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Bears receiving Leadership training


CowboyinAmerica
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Out on a 20 foot sailboat in Puget Sound, self-styled “Leadership guru” Honey Miller holds classes which are billed as helping to groom the next wave of U.S. leaders. Many onlookers believe these sorts of classes represent the worst of hippie training regimens, but Honey has recently seen an uptick in customers from one rare source: the local Seattle Bears hockey team.

 

“Before, I just had a bunch of old dudes in vans trying to learn how to score chicks, or groups of anarchists,” Honey said. “But these big hockey guys? This could be a whole new avenue for us!”

 

The Seattle Bears refuse to comment on any involvement with Honey Miller, but according to sources close with the team, winger Sebastian Ball Jr. visited Honey’s boat directly before the start of the playoffs. Thanks in part to her leadership training, which Honey claims “increased his leadership to 60,” Ball had a spectacular playoff series, including a hat trick in Game 4 against Quebec.

 

Now, other Seattle players want in on the action. Winger Karsten Olsen has been overheard saying that he would also like to visit Honey’s boat over the offseason. “Before we hit S37,” Olsen was overheard to say, “I want my leadership to be at 70!” The Seattle Times has not been able to confirm what any of these numbers mean.

 

Honey Miller will not reveal exactly what type of “leadership” participants in her classes learn. However, before exiting the boat following our interview, this writer heard multiple goat noises coming from below and what looked like a pool of jello in one of the windows of the vessel.

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