16th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards – S81

[DMaximus 1,045]

16th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards – S81

Another exciting regular season has come to a close. That means we can dole out some regular season awards! Welcome everyone to the 16^th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards honoring the highs and lows of S81! Thank you to everyone that reads this.

 

These awards have been created by me. There is no voting process and they are not officially recognized by the VHL Board of Governors. I wrote descriptions for most of these award names in the original award post.

 

For each award, I list the winners from the last 5 seasons. If you want to check out the award winners from every season, use this link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sAZtX3bxVpPTIsKe1rSRVOenH1-iyWzbQEdR9ZvYOdU/edit?usp=sharing

 

I also document the “all-time” record for each category. Of course, by that I mean all-time for the existence of these awards, not all-time, all-time. Clear? Ok, good. Let’s get things underway!

 

 

The Pylon Award (worst +/- rating) – chris foley @Firekiss 

 

Last season was the first season we saw bots get some ice time. However, us humans held strong and still won the Pylon award. This season the bots rose up and destroyed all humans. They were led by D.C. Dragons Defenseman β-DCD D1 who recorded an unconscionable -130. Lucky for everyone reading this, this award show is pro-human. So we’re ignoring the top 10 worst bots and giving the award to the chris foley, who was able to set the all-time record with a -96. A very impressive feat for someone who recorded 77 points this season.

 

All-time record: S81 – chris foley -  -96

 

Last 5 Pylon Award Winners:

Season	Player	+ / -
S81	chris foley	-96
S80	Nathan Steele	-77
S79	Jared Carter	-49
S78	David Tavau	-40
S77	Ove Dyrdahl	-43

 

 

 

The Gandhi Award (least penalty minutes, min 1,000 minutes played) – Brendan Telker @Telkster 

 

A Malmo player wins this award for back-to-back seasons. But simply winning this award for Brendan Telker wasn’t enough. They needed to set the all-time record by committing zero penalties in 2,211 minutes. Congratulations on being the most peaceful player we have ever seen.

 

All-time record: S81 - Brendan Telker - 0 PIM, 2211 Minutes Played

 

Last 5 Gandhi Award Winners:

Season	Player	PIM	Minutes Played
S81	Brendan Telker	0	2211
S80	Jakob Sosa	0	2052
S79	The Terrible Trivium	0	2084
S78	Sven Reikkinen	0	2007
S77	The Terrible Trivium	4	2136

 

 

 

The Major² Award (most major penalties) - Magnus Verlander @Jbeezy76 

 

Verlander was the outright winner with 9 major penalties, all of which were fighting majors. Hopefully next season’s winner will be more creative with how the commit major infractions.

 

All-time Record: S77 – Randy Marsh - 14 Majors

 

Previous Major² Award Winners:

Season	Player	Major Penalties
S81	Magnus Verlander	9
S80	Julian Nousiainen	10
S79	Henry Tucker	11
S78	Bob Tristan	11
S77	Randy Marsh	14

 

 

 

The Timex Award (received most hits) – Lester Green @Smarch 

 

Lester Green had a goal to turn their body black & blue. An odd goal, sure. But you have to give them credit for their dedication to that goal. They set the all-time record by getting hit 381 times!

 

All-time Record: S81 – Lester Green - 381 Hits taken

 

Last 5 Timex Award Winners:

Season	Player	Hits Taken
S81	Lester Green	381
S80	Asher Reinhart	360
S79	Dakota Lamb	310
S78	Aloe Dear	312
S77	Taro Tsujimoto	307

 

 

 

The John Wayne Award (most shots on goal) - Jerome Reinhart @MexicanCow123 

 

The award stays in the Reinhart family. Not to be out done by Asher’s record setting season last year, Jerome shot the puck so many times that people are wondering if there is some outside influence on the game that leads to someone shooting the puck this many times. Jerome’s 711 shots is 74 more than the all-time record set last season!

 

All-time record: S81 – Jerome Reinhart - 711 Shots on goal

 

Last 5 John Wayne Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots on Goal
S81	Jerome Reinhart	711
S80	Asher Reinhart	637
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	614
S78	Muffbeav	531
S77	Lexi Glass	570

 

 

 

The “Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award (most own shots blocked) - Jerome Reinhart @MexicanCow123 

 

Just like the previous award, Jerome shatters the all-time record on this award by having 204 of their shots blocked.

