17th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards – S82

[DMaximus 1,045]

17th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards – S82

Another exciting regular season has come to a close. That means we can dole out some regular season awards! Welcome everyone to the 16^th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards honoring the highs and lows of S82! Thank you to everyone that reads this.

 

These awards have been created by me. There is no voting process and they are not officially recognized by the VHL Board of Governors. I wrote descriptions for most of these award names in the original award post.

 

For each award, I list the winners from the last 5 seasons. If you want to check out the award winners from every season, use this link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sAZtX3bxVpPTIsKe1rSRVOenH1-iyWzbQEdR9ZvYOdU/edit?usp=sharing

 

I also document the “all-time” record for each category. Of course, by that I mean all-time for the existence of these awards, not all-time, all-time. Clear? Ok, good. Let’s get things underway!

 

 

The Pylon Award (worst +/- rating) – creed @assassin6898

 

As the sim engine is getting stretched beyond its limits, we are seeing records just get completely shattered. Last season, chris foley shocked the world by destroying the all-time record for worst +/- by 19. That is absolutely nothing compared to what creed did this season. creed set a new all-time record with a -156! Let this be a warning to all lowercase-only named players.

 

Having done this for as long as I have, you see records come and go. Normally I’m hesitant to use absolute terms, but this case is extreme, so I’ll make this claim: We will not see this record broken, ever.

 

All-time record: S82 – creed -  -156

 

Last 5 Pylon Award Winners:

Season	Player	+ / -
S82	creed	-156
S81	chris foley	-96
S80	Nathan Steele	-77
S79	Jared Carter	-49
S78	David Tavau	-40

 

 

 

The Gandhi Award (least penalty minutes, min 1,000 minutes played) – Omi Aberg @osens 

 

For the first time in 5 seasons, there were no players with 0 PIM. Omi peacefully wins the award with 2 PIM in 2,132 minutes played. No tie-breaker needed as no one else had only 2 PIM.

 

All-time record: S81 - Brendan Telker - 0 PIM, 2211 Minutes Played

 

Last 5 Gandhi Award Winners:

Season	Player	PIM	Minutes Played
S82	Omi Aberg	2	2132
S81	Brendan Telker	0	2211
S80	Jakob Sosa	0	2052
S79	The Terrible Trivium	0	2084
S78	Sven Reikkinen	0	2007

 

 

 

The Major² Award (most major penalties) - Owen Taylor @Owen Taylor 

 

Newcomer Owen Taylor showed they are not afraid of spending some time alone in the penalty box. They committed 12 major penalties for a total of 60 PIM from those majors. That is more PIM just in major penalties than Taylor had all of last season.

 

All-time Record: S77 – Randy Marsh - 14 Majors

 

Previous Major² Award Winners:

Season	Player	Major Penalties
S82	Owen Taylor	12
S81	Magnus Verlander	9
S80	Julian Nousiainen	10
S79	Henry Tucker	11
S78	Bob Tristan	11

 

 

 

The Timex Award (received most hits) – Bogdan Trunov @qripll

 

Trunov learned first-hand what the cost of being great is. In their case, it’s getting hit. A lot. More than anyone has ever been hit before, in fact. Trunov got hit an all time high 408 times. That’s 65 more than the next closest player (Guy Lambert @Spartakiller2) and 115 more than 3^rd place (Jonathan Ori @ROOKIE745). Amazing.

 

All-time Record: S82 – Bogdan Trunov - 408 Hits taken

 

Last 5 Timex Award Winners:

Season	Player	Hits Taken
S82	Bogdan Trunov	408
S81	Lester Green	381
S80	Asher Reinhart	360
S79	Dakota Lamb	310
S78	Aloe Dear	312

 

 

 

The John Wayne Award (most shots on goal) - Jerome Reinhart @MexicanCow123 

 

Back-to-back wins for Jerome and a three-peat for the Reinhart family. Jerome bested their all-time record from last season by 2 shots, totaling 713 shots on goal. Special recognition to runner-up Taylor Mourning @scoop, who recorded exactly 666 shots on goal.

 

All-time record: S82 – Jerome Reinhart - 713 Shots on goal

 

Last 5 John Wayne Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots on Goal
S82	Jerome Reinhart	713
S81	Jerome Reinhart	711
S80	Asher Reinhart	637
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	614
S78	Muffbeav	531

 

 

 

The “Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award (most own shots blocked) - Taylor Mourning @scoop 

 

Last season Jerome Reinhart dominated all three shot award categories, setting all-time records in each. They were expected to runaway with each award again this season. Taylor Mourning had different ideas. They had 195 of their own shots blocked to win this award. That’s 10 more than runner-up, Jerome Reinhart.

