The Reign Assassination: "Rolling Forward"

[BluObieZ 1,125]

INT/EXT-BUCKINGHAM CASTLE-MORNING

It is morning at Buckingham castle, the birds are chirping, British fucks are drinking their tea ruining their teeth, the stupidly dressed guards are out front “guarding” that old hag in the castle. We see a man running down the hall towards large double doors. The man kicks the doors open without even knocking. An old fuck of a woman lays in bed heavily snoring flanked by two naked men chained to the bed. As he approaches the bed he can see a pile of cocaine on the bedside table. He begins to shake her awake. As she sits up we see that it’s the queen. She looks at him half asleep and half mad at him.

 

Queen

George you sodding idiot what are you doing in my room at this ungodly hour?

 

She leans to the table and does a line of cocaine

 

George

Ma’am Sir Covington is filing a lawsuit against you and is coming after the crown

 

Queen

Oh that buffoon? I aint shook

 

The Queen lays back down flanked by the two naked men. George throws his hands up in frustration

 

George

Maybe just maybe you should give a fuck. He actually has a legit case to take it the throne

 

The Queen sits up and slaps George hard across the face.

 

Queen

You come in here after my cocaine and hooker party like some rude American would and you expect me to give a pussy fart that the idiot Covington wants my throne? The throne is useless, no one respects it. If he wants it he can have it

 

INT-BELLAGIO VILLA-NIGHT

SWC3 is throwing his annual Snow White Puck Slut Bash. Naked women are walking around the villa as SWC3 sits on a couch coked out of his mind. His lawyer Martin Moneydale is trying to talk to him but it’s either he doesn’t care or he doesn’t hear him.

 

Martin

Covi you need to get into this. You can’t just go at the queen of England all coked out of your mind

 

SWC3 smacks a girl’s ass as she passes by before he gets up and walks outside so the audience can see the unbelievable view of the Las Vegas Strip. He raises his arms to the air and starts to shout

SWC3

I AM SIR WILLIAM COVINGTON THE FUCKING THIRD AND I AM YOUR KING! BOW TO ME YOU WORTHLESS PEASANTS!

 

Martin walks up to him

 

Martin

Its things like this that will make you look bad in front of the jury’s eyes. If they think you are unfit to be King they will not rule for you. You need to make them believe that you are a fit and just King.

 

SWC3 turns and looks at Martin with a smirk on his face

 

SWC3

What if I fake it? What if I make those losers think I am this nice guy but you and I know that I am not

 

Martin

The world knows it, but if you make it look like you changed your ways then maybe they will believe you

 

SWC3

Maybe’s are maybe not good because a maybe can be maybe bad. Do you get what I am saying maybe?

 

Martin shakes his head

 

Martin

Maybe?

 

SWC3

Then maybe I am happy the you maybe understand my words my good man

 

INT-OFFICE-MORNING

George, The Queen and her lawyer are sitting in an office. The Queen is clearly hungover and getting over a cocaine high. She is wearing sunglasses in a dark office. Her lawyer Sir Oliver Brown looks at her then at George

 

Oliver

Is she even here?

 

The Queen attempts to stand up but falls over

 

Queen

I’m here! Can’t you see me?

 

She attempts to grab the carpet that she is laying on and throw it at him but cannot because she is on it. So she begins to roll herself up in it

 

Oliver

You know it’s things like this that makes the people hate the monarchy

 

Queen

Oli look at me, I’m rolling a blunt! A queen blunt

 

The Queen laughs uncontrollably as she rolls herself up in the carpet

 

Oliver

I looked over the papers that they filed and they have a good case. They claim that Covington and his family were screwed out of throne because they were forced to give it up when they did not want to. Also they say that when they tried to take it back they were refused any meetings, and they were treated like outcasts. Covington wants what is his which is the throne. He claims he has proof of being ignored and told to fuck off by the queen and her people. One possible email even shows the Queen replying to him saying “You might be the rightful King of England but you will never get it because my Family will fuck yours like it has had for hundreds of years” Which is damming evidence. It shows the Queen acknowledging that he is the rightful King of England. That could be the evidence that sinks us.

 

The Queen stands up still wrapped up in the rub and grabs the paper that Oliver is reading.

 

Queen

Yep! That’s my email Queencocaine@hotmail.uk

 

Oliver

Great…

 

INT-CASINO-NIGHT

SWC3 is walking around the casinos on the strip and asking people what they think of him. Everyone calls him an asshole and what is wrong with the world today. He asks if they would support him being the King of England and most people say yes because it would get him out of the USA. To with SWC3 says that it wouldn’t take him out because he would move the throne to Las Vegas inside Caesars Palace.

 

The Episode ends as the news breaks across the world that SWC3 is suing the Queen, going after the throne and is also suing the Queen and her family for one Billion dollars for hundreds of years of mental anguish.