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That Dude Reportedly Taking PEDs


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London United third-year forward That Dude has been working on a breakout year from a statistical standpoint thus far. After posting a measly 29-point and 39-point campaign through his first two seasons on a veteran-loaded London team, London has opted to go younger this year. With that in mind, it has correlated to an increase in playing time/role responsibility for Dude -- who has responded well.


That Dude is currently on pace for a point-plus per game average (7G, 14A through 19 G). On top of that, he's also recorded 84 hits to date (on pace for a 280+ hit season), which would more than double his previous career high. Speculations among irrelevant people in the league have gone on record saying That Dude is apparently on PEDs, or Performance Enhancing Drugs. 


"All I'm hearing is that haters are gonna hate. This is all just progression at work. I've been busting my ass off each and every single week since being drafted in the S77 Entry Draft. Sure, I'm not a monster earner or a donor like some of the other folks from my class but I get every single capped TPE as much as I can. I've been working on fine-tuning my game, the techniques and whatnot the last two seasons. This year, the team management and I've decided that it was time for me to get to work on my body in the gym. Doing different things with my workouts and what not... I just think that the dividends are starting to pay off right now. Nice to have that feeling you know, progressing showing itself. 


I fully expect to post career-highs all across the board this year, then improve upon myself with each and every passing season from now onwards. Am I taking PEDs? I will neither confirm nor deny that speculation. You want to know the truth? Go ahead and test me, b*tches." 

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