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Davos Turns To Voodoo


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Davos Turns To Voodoo



DAVOS - Not even a return trip home could get the Continental Cup closer to the grasp of the HC Davos Dynamo, as the Legion jumped to a commanding 3-1 series lead. However, Davos players and faithful alike are not yet ready to abandon their season. It is often said far too often that desperate times call for desperate measures. Clearly, that is happening here, or else there wouldn't be a story, ya dingus. But anyway, several hundred people, ranging from players to fans to the homeless turned out to conduct a bizarre voodoo ritual.




Crafting an effigy of Toronto goalie Remy LeBeau (artist's depiction above), several sharp and pointy pins were inserted into strategic placements on the effigy. LeBeau's glove hand has been killing the Dynamo's offense thus far, leading to two pins in the arm to stop that. For further affect, a pin was also inserted into the glove itself, because fuck that particular piece of equipment. Two pins each were placed into his meaty thighs, because hell if he's going to be doing any splits or crafty shit with pins there, jackass. Finally, two pins were inserted directly into his penis, because good luck concentrating when your dick hurts.


It remains to be seen whether or not this will have any effect whatsoever on the Continental Cup. But hey, at least they had some fun in the meantime.


Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, who continue to patiently wait for the return of football. He enjoys drinking Minute Maid Fruit Punch, throwing french freedom fries at the elderly and starting campaigns to take back Germany from the freight train overlords.

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