eaglesfan036 4,583 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) Multiple Reign Players Arrested due to Giraffe Smuggling In a shocking discovery, there are police reports circulating that multiple players on the Riga Reign were involved in the biggest giraffe scandal in giraffe history. According to reports, Riga allegedly held ten giraffes within their training facilities, with each giraffe wearing a jersey resembling a different VHL team. How any kind of clothing is made for giraffes is questionable, but it would certainly be a tall order. Upon further investigation, the Claude Giroux News Network has the inside scoop on why the Reign decided to house multiple giraffes. According to Riga GM Mike Wozniak, the giraffe fiasco started in the beginning of the season due to Riga’s newly acquired rookie, Robert Gow III. Here’s what Mr. Wozniak had to say, “This is all RGIII’s fault. In the beginning of the season, RGIII asked me how it was possible to transport giraffes to the zoo due to their tall height. When I told him they use special tall trailers with roofs that can be lowered, he didn’t believe me. To prove RGIII wrong, I made a bet with him that I could successfully transport a giraffe from the zoo to Riga. Everything went downhill from there.” To successfully steal a giraffe from the zoo and bring it to Riga’s facilities, Mike had to recruit some members of the Reign. According to multiple team members, Riga decided to send their worst player into the cheetah pit to distract the security team while Brennan McQueen and Damon Tyrael smuggled the giraffe into the giraffemobile. Unfortunately, things did not go according to plan as Robin Gow was too scared to go in the cheetah pit, resulting in a deer being placed there instead. Eventually, Mike and company managed to transport the giraffe back to team facilities, though it must have been a pain in the neck. Once Riga was finished with the giraffe situation, they had to practice for their game against the Seattle Bears the next day. As a joke, Mike Szatkowski Jr. bought a custom made Seattle Bears giraffe jersey and put it on the giraffe. The next day, Riga beat the Bears in a thrilling win. Because they won, Riga became superstitious and decided they needed to get another giraffe and a Cologne Express giraffe jersey before their next game. After smuggling another giraffe using the same plan as before, the Reign dressed it in an Express jersey, resulting in another Riga win! Because the giraffes had won two games in a row for Riga, they decided they needed to have a giraffe represent each team in the VHL. Every morning before practice, Riga would go to the nearest zoo they hadn't already robbed and steal another giraffe until they managed to obtain nine total giraffes to represent all the teams Riga would play. After a string of bad luck and a lot of losses, the Reign decided they needed to smuggle one last giraffe to represent the Riga Reign and satisfy their superstition. Unfortunately for Riga, their final giraffe smuggling did not go according to plan. Someone tipped off the cops about ahead of time, and the cops set a trap for the Reign. After an intense car chase with the giraffe in the back seat, the cops arrested each Reign member involved. It is possible that the each member involved in the giraffe smuggling could face up to ten years in jail. However, it is rumored that the VHL dictator commissioner has bribed police officials to let the Reign out of jail. Edited January 27, 2014 by eaglesfan036 d3vilsfire 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d3vilsfire 132 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 That was a great read! loved it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherifflobo 137 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 What do you get when 4 giraffes collide? A Giraffic Jam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike 708 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I had wondered when you were going to post this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Tortorella 2,653 Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Content: 3/3 - Puns everywhere. Why did we keep stealing multiple giraffes though? Couldn't we just keep one and then change the jersey on it? Anyway, all this does is confirm that the Reign's locker room is one weird place. Grammar: 2/2 - Nothing. Appearance: 1/1 - Drop Caps. And I know that middle picture worked before. Overall: 6/6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smarch 2,939 Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Claimed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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