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Visible cyclist. .. ...does that look like Serj Tankian or is it just me?



The VHL is investigating events that took place this morning that could have serious consequences for the New York Americans and their franchise.



Currently Phil Shankly has been taken into police custody and is awaiting the full events of the morning to unfold.


As we currently understand it, it seems that Phil had stayed out late drinking with some friends, some of whom are currently VHL players, including the only other name we can disclose at this time: Covington III. Covington was just passing time until his flight for Helsinki, which was scheduled to depart at 8:00am.


The owner of the bar told us that Phil had arrived at 11pm last night and stayed right through the night. It’s a 24-hour bar and he appeared to be holding his liquor very well, that is until 6:00am, when things got a little hectic.


Phil started yelling at passing cyclists about the safety concerns of not wearing a helmet, saying that they could get a concussion or worse if they were to fall. Most ignored him except for a few who waved their hands dismissively at him. On flipped him off and that made Phil mad. The next off yelled profanities back to him AND flipped him off, and that’s when Phil flipped out.


He ran out into the street and caught up with the guy at a red light not as far as a block away. They exchange some heated words until the cyclist swung a punch at Shankly. Terrible. Idea.




Shankly easily evaded the punch, and side-armed him in the side of the head, knocking him off his bike to the ground. He went on top of him and hammered some not-full-power punch around his head shouting “this would not being hurting if you were wearing a goddamn helmet!!”


Covington, who had ambled up to the scene, suddenly had an excellent idea and started doing lines of coke off the cyclist’s bike frame.  This is when the police showed up. Convington managed to buy his way out of trouble and head home to Helsinki. Phil was not as lucky.


Of course, Phil’s case against will be that it was in self-defense, as the cyclist took the first swing, but Mr. Power has already tried to book Phil for some anger management sessions. He doesn’t want his second-liner becoming soft and docile, as he likes the energy of the young Brit, but he will provide no use to the Americans if he ends up in jail.


Mr. Knight, Shankly’s agent, is nowhere to be found. He refused to be contacted or seen and will probably lie low until this whole ordeal is sorted out.



I guess the moral of the story is that if your stupid enough to not wear a helmet when you go out cycling in the city, don’t get yourself repeatedly punched in the head.




Edited by Phil
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  • Will changed the title to Cyclists

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