theme week Space Force Enlists Thadius Sales

[thadthrasher 1,692]

Following is a transcription from the audio logs of Captain (CPT) Thadius Sales.

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Audio log #SF432. The date is April 12th, 2021. Today we've made history, but the people of earth still are unaware of what has been happening here on Mars. I can hardly believe it myself. Not long ago I was just a prison inmate who fell in love with hockey, now I'm saving earth from a dangerous alien species. It's funny how things like this happen.

 

It seems like it was just yesterday that I was supposed to play my first game as a New York American. The excitement was real, and I was incredibly anxious to step onto the ice for the first time in the VHL. I'd spent all day mentally and physically preparing, and as I was getting my equipment on I was finally feeling ready. The nerves shook away, and it was time for me to go. As I stood up though this man in a black suit stopped me from leaving the locker room.
(Admiral Simon-T)
(Thadius Sales)

 

"Mr. Thadius Sales?"

 

"Yea? Are you my new agent? I've been waiting to hear from you all day."

 

"Mr. Sales, I'm Admiral Simon-T of the United States Space Force."

 

"Oh. Hey there. Are you looking for an autograph or something?"

 

"No. Mr. Sales, I can't talk about it here, but you need to come with me. You've been assigned to me from this point forward. Grab your things, your country need you. The earth needs you."

 

"Wait, wait, wait. You expect me to just come with you?! What about my team? I'm supposed to start in net tonight!"

 

"Don't worry about that, we've got it under control."

 

At this point a man stepped out from around the corner. I couldn't believe my eyes. This man wasn't just any man, it was....it was me. He looked just like me, sounded just like me, and even had my equipment on. I tried to resist at first, but Admiral Simon-T gave me no choice. From that moment on I was not allowed to talk to anyone, and the whole world, especially the VHL, was convinced that I was still in New York.

 

We travelled to the Space Force Command Center, which I'm not even sure I know where it is. I was ushered into a large and dark conference room with 21 other men and Admiral Simon-T

 

"Mr. Sales, from this moment on you are promoted to the rank of Captain in the United States Space Force. Before you sits the men that will be working with you. We've recently received an audio message through one of our undercover satellites that have been orbiting Mars. This isn't the first audio message we've received, but it is the first aggressive one."

 

"Wait, there are aliens?! And, you've been talking to them!?"

 

"Don't act so surprised, we've all known they existed long before we had communication with them. Well, now their communication has extended beyond pleasantries and into direct threats to earth."

 

"My God, I can't believe it!"

 

"Well, get over your shock captain. There isn't much time to get into the grime of it all, but it seems that while we have been sending out audio and video messages through our satellites a species known as Zorgborgs intercepted our messages on Mars. They've discovered our existence, hacked into our satellite systems over earth and have discovered the greatest sport of all time, ice hockey. They've created their own league, and have issued a challenge to us here on earth. This is the latest message we've received from the Zorgborgians."

 

"Hello puny earthlings. This is Zarnog, leader of the Zorgborgs of the planet you call Mars. We've seen your satellites around our planet for some time, but our deep underground systems have fooled you all into thinking there is no life here on Zerptetron (or Mars as you idiots know it as). We've seen you play something you call 'hockey' on your 'televisions.' After learning your game, which we call 'Hard-Cold Disk Slap with Sticks,' we've created a team to challenge you. If you win, we will leave earth alone and in peace. But, if you lose to us, we shall destroy all who inhabit earth and take over that disgusting planet. The choice is yours"

 

"So, as you can see, we need your help. The other men in this room are some of earth's greatest hockey players, but we needed a starting goaltender. That's you. I expect you to work the hardest you ever have so that we can defeat the Zorgborgs. Your training starts right now, and the game is in a few months. God speed."

 

I sat in disbelief at all that I had heard. I couldn't even begin to fathom what was just said to me, what I had just heard! But, there wasn't anything I could do. If I said no I would be jailed, and I'd be putting the whole earth at risk. All I could do was say yes and work hard. So, that's what I did. For months I received training through the Space Force, learned all that I could, and even played a few games in near 0 gravity situations (which I don't recommend to anyone). We'd be playing the game on Mars, so we needed to get used to the lack of gravity on the planet.

 

As the months of training went by I would see glimpses of my body double playing hard in New York. I wanted nothing more than to be there, but this was more pressing. He was making a mockery of my name, playing like an idiot. He was mediocre and untalented. So, it quickly became my goal to beat the Zorgborgs and return to my beloved New York Americans. That's exactly what we did.

 

When we arrived on Mars we were met by a large cluster of Zorgborgs. They were all a dark yellow, like a dehydrated urine color. They just stared at us, never greeting or breaking from their stare. They ushered us into an underground facility, which held a VHL regulation sized rink. In fact, they had controlled the gravity in the room to match that of earth's, -9.81 m/s squared. Those fools.

 

It was easy to see that they weren't used to the gravity that they had set for the arena. They stumbled around the ice, not used to the increased weight they were feeling. They couldn't skate, and their shooting was awful. The only thing that was challenging was their size. The average Zorgborg stood at just over 2 meters, and weighed just about 114 kg. These were big creatures, and they hit hard.

 

We easily controlled the puck and were able to zip around them. Anytime they shot at me it felt like a soft lob, and it was a pretty deceptive thing. Their size and weight suggested their shots would come in hot and precise, but it was clear early on that they had soft and weak hands. The only thing going for them was that they had a play style like Brad Marchand or Tom Wilson, dirty and cheap. Well, despite their dirty play we ended up destroying them. But the end of the game we had won 9-0.

 

We felt so good about our victory, and as I said earlier, no one on earth knew that we had just saved them all. Not one of the nearly 8 billion people on earth knew that they were at risk and that a bunch of empty headed hockey players had saved them from certain death and even enslavement. 

 

The team was quickly moved back onto our ship and we took off. The leader of the Zorgborgs, Zarnog, offered a peace deal and a promise to never challenge the great hockey players of earth again.

 

As I conclude my final Space Force audio log I feel excited to get back to earth and into my New York Americans sweater. It's time for New York to see who their goalie actually is. Now, I'm not allowed to tell anyone that I was gone for the last 6 months, and I'm not allowed to mention anything that happened under direct threat of "an unfortunate accident" happening to me. So, until the truth eventually comes out I'll just be your average hockey player, not the hero that saved the earth.

 

Until next time, this is Captain Thadius Sales of the Space Force Hockey Team signing off.

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End Audio

 

 

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1418 words, claiming week ending 18 April

S77 Theme Week

[KC15 340]

Review - Well written and very, very inventive.  Truly on theme. I like how the dialogue was set off in different colors which made it easy to follow who was talking.  Just hated Simon T getting to be an Admiral.  lol  9/10