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Team Fuck You (USA) Roster Announcement [1/2]


BluObieZ
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First off I would like to thank everyone for tuning in for this Team Fuck You announcement. For all of you that do not know, what people usually call Team USA I call Team Fuck You or sometimes even on rare occasions Team Robbie. Why? Because that is America’s attitude towards the world so why not go with it? So you know what? I retract my previous statement. I do not thank everyone for tuning in. Instead I extend a warm and harty FUCK YOU! Don’t you have something better to do with your day? Maybe go outside. You know, where the fucking sun is? I like a normal person haven’t spent more than 20min at home today. To add onto that today is the Super Bowl. Even though it’s the same fucking team in it. But that’s getting away from this announcement. One that these players selected should take in the highest form of accomplishment. Not only you are playing for your fucking country, not only for the fucking stars and stripes but you are playing for me! And my name! I don’t put my name on failing teams and losers… oh wait. Excluding the shortbus. Which was fun, but it didn’t win shit. Recently my agency has become known with winning at all costs. Hell I turned the VHLM into my own little playground and made people hate playing MY ACES. Sure I was fired in a blaze of controversy. Yes I said blaze of controversy. But it does not take away from the fact the VHLM did not and will never see the amount of effort and hype that went into Vegas. Ontop of Vegas is SWC3 and his ass loads of cups and medals. This is not evening mentioning moving Hamilton to New York and giving the VHL the premiere franchise. So for all of this you can thank me now. Go ahead. I will stop talking for a moment… Okay, now to the players you can also thank me now for selecting you. To say it was a hard choice to make would be a lie. I knew all along that Ko Kane and V2EH will take up two spots so that made my decision very easy. So without further fucking stalling I give you your S58 Team Fuck You.

C, Bo Boeser

C, Jack Shephard

LW, John Locke

LW, Gabriel Mcallister

RW, Daryl Dortch

RW,  The Process

D, Ko Kane

D, Pablo

D, Casey Jones

D, Dexter Lane

G, V2EH

G, Apollo Skye

 

I would love to stand here and say we for sure will win the gold this season but our Right side is weaker than a whores knees at the end of a gangbang. Daryl will work his ass off but it’s just weak. Our Goalie duo is probably the best in the tournament, I would love to give the starting job to V2EH but that wouldn’t be a well-liked move.  Our centers and left wingers will be doing most of the scoring but our D is as solid as Trumps wall… wait there isn’t a wall, just prototypes. Okay it’s as solid as his presidency! Wait! FUCK!!!! This press conference is unravelling faster than…FUCK! I think you understand what I am trying to say, so fuck off.

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  • DollarAndADream changed the title to Team Fuck You (USA) Roster Announcement [1/2]

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