Claimed:Slumdawg Millionaire [Final 6/6]

[jRuutu 2,431]

 

Once upon a time not so long ago i used to work in a local supermarket. Times were tough. Barely had any money to buy equipment or buy anything else. We had to actually pay a fee in Finland in order to even play hockey. Some kind of a license if i remember correctly. My parents usually payed everything. Sometimes i gave them money but life back then was not easy.  I remember when i used to break my stick but did not have any way to buy a new one. I spent a month playing without a stick. After that i used to just shoot wrist shots so they would not break so easily. Good thing was that now my wrist shot is quite good , same goes to my skating. Now i can look back and laugh but back then it was not fun when everybody else had sticks and you were the only one who had to just skate around the ice. I played in a junior team who had some extra sticks but you could only use them in the practice. Three times a week for few hours at a time. Outside that you had to buy your own sticks.  

 

When i signed my first contract back in Finland things got easier, had my own place to live and some money. Not much but at least i could buy few sticks here and there.  I only played one season in Finland before moving to Canada. It was a massive step and risk. Me and my family had to pretty much sell everything that we had.  Luckily i got drafted into VHLM. I knew i had a change to get drafted but everything is possible in hockey. I don´t know what would of happened if i did not get drafted then.  Now one year later i have a VHL contract!  Can you believe that? in 2 years from rags to riches. I don´t want to start bragging but i have a cool 2 mils on my bank account. 

 

 

Last week i went and bought a BMW. I can see how Duddy stares at my brand new whip when i drive around the parking lot. Part of me is amused but another part of me is little bit unhappy , it´s been raining a lot lately here in Ottawa. I´m inside a car and the correct thing to do is to ask if Duddy needs a ride? but instead i just drive around and wave at Duddy when he stands in the rain.  

It´s not all fun and games when you got money , you need to be careful. People are desperate and they might take what is yours in order to survive. Not enough jobs for everybody so the  times are tough. Just like they were for me and my family back in Finland.

 

Things are going nicely and should keep on going nicely. Just need to take one day at a time and enjoy.

 

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Content: 3/3 - Awesome stuff. I enjoyed the read and it was pretty funny. Leaving Duddy out in the rain, good call.

Grammar: 1.5/2 -

 

"i used to work" - I needs to be capitalized. This happens multiple times in the article.

"usually payed everything" - paid

"things got easier, had my own place to live" - things got easier, and I had

"I knew i had a change" - chance

"in 2 years from rags" - In must start with a capital as it begins the sentence

"if Duddy needs a ride? but instead" - needs a ride, but instead

Appearance: 1/1 - Good!

Overall: 5.5/6

[Kylrad 178]

Content 3/3  nice article,

 

Grammar 1.5/2 Dollar got most of it but not capitalizing I was a major problem, there was also quite a few commas after a few spaces on a word. EX) good  , 

 

Appearance 1/1 Looks good

 

Overall 5.5/6

 

Final6 6/6

[CowboyinAmerica 2,844]

Claimed