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Making A Movie With VHL Talent



NEW YORK - So it's Thursday night and I'm an incredibly bored individual tonight. So I'm going to do something that apparently many members of the VHL seem to enjoy: thinking of an incredibly absurd premise and running goddamn wild with it. So tonight, I will be coming up with an idea for a movie, but I cannot use real actors to cast the parts. Instead, I must use players and personalities from the VHL (and VHLM). Interesting, right? Well, I'm only just getting started.




Set in a VHL city (New York, Riga, Davos, etc.), a vicious killer has been making headlines with a spree of rather disgusting, despicable crimes. Worst of all, the killer is openly mocking the police, seeming to always be one step ahead of them and more or less making a mockery out of the force. Ideally, this gives the commissioner the idea that of course the killer must be one of their own (holy shit!). But how will he be able to investigate his officers without alerting the killer? He'll have to assemble a team of his very best, most trusted men in order to keep their department from unraveling whilst the perpetrator runs amok.




The Commissioner: Victor Alfredsson



Really, did you see anyone else getting this part? Victor is perfect for this part, with him able to constantly delegate menial tasks to other people, vent off about taking a loose cannon's badge and, of course, being too old for this shit. 


Now, the commissioner can assemble a smorgasbord of cop movie cliches for his team, those being the seasoned veteran, the no-nonsense cop, the loose cannon, and the rookie.


The Seasoned Veteran: Mitch Higgins



With his professional attitude, a proven track record of getting things done and being a team player for the VHL, Higgins is the absolute personification of a seasoned veteran for the commissioner's team. He'd be the guy calling the shots when the team is in a situation where the commissioner doesn't want to get his hands dirty.


The No-Nonsense Cop: Joey Kendrick



While he is certainly one for humor from time to time, when it gets down to business, Joey Kendrick doesn't fuck around. His serious, unflappable manner is more than a match for criminals who have the information he wants. He will consistently have conflicts with the loose cannon.


The Loose Cannon: Sergey Brovalenko



In regards to protocol, the only protocol is that there is none. Brovalenko gets results his way and he simply does not care what people think in regards to how he gets those results. He will undoubtedly shoot several perps he did not need to, along with coming up with creative, likely illegal ways to get the perps he didn't shoot to talk to him.


The Rookie: Davey Jones



Hand-picked by the no-nonsense cop to join the squad, this rookie has shown some excellent skills while at the academy, but is untested in the field and has some growing up to do. Despite the danger the loose cannon presents to derailing his development, the rookie respects his peers and shows a constant desire to improve.


Now, we need some other characters too, don't we?


The Killer: Mikey Blade



Come on, that's totally the name of a killer. Not to mention he's a devious son of a bitch who nearly loophole'd his way out of playing for the team that drafted him. Lock your doors around this madman.


The Enforcer: Xin Xie Xiao



He's 6'8, 250 lbs and fulfills the role of a token minority as well. Absolutely no contest for a guy leading a pack of thugs in a shootout/fight scene with our heroes.


The Dispatcher: Motherfuckin' Noah



Because someone with a soul-crushing job needs to have an unexpected sense of humor to add comic relief from a completely unexpected angle, right?


Guy Arrested For Public Drunkenness: Jardy Buncleworth



Because I'm contractually obligated to make at least one joke about Jardy in every media spot I write.


Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, who are helping lots of young singles meet every day. He enjoys engaging in torrid love affairs with spambots, watching GI Joe PSAs and saving the children, but not the British children.

Edited by Doomsday
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Content: 3/3 I really loved the way this was set up. My man Davey as the rook and Kendrick as the No-Nonsense cop. He really does get it done. Of course Vic as TLJ makes the most perfect portrayal of his username/demeanor.

Grammar: 2/2 I couldn't really notice anything to deduct points

Presentation: 1/1 Aw Yiss


Grade: 6/6

Edited by Da Trifecta
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Content: 3/3 - A highly entertaining piece. I especially enjoyed who was casted as the no-nonsense cop and the loose cannon. If this becomes some sort of media spot series, I'd be willing to bet a good some of TPE that it would be highly enjoyable.


Grammar: 2/2 - Purfect.


Appearance: 1/1 - Always.


Overall: 6/6


FINAL: 6/6

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