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Claimed:A troubled star out of his depth


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By Renee Young


With the recent closing of the nationally-renowned United States Football League, many of its former athletes are looking for another athletic outlet. Some have chosen to go overseas and seek smaller football venues, and others have decided to call it quits entirely, citing family and other dreams they’d like to follow. One such USFL star, however, has decided to try his hand at an entirely different sport – enter Emidas Blair, the sometimes useful Running Back for the Los Angeles Express. While most of the sporting world has express shock that someone of his average-ability at football would switch to another sport, most are actually quite relieved that he has given up his hopeless dream of becoming the best football player in the world.


Blair has foregone the usual pity party that is normally associated with losing a job, and has decided to go head first into the VHL, one of the most stable sporting leagues in the world. Citing that same stability as the main reason for his foray into hockey, Emidas has worked tirelessly with old high school and college coaches in an attempt to pick up the sport. Says his high school coach, Enzo Amore: “Emidas Blair is one of the realest guys in the room. He may not have spent his entire life playing ice hockey, but he spent the better part of his college life playing another form of hockey if you know what I mean. I’m talking about tonsil hockey. Not that hard.”


While his former colleagues on the football field and the coaches he has tirelessly worked with have nothing but praise for the former football star, we had to wonder if Blair could really pull this off. We decided to seek out his most recent ex-girlfriend, Britani Knight, in an attempt to gleam some insight into his personal life. What we found was not what you’d want to see out of your typical athlete. Despite his hopeful and charismatic demeanor, Emidas Blair has been dealing with abuse problems for the better part of his life. Knight says that the reason they broke up was his abuse of certain drugs (Editor’s Note: PEDs) that he thought could help him gain an edge over everyone else on the ice. Once this article comes to light, it may only be a matter of time before Blair starts looking for yet another sport to cheat at.


With this information in-hand, we contacted the subject of our article directly – going into the belly of the beast, as it were. We visited Blair in his hometown of Baltimore, Maryland to discern what he thought of these allegations and whether he would come clean. To nobody’s surprise, Blair emphatically denied any involvement with PEDs and called his ex-girlfriend several slurs that may never be repeated. When Blair finally gave in to give us a comment, he had this to say: “I am not a crook. I have never, and will never take anything that improves my performance – except the little blue pill.”


Whether or not you believe that a football star can become an overnight hockey sensation, temper your expectations for the once-mediocre Running Back. Blair may be physically gifted in some respects, but what you see come tryouts and beyond may not entirely be natural. We have turned over our evidence and interviews to the VHL in hopes that this matter be taken seriously, so that Emidas is forced to compete on an even level as the rest of his peers. More on this story as it develops.








Renee Young is the editor-in-chief of the VHL Weekly, and will be working tirelessly to bring you a new edition every week during the VHL season

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Guest Svoboda_3

Content: 3/3

618 words. I loved this and what a great start for you here. Your writing was near flawless and it was structured so well and concise. This flowed well and was interesting to boot. You did a good job capturing the detail. The effort was imminent and in conclusion, this was a great article.

Grammar: 2/2

express = expressed

Appearance: 1/1

Loved it.

Overall: 6/6>>>12/12**


**First 3 Point Tasks are doubled**

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