 

All-time record:  S81 – Jerome Reinhart - 204 Own shots blocked

 

Last 5 HtBotB Award Winners:

Season	Player	Own Shots Blocked
S81	Jerome Reinhart	204
S80	Asher Reinhart	169
S79	Groovy Dood	165
S78	Aloe Dear	161
S77	Patrik Laine	150

 

 

 

The “Can’t Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award (most own shots missed) – Jerome Reinhart @MexicanCow123 

 

Jerome destroyed this all-time record as well. 532 shots missed. Congratulations to Jerome for not only taking home all three shot awards, but setting the all-time record in each!

 

All-time record: S81 – Jerome Reinhart - 532 Shots missed

 

Last 5 CHtBotB Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots Missed
S81	Jerome Reinhart	532
S80	Asher Reinhart	455
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	433
S78	Aloe Dear	407
S77	Lexi Glass	424

 

 

 

The New Shin Pads Award (most blocked shots) – Artair McCloud @Hoopydog 

 

If you were on D.C. this season, you were getting the puck shot at you a lot. Artair blocked a league-high 237 shots.

 

All-time record: S79 – Han Jae Kuk - 242 Shots blocked

 

Last 5 New Shin Pads Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots Blocked
S81	Artair McCloud	237
S80	Chicken Wing	235
S79	Han Jae Kuk	242
S78	Robin Galante Nilsson	229
S77	Viktor Alexei Kamenov	223

 

 

The Tired Legs Award (most minutes played) - Artair McCloud @Hoopydog  and Ryan Vidot @Enorama 

 

We’ve only had a tie one other time, back in S72. I blame the award category because there’s no way to make a tie-breaker. The interesting thing this time is that we have a new all-time record set. Congrats to the Dragon teammates.

 

All-time record: S81 - Artair McCloud and Ryan Vidot - 2469 Minutes played

 

Last 5 Tired Legs Award Winners:

Season	Player	Minutes Played
S81	Artair McCloud and Ryan Vidot	2469
S80	Chicken Wing	2333
S79	Han Jae Kuk	2343
S78	Robin Galante Nilsson	2398
S77	Andrew Su	2248

 

 

 

The Snap! Award (most power play minutes) - Bogdan Trunov @qripll 

 

Normally there’s a few people from the same team at the top of this list. That makes sense because you would expect teammates to play on the powerplay together. Not this year, the top 4 players were all on different teams and Trunov’s closest teammate was ranked 11^th. Trunov won this award with 397 minutes on the powerplay.

 

All-time record: S79 - Muffbeav - 454 power play minutes

 

Last 5 Snap! Award Winners:

Season	Player	PP Minutes
S81	Bogdan Trunov	397
S80	Scotty Kaberle	391
S79	Muffbeav	454
S78	Muffbeav	412
S77	Onde Sandstrom	422

 

 

 

The 1 vs. 100 Award (most time on penalty kill) - Sven Eightnine @BarzalGoat 

 

Sven Eightnine took it up to ten with a league-high 319 minutes spent killing penalties. The only thing preventing Sven from taking it to 11 is that this was the lowest number of minutes to ever win this award.

 

All-time record: S79 - Gustislav Nasherov - 447 penalty kill minutes

               

Last 5 1 vs. 100 Award Winners:

Season	Player	PK Minutes
S81	Sven Eightnine	319
S80	Sven Reikkinen	346
S79	Gustislav Nasherov	447
S78	Kevin Wu	368
S77	Viktor Alexei Kamenov	418

 

 

 

The Sean Archer Award (highest face-off win %, min 1,000 faceoffs) – Aloe Dear @Renomitsu

 

Dear takes home the award for the 2^nd time in their career by winning 60,70% of their 3,756 faceoffs.

 

All-time record: S74 - Brock Louth - 63.72% face-offs won

               

Last 5 Sean Archer Award Winners:

Season	Player	Face Off Pct
S81	Aloe Dear	60.70%
S80	Dakota Lamb	60.66%
S79	Pistil Stamen	59.00%
S78	Aloe Dear	57.89%
S77	Christian Mingle	58.42%

 

 

 

The Castor Troy Award (lowest face-off win %, min 1,000 faceoffs) - Otto Numminen @Otto Numminen 

 

Bots from London and D.C occupied the top three spots. The top(bottom) human was Otto Numminen with a fairly impressive, but still league worst, 44.06% face-off win percentage.

 

All-time record: S79 - Gustislav Nasherov – 29.60% face-offs won.

               

Last 5 Castor Troy Award Winners:

Season	Player	Face Off Pct
S81	Otto Numminen	44.06%
S80	Frank Funk Jr	39.19%
S79	Gustislav Nasherov	29.60%
S78	Luc Tessier	42.80%
S77	Pietro Angellini	44.71%

 

 

 

The Triple Deke Award (most penalty shot goals) - Armani Calamari @WildfireMicro 

 

Armani won this award outright with 5 penalty shot goals. You’d have to ask them how they feel about the fact it was on 12 attempts.

