Scoring: Use Condoms [1/2]

[BluObieZ 1,125]

Okay I feel like I should probably put a warning on this one. If you are fertile woman please make sure you are on the pill. This MS is about scoring. Not just everyday scoring but scoring that makes goalies shake and think twice about if they are any good. So if you have not taken that pill yet today, do it now.

 

Orion Slade is very close to entering the league, so close that I don’t know if I want to continue earning much more TPE for Kane. I will probably cap him at 800, he is just above 700 right now. I honestly don’t know if I can really hold my excitement for my last player ever for much longer. Why? Because I know how much SWC3 ran shit. Why did he run shit? Well he won three fucking cups that’s for one. Another reason is because he was just dominant on the ice. He made teams fear him while on the ice and he made GM’s beg him to sign with them in the off-season. But one thing they did not know is that most of them had no chance of signing him.

 

With Orion most GM’s actually have a legit shot at signing him but only at one season at a time. He will change teams like it is going out of style. Much like he will be putting up goals like it was going out of style.

 

Now how do we know that he will be this offensive force? How do we know he will fill that net like porn star gets filled in a gangbang? Well look at the long track record of the Robbie Agency. He has a very precise way looking for forward talent. He only wants only the greediest players on the ice. Players that hunt down that puck and don’t want to give it up. Sure SWC3 knew how to pass the puck well but he could finish with the best of them. SWC3 was a hybrid player, none that the agency has ever seen. Orion has done some mind blowing shit with the puck that make people think of SWC3 but even on another level if you can’t even imagine.

 

Forwards that sign with the Robbie Agency must think about themselves first and foremost. If they do not then Robbie may even drop them. Players must think about their personal achievements over their team mates. When they are skating down the ice and they see a hole where they can score an easy goal but they can make a great pass so someone else can get that easy goal they are told they must go for the goal themselves and gloat about it in the face of the other team.

 

But how does Robbie the king of the ego ensure his players adapt his mindset? Well he make sure his players focus on their game with the puck. He knows that when the puck is with the other team that the puck will end up on his players stick. He calls it “Gravitational Awareness” which he explains as “The puck always goes to the best player on the ice, it’s not my fault that my guys tend to be that guy. The puck just follow them around”

 

Another thin his players do is instead of shooting at some shitty front loading dryer, they shoot at the face of the goalies of other teams. Their objective is not only to hit the targets but totally destroy them. No the targets are not made of foam. They are made of steel. These boys know how to shoot and they know how to shoot hard. So hard that it may even brake your goalies wrist. Do your fucking wrist exercises goalies and no jerking off does not count.

 

Robbie talking about Orion said “If when it’s all said and done has not scored 500 fucking goals in his career in the VHL I will be disappointed, I know he will be. 500 goals and at least 4 cups is our goal, anything beyond that is a cherry on top of his career and exclamation point on the end of mine.”

 

For Orion when created

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Review:

SWC3 was definitely a fantastic player!

This Orion guy, however, he isn't a name I know. This media might be a couple of months old, but I want to see Slade being a force in the VHL.

[Phil 5,009]

Orion gunna Belt