 

All-time record:  S81 – Jerome Reinhart - 204 Own shots blocked

 

Last 5 HtBotB Award Winners:

Season	Player	Own Shots Blocked
S82	Taylor Mourning	195
S81	Jerome Reinhart	204
S80	Asher Reinhart	169
S79	Groovy Dood	165
S78	Aloe Dear	161

 

 

 

The “Can’t Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award (most own shots missed) – Jerome Reinhart @MexicanCow123 

 

Jerome wins 2 out of 3 shot awards claiming this one by missing the net with 489 shots this season.

 

All-time record: S81 – Jerome Reinhart - 532 Shots missed

 

Last 5 CHtBotB Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots Missed
S82	Jerome Reinhart	489
S81	Jerome Reinhart	532
S80	Asher Reinhart	455
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	433
S78	Aloe Dear	407

 

 

 

The New Shin Pads Award (most blocked shots) – creed @assassin6898

 

creed did quite a number of the Pylon Award earlier, that is nothing compared to what they did with this category. Previous all-time high shots blocked was 242. creed blocked an inconceivable 460 shots! That is 218 more than the previous all-time high. That difference itself would have won the award for a handful of seasons. Unbelievable. I know I said this on the Pylon award, but I really mean it now. This record will never be broken.

 

All-time record: S82 – creed - 460 Shots blocked

 

Last 5 New Shin Pads Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots Blocked
S82	creed	460
S81	Artair McCloud	237
S80	Chicken Wing	235
S79	Han Jae Kuk	242
S78	Robin Galante Nilsson	229

 

 

The Tired Legs Award (most minutes played) - Chicken Wing @chikn 

 

After missing out on the award last season, Chicken Wing, made it known how much they need to be on the ice. Maybe that’s because of food safety issues as well. I don’t know. Regardless, the Warsaw coaches listened and sent Chicken Wing out on the ice for an all-time high 2,511 minutes. An average of 34.89 minutes per game. In related news, Chicken Wing announced their retirement in the off-season.

 

All-time record: S82 – Chicken Wing – 2,512 Minutes played

 

Last 5 Tired Legs Award Winners:

Season	Player	Minutes Played
S82	Chicken Wing	2512
S81	Artair McCloud and Ryan Vidot	2469
S80	Chicken Wing	2333
S79	Han Jae Kuk	2343
S78	Robin Galante Nilsson	2398

 

 

 

The Snap! Award (most power play minutes) - Tyler Reinhart @Zetterberg 

 

Tyler spent 397 minutes on the powerplay, the exact same amount that won the award last season.

 

All-time record: S79 - Muffbeav - 454 power play minutes

 

Last 5 Snap! Award Winners:

Season	Player	PP Minutes
S82	Tyler Reinhart	397
S81	Bogdan Trunov	397
S80	Scotty Kaberle	391
S79	Muffbeav	454
S78	Muffbeav	412

 

 

 

The 1 vs. 100 Award (most time on penalty kill) - Hulk Hogan 2 @Hogan 

 

Hulk Hogan 2 must have been following their own advice about eating vitamins because they survived a whopping 359 minutes on the powerplay this season, Brother.

 

All-time record: S79 - Gustislav Nasherov - 447 penalty kill minutes

               

Last 5 1 vs. 100 Award Winners:

Season	Player	PK Minutes
S82	Hulk Hogan 2	359
S81	Sven Eightnine	319
S80	Sven Reikkinen	346
S79	Gustislav Nasherov	447
S78	Kevin Wu	368

 

 

 

The Sean Archer Award (highest face-off win %, min 1,000 faceoffs) – Pistil Stamen @DMaximus  

 

Pistil Stamen takes home the award for the 2^nd time in their career by winning 62,10% of their 3,517 faceoffs. A strong showing for their final season in the league.

 

All-time record: S74 - Brock Louth - 63.72% face-offs won

               

Last 5 Sean Archer Award Winners:

Season	Player	Face Off Pct
S82	Pistil Stamen	62.10%
S81	Aloe Dear	60.70%
S80	Dakota Lamb	60.66%
S79	Pistil Stamen	59.00%
S78	Aloe Dear	57.89%

 

 

 

The Castor Troy Award (lowest face-off win %, min 1,000 faceoffs) - Eeli Rantanen @Jolline 

 

Eeli won one for the humans by beating out two of their bot teammates and only winning 30.47% of their 2,790 faceoffs taken.

 

All-time record: S79 - Gustislav Nasherov – 29.60% face-offs won.