 

All-time record: S67 - Veran Dragomir and S78 - Thomas Landry II - 8 penalty shot goals

               

Last 5 Triple Deke Award Winners:

Season	Player	Penalty Shot Goals
S81	Armani Calamari	5
S80	Calvin Hobbes	5
S79	Nathan Perry	5
S78	Thomas Landry II	8
S77	Arthur Dayne	5

 

 

 

The Rocky Award (most fights won) – Pistil Stamen @DMaximus  

 

Pistil and Henry Tucker @NSG tied with 3 fights won. Stamen wins it on the tie-breaker because they didn’t lose a fight (3-0-3) compared to Tucker’s 1 lost fight (3-1-1). The tie-breaker has nothing to do with who runs this award show and if you have a problem with it, come fight me.

 

All-time record: S77,S78 - Riley Knight Gee, S74 - Kristopher McDagg, and S67 ACL TEAR - 6 fights won

               

Last 5 Rocky Award Winners:

Season	Player	Fights Won
S81	Pistil Stamen	3
S80	Jared Carter	4
S79	Calvin Hobbes	5
S78	Riley Knight Gee	6
S77	Riley Knight Gee	6

 

 

 

 

The Glass Joe Award (most fights lost) – Magnus Verlander @Jbeezy76 

 

We have our first repeat winner! Verlander claimed the award last season with an 0-3-2 fight record, this season they faired slightly better with an 0-3-6 record. Still, they led the league with 3 fights lost.

 

All-time record: S74 - Lee Xin and S69 Rusty Shackleford - 5 fights lost

               

Last 5 Glass Joe Award Winners:

Season	Player	Fights Lost
S81	Magnus Verlander	3
S80	Magnus Verlander	3
S79	Rusty Knale	3
S78	Matt thunder	3
S77	Randy Marsh	4

 

 

 

The Stars Award (most stars won) – Justin Lose @youloser1337 

 

A really exciting season for this award. Lose received 28 total stars this season, barely beating out last season’s winner Duncan Idaho @OrbitingDeath (27 total stars). Shout out to the retiring Dominic Gobeil @Domwho led the league with 14 first stars. Special recognition to Artem Tretiak @Molholt for leading the goalies with 12 total stars.

 

All-time record: S76 - Mikko Lahtinen – 34 total stars

               

Last 5 Stars Award Winners:

Season	Player	Total Stars
S81	Justin Lose	28
S80	Duncan Idaho	28
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	32
S78	Robin Winter	26
S77	Jim Bob	26

 

 

 

The “Always a Bridesmaid” Award (most stars without winning 1^st star) – Donny Carter @TheNeonShaman 

 

Donny Carter was given 4 2^nd stars and 4 3^rd stars, but never a 1^st star. 8 stars without a 1^st star led the league.

 

All-time record: S72 - Lewis Dawson and S67 Dan Baillie - 13 stars

               

Last 5 Bridesmaid Award Winners:

Season	Player	Stars
S81	Donny Carter	8
S80	Mistxh J	12
S79	Tim Waters	11
S78	Jim Bob	8
S77	Mikeal Keef	9

 

 

The Biggest Backpack Award (player with the largest difference in points from the rest of their team) - Alex Johnston @Alex 

 

Johnston’s 125 points was 32 more than teammate Magnus Verlander@Jbeezy76

 

All-time record: S79 – Red Lite - 40 points more than nearest teammate

           

Last 5 Backpack Award Winners:

Season	Player	Point Difference from nearest teammate
S81	Alex Johnston	32
S80	Nathan Perry and Julian Nousiainen	22
S79	Red Lite	40
S78	Taro Tsujimoto	22
S77	Groovy Dood	26

 

 

 

The Anniversary Award (rank in total points matches season number) - AJ Williams @ajwllmsn 

 

This is season 81, so the award goes to the player in 81^st place in total points. Congratulations to AJ Williams their 76 points (over a point a game!) is the most ever for an award winner. It really speaks to the depth of the league to see this continually go up in points.

 

Last 5 Anniversary Award Winners:

Season	Player	Points
S81	AJ Williams	76
S80	Frank Funk Jr	71
S79	Tim Waters	64
S78	Erik Killinger	63
S77	Vin Calia	62

 

 

 

 

The Eggshell Award (goalie with most overtime losses) - Papa Emeritus @Beketov 

 

There were three goalies all tied with 9 overtime losses. Alongside our award winner Papa Emeritus was Sirkants Klamasteris @hedgehog337  and Oskar Lindbergh @Doomsday . Papa won on the tiebreaker because they played less games.

