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Phil the rock Johnson after retirement life


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Phil the rock johnson.  Possibly the most original name in the history of the VHL, retired and has become a bodybuilder.  He idolizes to be like his twin Dwayne the rock Johnson who was born a whopping 4 seconds after him (!?!?).  beginning the journey to absolute muscle mass is a task many fail to accomplish, especially without a goal.  Although he had a goal.  99% muscle 1% Brain.  A task that seemed so impossible not even his brother Dwayne had the nerves or dedication to fulfill.  A task so enduring that not even a human-sized blobfish made out of nuclear pasta does not stand a chance.  BUT! Phil had endured a pain so deep that not even a human-sized blobfish made out of nuclear pasta could endure.  Listening to me and Daniel Jenser talk about european hockey and other european traditions in the LR mindlessly spamming it without the intention to do so.  With the amount of strength he gained from that alone no task nor human-sized blobfishes made of nuclear pasta  in the world could stop him.  He was ready to start his journey to absolute domination in the bodybuilding world.  


Starting out on this journey he was missing the key component needed to obtain this mind blowing goal.  A shake weight, the only piece of equipment you will ever need.  It trains several different key muscles in a fun and useful way.  Thus he went to his local Walmart and picked one up.  Acquiring this component was key for his goal and success in his crazy task to consist of 99% muscle and 1% brain.  His first workout with the shake weight was the most painful, he did simply not have the natural strength to perform such motions.  But he did not give up, hour after hour, day after day it became easier and easier until he simply was too powerful for the beginner weight shake.  He went back to his walmart but this time bought the the "impossible" shake weight instead.  The cashier noticed him and was surprised to see someone actually become too strong for the beginner level, thus he said "Wow! you're a natural at this!" which he replied with "Hard work beats talent!".  After driving home with his brand new shake weight he was too excited to start working out.  So excited that he did not have the patience to  go to the toilet to execute a number 2.  He got addicted.  Hour in and hour out he was shaking and shaking until his body could not tolerate the shaking anymore and thus it was done.  He had acquired absolute muscle domination.Jacking Off Charles Barkley GIF by NBA on TNT(FYI this is a shake weight)



Absolute muscle domination had been obtained and he has become the ultimate being, nothing could stop him, not even a human-sized blobfish made of nuclear pasta.  His brother Dwayne was too scared of this ultimate being and instantly became jealous, he asked Phil for advice and suddenly Phil started walking away, not through the door but through the wall the door was on, he muttered "Shake Weight is the answer to everything" by the sheer amount of coolness Phil had produced was on a level a little too high, his twin Dwayne was left speechless.  He too also wanted to become a professional shake weighter with Phil as his idol.  Phil lived in peace with no one having the nerves to object him nor make him angry.  He later ran for president and won because no one could resist him, all the world problems were solved and Phil was carved into history as the greatest president ever and most importantly, the best shake weighter ever.




Gigachad Meme Origins And Spreading Of Meme About Ernest Khalimov(Couldn't crop image im sorry, my technical skills are too not smart to handle these situations)




@Ricer13- Came up with the shake weight idea

@Phil - Gave me the idea and permission to write about Phil the rock Johnson

@Daniel Janser- We talk about european stuff (Did you know Switzerland doesn't have a capital?)



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     This is a well written media spot with some comedy to it which I love. I’ve heard some stories of retirees doing crazy stuff once they have a ton of free time to fill haha. I like the gif and picture you show as examples to show just how huge the rock got. Maybe just a bigger title with a bold or underline up top. Other then that I love the read. 9.5/10

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