do more, either with Sakamoto or Shevchenko, to get Frostbeard a league title. Sometimes it just doesn't work out, as we're all aware, but this is a guy who deserves to go out a champion.

Still, I raise my glass - or in this case, my mug of cinnamon horchata stress-relief tea - in his honor. To Frostbeard, for his dedication to the VHL, to the D.C. Dragons, and to being a damn fine human being. Cheers, my friend.

@FrostBeard

On 9/13/2024 at 1:32 AM, Jubis said:

1) Season is coming to an end, has your player reached their seasons goal?

Oh God no, was overall only so so

 

2) What is your players favorite thing to do in the off-season?

Spend that paper.  Buy expensive things 

 

3) Since Tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup then considered a smoothie?

Yes and fries are best with smoothies 

 

1. IN FANTASY HOCKEY WHO ARE YOUR TOP 3 NHL PLAYERS ? 

 

2. PLAYOFFS ARE HERE , DID YOUR TEAM HAVE A GOOD SEASON ? 

 

3. WOULD YOU EVER TRY A CARNIVORE DIET ?

A1) McDavid, Kucherov, Makar

A2) Nope. Not even a little.

A3) Nope. Not even a little. Been vegetarian for 21 years.

Q1) Have you ever been so mentally and emotionally fried that words don't make sense anymore?

Q2) What's your favorite genre of literature?

Q3) Do you have a favorite musical instrument to listen to? Good cello music always gives me chills.

Even though I literally just skipped the E, I'm actually a little sad about this. My post-Shev plan was to make an E exclusive player. 

11 minutes ago, BOOM said:

I posted that special for you, Boom

Jeez. My player really takes after me. Also butt-ending. Just ask my wife. Ironically, both shev and I end up in the sin bin at that point. 

    The sun is shining, the days are still long enough to be noteworthy, and the air is just starting to bring that tinge of autumnal crispness on the edges of the wind. It's September, and Konstyantyn Shevchenko of the D.C. Dragons finally feels like he's started to arrive. For this season, it's too little too late for the team from the U.S. capitol, but team management has to be happy with the growth of their most recent first round pick.

    It's not easy to be optimistic about a team that's been at the bottom of the league table since day one. Whether it's their abysmal offensive production or their horrendous goals allowed, the Dragons have been a punching bag this season. This offseason will undoubtedly be a critical one, and there is a glaring need to add a number of blueliners to the mix. Adding some depth up front would not be amiss, either. In fact, the only position that seems to be reliable is in net, with goaltender Herald Benson posting surprisingly good individual statistics.

    Following a slow start, Shevchenko is said to have put in extra work off ice, frequently biking before and after practice, and hitting the weights in a big way. Reportedly, he has also cornered the team's video scouting staff and demanded additional time to focus on his play, revisiting what he accomplished successfully, and where he should make better decisions in the future. And now it's paying dividends.

    Having recently eclipsed the 20 goal mark, Shevchenko appears to not be satisfied being just another scoring winger. His physical play has ramped up considerably since first stepping on the ice with the Dragons, and his commitment to being a positive presence in the defensive zone cannot be understated. Add in his 6'8" frame and it's easy to see why scouts had him ranked so highly in his Draft class. It's obviously far too early in his career to predict, but what he has shown this season makes it much easier to picture Shevchenko being a candidate for various individual awards, such as the Scott Boulet Trophy for the VHL's best two-way forward.

    "I just try to play every shift like it could be my last," Shevchenko said, his command of the English language being yet another item to show noteworthy improvement.

    It hasn't been an easy journey for the massive Ukrainian. The plan to slot him on the Dragons' top line to start the season did not go as hoped, but he has been able to solidify himself as a two-way threat since shifting down a line. The forward trio of Shevchenko, Theo Allard, and Tom Dufour are all slated to return next season, with the first two both taking a massive pay cut in the way their contracts are structured. As of this moment, the Dragons are set to have nearly 80% of the maximum cap space available, which is frankly staggering. And Allard and Dufour aren't getting any younger, though they are only a handful of years Shevchenko's senior. But the possibilities, the pure, raw potential, of the D.C. Dragons cannot be ignored.

The D.C. Dragons: the home of the few and the brave

Woof

41 minutes ago, Spartan said:

I've seen a lot of mixed things across social media and the news, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see how it plays out since I assume it's more of an internal thing the band and their agency will need to handle. I've read that she's 2nd gen scientologist, aka being born into it since her parents joined the cult and are apparently high ranking officers. And the Masterton thing seemed to be a prelim trial and I don't really think she's had any other visible involvement with the Scientologists for years now or Masterton. So I'm hopeful that it's one of those "I'm born into a shitty situation but trying to get my own agency" cases where she just doesn't believe in all that but has no way real of getting out.

I hope you're right. I'm not a huge LP fan, but I still listen to Hybrid Theory regularly enough to be invested in things from an outside perspective.  

The scientology stuff is really bad - they dont believe in mental health as a concept, so it feels like a real slap in the face to Chester's memoy.

Her support of a rapist is worse. 

And this isn't a misogynistic thing. I love female vocals in all sorts of music, including hard rock and metal. Her baggage is just too much. 

1 hour ago, Banackock said:

Not bad! 

Disagree.

44 minutes ago, Daniel Janser said:

I see your point and do not disagree with your statement when it comes to sim. I would hold though that sometimes one targets the member behind the player, because one knows what intangibles they bring to the locker room. Point in Case Calgary's picks in the S95 draft. @Ricer13 and @Phil were not primarily picked for their TPE, but for the vibe they brought and bring to the Calgary locker room. The pure numbers would have dictated to pick @Greg_Di and @der meister instead. Of course there were positional needs in play as well. I also want to make it very clear that this was not a choice against Eagles or Shevchenko but one for Panda and Sakic. 

It's cool. I'll make you suffer for it, but it's cool.