What will Payne do without BoJo?

[Thunder 746]

Everyone in the hockey world knows the success of Brian “The Payne Train” Payne was a direct result of his association with Bo Johanssen.  There is no argument that BoJo kept Payne in shape, sharpening his hockey skills, and most importantly out of trouble, during their time together at Bratislava.  But now that Johanssen will be championing the defense of the Chicago Phoenix, Payne will be without his role model as he heads to Warsaw to try to fit in with the solid veterans on the Predators.

 

Several questions came up as Payne packed for his new club.  Will Payne have the discipline to build his player to the competitive level needed in the VHL?  Will his playful tactics of spending nights in the local pubs drinking whiteclaws be a detriment to his future with the Predators?  Will he lay in bed whimpering about the loss of his best friend Johanssen?  And most importantly, will Payne be able to deliver the Payne Train against BoJo when they compete against each other in the league?  Each of these questions are answered below.

 

Payne is going to struggle with his player build as he sees himself as a clutch fighter and bruiser, with a major responsibility of enforcer and antagonist.  However, he will soon learn that in the V, there is little room for a bully with little man syndrome.  Perhaps “Chaparito” would suit him for a new nickname as it fits him much better.  Payne’s playing time will most definitely be affected if he fails to adapt to the team’s rigid standards and perhaps Payne can contribute in another way, such as filling the gatorade bottles.

 

Rumor has it that the Mark Anthony Group has ramped up advertising in Warsaw, promoting the White Claw gluten free drink, and has applied for naming rights to the new Warsaw Hockey Arena.  Brian Payne is the new spokesman for the liquid favorite of generation xox.  This solidifies the notion that Payne will be a nightlife celebrity in Warsaw, which may suit him well if he doesn’t perform on the ice.

 

Payne’s new Warsaw flat his full of Bo Johanssen memorabilia.  Posters on the wall, signed jerseys hanging in the closet, BoJo bobbleheads on the nightstand, all to comfort the new defenseman after losing his buddy to another team.  Payne wakes each morning to an encouraging recording from Bo Johanssen, giving Payne the needed energy to get up and make his way to the bathroom where he has a dirty jockstrap hanging on the shower rod.  Some say that’s a little too much, but to Payne, that piece of Johanssen’s fabric is his therapy dog and gets him through another day.

 

There is no doubt Payne can deliver punishment on the ice and his stats will show that he can be successful in the V against any opponent.  His prowess for the puck and for delivering powerful hits against unsuspecting forwards will most definitely be a crowd pleaser.  With one exception, and a piece of advice for the Warsaw GM.  Do not put Payne against the same line as Bojo Johanssen, because Payne’s loyalty to his friend and mentor are too strong for a guy like the Payne Train to overcome.

 

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[Shindigs 1,771]

12 hours ago, Thunder said:

where he has a dirty jockstrap hanging on the shower rod