               

Last 5 Castor Troy Award Winners:

Season	Player	Face Off Pct
S82	Eeli Rantanen	30.47%
S81	Otto Numminen	44.06%
S80	Frank Funk Jr	39.19%
S79	Gustislav Nasherov	29.60%
S78	Luc Tessier	42.80%

 

 

 

The Triple Deke Award (most penalty shot goals) - Baby Bob @Baby Boomer 

 

We had a four-way tie for this award. Baby Bob won the award on the tie-breaker of having less attempts. Here’s the rundown:

Baby Bob – 4 goals on 5 attempts.

Jon Webber ( @Webberj ) – 4 goals on 6 attempts.

Jerome Reinhart ( @MexicanCow123 )– 4 goals on 8 attempts.

Nathan Perry ( @tinafrombobsburgers) – 4 goals on 12 attempts.

 

All-time record: S67 - Veran Dragomir and S78 - Thomas Landry II - 8 penalty shot goals

               

Last 5 Triple Deke Award Winners:

Season	Player	Penalty Shot Goals
S82	Baby Bob	4
S81	Armani Calamari	5
S80	Calvin Hobbes	5
S79	Nathan Perry	5
S78	Thomas Landry II	8

 

 

 

The Rocky Award (most fights won) – Owen Taylor @Owen Taylor 

 

Owen won this award outright by winning 4 fights, earning a total record of 4-2-6. Shoutout to Henry Tucker @NSG who had the best undefeated record going 3-0-2 in fights this season.

 

All-time record: S77,S78 - Riley Knight Gee, S74 - Kristopher McDagg, and S67 ACL TEAR - 6 fights won

               

Last 5 Rocky Award Winners:

Season	Player	Fights Won
S82	Owen Taylor	4
S81	Pistil Stamen	3
S80	Jared Carter	4
S79	Calvin Hobbes	5
S78	Riley Knight Gee	6

 

 

 

 

The Glass Joe Award (most fights lost) – Vasile Lamb @dlamb 

 

There was a 7-way tie with players losing two fights. Vasile Lamb wins the tie-breaker because all they did was lose fights, going 0-2-0. Everyone else tied at least one fight.

 

All-time record: S74 - Lee Xin and S69 Rusty Shackleford - 5 fights lost

               

Last 5 Glass Joe Award Winners:

Season	Player	Fights Lost
S82	Vasile Lamb	2
S81	Magnus Verlander	3
S80	Magnus Verlander	3
S79	Rusty Knale	3
S78	Matt thunder	3

 

 

 

The Stars Award (most stars won) – Taylor Mourning @scoop 

 

Mourning had a fantastic year, leading the way with 33 total stars, one shy of the all-time mark. They also led the league with 17 first stars. Congratulations to Tobias Reinhart @Spaz for leading all goalies with 13 total stars.

 

All-time record: S76 - Mikko Lahtinen – 34 total stars

               

Last 5 Stars Award Winners:

Season	Player	Total Stars
S82	Taylor Mourning	33
S81	Justin Lose	28
S80	Duncan Idaho	28
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	32
S78	Robin Winter	26

 

 

 

The “Always a Bridesmaid” Award (most stars without winning 1^st star) – Gustav Hjalmarsson @McLovin 

 

In their final season Gustav Hjalmarsson earned 9 total stars (2 2^nd and 7 3^rd) to win this award. That should give them ample time to look into the mirror and ask “why not me?”

 

All-time record: S72 - Lewis Dawson and S67 Dan Baillie - 13 stars

               

Last 5 Bridesmaid Award Winners:

Season	Player	Stars
S82	Gustav Hjalmarsson	9
S81	Donny Carter	8
S80	Mistxh J	12
S79	Tim Waters	11
S78	Jim Bob	8

 

 

The Biggest Backpack Award (player with the largest difference in points from the rest of their team) - Taro Tsujimoto @Gustav 

 

Taro ends his career leading a team harder than anyone else has led a team before. Taro scored 52 more points than their closest teammate, Sigard Petrenko @SlapshotDragon. That is the all-time record! This is Taro’s second time winning this award, making them the first repeat winner.

 

All-time record: S82 – Taro Tsujimoto - 52 points more than nearest teammate

           

Last 5 Backpack Award Winners:

Season	Player	Point Difference from nearest teammate
S82	Taro Tsujimoto	52
S81	Alex Johnston	32
S80	Nathan Perry and Julian Nousiainen	22
S79	Red Lite	40
S78	Taro Tsujimoto	22

 

 

 

The Anniversary Award (rank in total points matches season number) - Jakub Brozik @Viper 

 

This is season 82, so the award goes to the player in 82^nd place in total points. Congratulations to Jakub Brozik! They recorded 71 points this season, good enough for 82^nd place.

