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I joined a forum devoted to College Hockey, and asked for suggestions of teams to check out/root for. Some of the responses were clever(well, I thought so...)



We probably need to know more about this guy before we can recommend a team...

For example...
Are you a racist, hostile and abusive drunken individual? If yes, North Dakota.
Do you get aroused when you see roadkill deer on the side of the road? If yes, Wisconsin.
Are you so arrogant that you can barely function in normal society? If yes, Minnesota.
Do you enjoy burning couches and snorting coke in your free time? If yes, Michigan State.
Do you constantly have the urge to tell people where you went to school? If yes, Michigan.
Are you a huge fan of professional wresting and have a meth lab in your crawl space? If yes, St. Cloud State.
Are you essentially a MN fan, but think popped collars are a "good look". If yes, Boston College.
Do you have social anxiety around women, and get drunk while playing dungeons and dragons? If yes, Michigan Tech.
Are you literally so high right now that you don't know what you're reading? If yes, Colorado College.

And so on...




Are you perplexed by non-binary grading? If so, then root for Brown.
Are you uninterested in national championships? If so, then root for Clarkson.
Are you still smarting from not getting into Bucknell? If so, then root for Colgate.
Do you pine for the pastures and culture of New Zealand, but 50 degrees colder? If so, then root for Cornell.
Are you drunk? If so, then root for Dartmouth.
Are you afraid of crowds? If so, then root for Harvard.
Do you find it uncomfortable to rub shoulders with "social inferiors"? If so, then root for Princeton.
Are you still in high school? If so, then root for Quinnipiac.
Do you find sumps, sewers, and pools of congealed waste attractive? If so, then root for RPI.
Are you arrogant while lacking the slightest reason to be? If so, then root for St. Lawrence.
Do you find comfort in blighted, rundown 19th century industrial landscapes? If so, then root for Union.
Do you live next to a huge minority community but only know black people who are valets? If so, then root for Yale.


I think I'm going to like it over there ;)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Northeastern (for personal reasons) and Wisconsin are my NCAA teams! Like Wisconsin if you want to see a team compete for the title regularly, like Northeastern if you like to get beaten up by BC and BU year in and year out. Fuck BC.

Edited by Kyle
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