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First Impression [6/6]


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Day Fou®


The Helsinki Titans have a new boss as of last week. The Titans had high expectations going into Season 41, especially after making multiple trades to acquire veteran players over the past two off-seasons. The team currently sits with a record of 37-18-6, which is no where near where management expected the team. General manager STZ submitted his resignation letter as he was feeling a lot of pressure from the Titans president to win more and so he could focus on the duties of being a father to the heiress of the entire Titans organization.


The Titans were quick to name a replacement with Donnie Draper getting the unanimous vote of confidence from upper management and team president. With the move the team hopes that it can continue down the same path to success, but to take a detour on how things have been managed over the past five seasons. When anyone steps into a new role or position they want to leave a good first impression on their workers and their boss. Donnie Draper wants everyone to know he was the right choice for the manager job and he got started right away.




As we all know by now, there have been no games played since Wednesday of last week. On Thursday the Titans arrived at Hartwall Arena to play host to the Calgary Wranglers. Everything seemed to be running normally until the game was postponed for an hour, then two, and then indefinitely. The root cause to the delay was a lack of referees and officials to work the scoreboard, penalty box doors and to flick the goal lamps on. After waiting for three hours the Wranglers left Hartwall Arena and went back to their hotel, where they have been stationed ever since Thursday.

However, in the Titans locker room there was a much different scenario.


After wait for five hours in the Titans locker room it was was obvious the game was not going to be played tonight. At 1:35am local time, on now Friday morning, the full Titan team was still in the locker room, when general manager Donnie Draper decided to make an appearance. He addressed the players and told them they would be waiting until the game started and that they couldn't leave the dressing room area. You see, Draper wanted to make a good first impression and he did this by showing that his team was ready to play whenever the officials arrived. Fast forward to Sunday afternoon and the Titans are still in the locker room waiting for their game against the Calgary Wranglers. As the clock ticks forward the team has been waiting for nearly 72 hours and Draper is still confident that the game will start shortly.




Nothing good can happen when you stick a bunch of people into a confined space, and then tell them they cannot leave, for three days straight. After the first five hours the team all voted to lock the stinky Oskars Harumpf in the showers with his, now infamous pants. Veteran player Willem Janssen has been sitting in his stall now for 48 hours straight and I don't think he's blinked in that time as he stares into space, he looks like he could snap at any moment. Chris Raymond has been sleeping the entire time, we actually aren't even sure if he's alive at this point. In the corner is King Czar doing what appears to be free style yoga as he mumbles something about needing his double-double.




In the middle of the room, Jackson Miller and Tyson Stokes flipped over the garbage bin and put the whiteboard on top of it and have been playing tic-tac-toe for the past 24 hours, so far there has been 784 draws and no winner. Jake Wylde has been taking selfies on snapchat this whole time and whenever he tries to get a duo selfie with someone else he is promptly denied. Every few hours Don Draper stands up and exclaims "I've got it!" and then talks passionately about some advertising scheme from the 60's like anyone here actually cares. James Faraday is taking full advantage of the only working power outlet, as he has hogged it to power his phone this whole time as he plays clash of clans, it wouldn't surprise me if he's spent over a grand on gems so far.


Hopefully the game starts soon.

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  • Senior Admin

Content: 3/3

Good jerb on yer article here Kim Jong Higg, I am pleased to be at the helm of the great ship that is the Titans and I shall steer it to open waters. 


Grammar: 2/2

You go girl


Appearance: 1/1

Draper picture: check


Overall: 6/6

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