 

Last 5 Anniversary Award Winners:

Season	Player	Points
S82	Jakub Brozik	71
S81	AJ Williams	76
S80	Frank Funk Jr	71
S79	Tim Waters	64
S78	Erik Killinger	63

 

 

 

 

The Eggshell Award (goalie with most overtime losses) - Sirkants Klamasteris @hedgehog337 

 

Sirkants Klamasteris finished tied for this award last season, but lost on a tie-breaker. They left no doubt this season and won the award outright with 11 overtime losses. That ties them for the all-time record. No longer able to handle the pressure of overtime, Sirkants retired at the end of the season.

 

All-time record: S82 - Sirkants Klamasteris, S78 – Calvin Harvey, S75 - Doug Dimmadome, and S71 Jaxx Hextall - 11 OT games lost

 

Previous Eggshell Award Winners:

Season	Player	Overtime Games Lost
S82	Sirkants Klamasteris	11
S81	Papa Emeritus	9
S80	Aksu Maronen	10
S79	Kevin Malone	8
S78	Calvin Harvey	11

 

 

 

The Jason Voorhees Award (most PIM by a Goalie) - Thadius Sales @thadthrasher 

 

Thadius led all goalies with 18 PIM. No word on if the fear instilled by all these penalties helped them have a great season. Thadius Sales is riding out on the high note of this award, as their retirement was recently announced .

 

All-time record: S76 - Doug Dimmadome - 29 PIM

 

Previous Jason Voorhees Award Winners:

Season	Player	PIM
S82	Thadius Sales	18
S81	Barry Taffe	23
S80	Tater Tot	14
S79	Jean Pierre Camus	23
S78	Michael Olson	15

 

 

  

The Poke Check Award (highest % of penalty shots stopped, min 10 penalty shots against) - Tater Tot @Trunkxolotl 

 

Tater Tot showed they were the main course by backing up their amazing season last year with another fantastic season. They led the league stopping 88.2% of the 17 penalty shots they faced.

 

All-time record: S81 – Tater Tot – 100% penalty shots stopped (10 shots faced)

 

Previous Poke Check Award Winners:

Season	Player	Penalty Shots Stopped
S82	Tater Tot	88.2%
S81	Tater Tot	100.0%
S80	Kunibuni UnGuri	81.2%
S79	Zamboni Driver	85.7%
S78	Grekkark Gyrfalcon	78.3%

 

 

 

That wraps it up for this season! Another year, another successful award ceremony! Congratulations and/or condolences to all the winners! As always, please provide any suggestions, insights, or thoughts in the comments. Thank you all for reading and continuing to make this a successful column!

 

 

2000+ words, will claim for 4 weeks.

[Gustav 6,086]

That's actually really interesting--I knew I was doing well but had no idea Taro was all-time backpack material. 

[Banackock 7,630]

So based off this, one single meta player on meta averaged 19.2 shot attempts per game? Or does my math suck? 
 

489 missed, 185 blocked, 713 taken. 
 

9.9 per game is still bonkers. I gotta be wrong here, ok???
 

 

Edited March 14, 2022 by Banackock

[ROOKIE745 570]

Damn, I thought I had finally won something on here since Hextall's rookie season XD

[Shindigs 1,771]

8 hours ago, Banackock said:

So based off this, one single meta player on meta averaged 19.2 shot attempts per game? Or does my math suck? 
 

489 missed, 185 blocked, 713 taken. 
 

9.9 per game is still bonkers. I gotta be wrong here, ok???
 

 

Sadly not wrong. Thank god that era is over come next season.

 

8 hours ago, Gustav said:

That's actually really interesting--I knew I was doing well but had no idea Taro was all-time backpack material. 

My fantasy prediction that you'd pop off in Seattle was on point, sadly it was the only thing on point, so I still finished 3rd.

[DMaximus 1,045]

week 2 claim

[thadthrasher 1,692]

9 hours ago, DMaximus said:

The Jason Voorhees Award (most PIM by a Goalie) - Thadius Sales @thadthrasher 

Awesome! Of course I instilled fear into the hearts and minds of my opponents! 

[DMaximus 1,045]

week 3 claim

[Doomsday 4,033]

Every so often, we are graced with an article worth turning off Dark Mode to be able to read it. This is one of those articles. 

 

Look forward to reading these every season, great stuff!

[Dom 1,440]

On 3/14/2022 at 9:48 AM, thadthrasher said:

Awesome! Of course I instilled fear into the hearts and minds of my opponents! 

Goon!!

[DMaximus 1,045]

Week 4 claim