 

All-time record: S78 – Calvin Harvey, S75 - Doug Dimmadome, and S71 Jaxx Hextall - 11 OT games lost

 

Previous Eggshell Award Winners:

Season	Player	Overtime Games Lost
S81	Papa Emeritus	9
S80	Aksu Maronen	10
S79	Kevin Malone	8
S78	Calvin Harvey	11
S77	Thadius Sales	7

 

 

 

The Jason Voorhees Award (most PIM by a Goalie) - Barry Taffe @Barry 

 

It had to be tough to be the Chicago goalie season. It’s almost understandable that Taffe would accumulate 23 penalty minutes throughout the season.

 

All-time record: S76 - Doug Dimmadome - 29 PIM

 

Previous Jason Voorhees Award Winners:

Season	Player	PIM
S81	Barry Taffe	23
S80	Tater Tot	14
S79	Jean Pierre Camus	23
S78	Michael Olson	15
S77	Rara Rasputin	10

 

 

  

The Poke Check Award (highest % of penalty shots stopped, min 10 penalty shots against) - Tater Tot @Trunkxolotl 

 

It happened! We have a winner with 100% of penalty shots. An all-time record that will never be topped! Or will it? Will there be a tie-breaker of penalty shots faced? Should Tater Tot be worried about losing the all-time record to a future goalie? Maybe, because they barely qualified for the award, facing the bare minimum of 10 shots. Regardless this is a fantastic accomplishment. Congratulations!

 

All-time record: S81 – Tater Tot – 100% penalty shots stopped (10 shots faced)

 

Previous Poke Check Award Winners:

Season	Player	Penalty Shots Stopped
S81	Tater Tot	100.0%
S80	Kunibuni UnGuri	81.2%
S79	Zamboni Driver	85.7%
S78	Grekkark Gyrfalcon	78.3%
S77	Jacob Carson	80.0%

 

 

 

That wraps it up for this season! Another year, another successful award ceremony! Congratulations and/or condolences to all the winners! As always, please provide any suggestions, insights, or thoughts in the comments. Thank you all for reading and continuing to make this a successful column!

 

 

2000+ words, will claim for 4 weeks

[McWolf 3,111]

Tot breaking all sorts of records this season 

[WildfireMicro 367]

I'll take it lmao

[thadthrasher 1,692]

As always, I love this article. It reads nicely, is broken down in a simple manner, and has great explanations. Thank you for the beautiful formatting, it made it all the more fun to read over! 10/10

[AJW 1,744]

I love this shit, someone put this award on my player page.

[youloser1337 1,049]

5 hours ago, DMaximus said:

The Stars Award (most stars won) – Justin Lose @youloser1337 

 

A really exciting season for this award. Lose received 28 total stars this season, barely beating out last season’s winner Duncan Idaho @OrbitingDeath (27 total stars). Shout out to the retiring Dominic Gobeil @Domwho led the league with 14 first stars. Special recognition to Artem Tretiak @Molholt for leading the goalies with 12 total stars.

 

All-time record: S76 - Mikko Lahtinen – 34 total stars

               

Last 5 Stars Award Winners:

Season	Player	Total Stars
S81	Justin Lose	28
S80	Duncan Idaho	28
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	32
S78	Robin Winter	26
S77	Jim Bob	26

[BarzalGoat 728]

6 hours ago, DMaximus said:

The 1 vs. 100 Award (most time on penalty kill) - Sven Eightnine @BarzalGoat 

 

@Banackockyou let this happen 

[ROOKIE745 571]

10 seasons later it's still nice to see Jaxx Hextall's name up their, no one has managed to beat his record yet but a few have tied it.

[DMaximus 1,045]

Week 2 claim. Thanks everyone for the comments!

[Arce 742]

Wow, great read! the The “Can’t Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award name made me chuckle. I love articles like this, a lot of creativity. You can tell the work and research you put into it. These are categories not many, if anyone tracks or looks at. You broke them down, added tables for the leaders and then put some detail behind each winner. Many of these could be considered VHL Wall of Shame worthy. The fact this has been going on since S66 is really cool, and I hope to see it more in the future. Maybe my player will one day find his way on one of these lists! 10/10

[Firekiss 25]

at least i can win something lol

[Trunkxolotl 150]

On 1/9/2022 at 10:08 AM, McWolf said:

Tot breaking all sorts of records this season 

lmao apparently

[DMaximus 1,045]

Week 3 claim

[DMaximus 1,045]

week 4 claim