Bald Guy Bio [1/2]

[Galdoblame 26]

As arguably one of the weirdest players that the VHLM has ever seem, Bald Guy has signed with the Halifax 21st, but before he had, life was not this crazy for the young meme sensation.

 

Early life in Osaka, Japan
 

As a child, Bald Guy's life was not an easy one. The youngest of his siblings, he was sold at the tender age of 4 years, to the Japanese Mafia, the Yukuza. Guy's father was a gambler, and needed the money to pay off a debt that he had suddenly incurred and could see no other way to do it than to sell his young son to a someone willing to pay. Unfortunately, the Yukuza demanded his father give him to them for what they for offering so although his father had originally wanted to make sure Guy ended up with someone who would treat him well, he couldn't stop the the Yukuza from taking him. All they left was a single Japanese Yen, but off Guy went with his new owners and as a result, by the age of 4, the poor young man had lost his family, his friends and his home for what would be his new prison, a McDonald's in Osaka, Japan.

Don’t get it wrong, The main McDonald's of Osaka didn’t look much like a Yukuza hideout, but there was a secret underground passageway that lead to an underground prison. In this cold, dank place, the young Guy struggled to survive through the early stages of his life. Beaten, abused and forced into wrongdoing. Once he was forced to steal another child's kinder surprise egg. Another time, the Yukuza wanted Guy to drug a pregnant McDonald's customer's drink so they could steal her belongings. He wasn't a bad kid though and he switched the drug out for salt when his owners weren't watching. Guy grew up in the bad side of the force but inside he remained a good person.
 

At the age of 7, Guy was suddenly forced into the first of many Sumo Wrestling matches. This was his debut as a trainee in the Underground Facility of Advanced Training for the Bushita Raider Organisation, otherwise known as UFATBRO. However, it was not just any ordinary Sumo Wrestling fight, performed for recreation, but rather for the amusement of the Yukuza. The fight club was not on hard ground, but on could ice, and everyone wore ice skates. In this harsh environment, wearing only a small loin cloth, Guy learned how to skate on ice, how to keep his balance on skates, and how to apply physical force against an individual while on the ice. Sometimes, the fight club also practiced a Japanese martial art called Kendo, while skating on the ice.
Fighting non-stop, every single day was a very hard thing for such a young man to sustain. To be sure that Guy got his weight up to par with the other Sumo Wrestlers as quickly as possible, the poor kid was quickly fattened with force-fed corn through a feeding tube, a process known as gavage. The Yukuza monitored Guy's liver to make sure it did not become some kind of Foie gras. With no time for play, Guy's entire life from age 7 to age 10 consisted of nothing but constant training and force feeding. The weight-gains that he made over the first few years were incredible, but it was way too much of a strain on his poor body. The short stature that Bald Guy identifies to this day is in fact a direct result of his obesity. All of the weight on Guy's stomach bent his back and dragged his spine down, preventing him from getting any taller. He instead became a very burly preteen, and eventually grew bulky muscles under his layers of fat from all of the intense, rigorous training. His bones got to be rock hard because of the amount of times he had broken them all.

Because of the extreme lack of socialisation, the harsh treatment he received day in and day out, and the almost permanent feeding tube in is throat, Guy never really learned how to speak normally. He communicated with a series of growls, hand movements and a bunch of other weird sounds that he generated from his throat. Guy's extreme lack of understandable social expressiveness made him very difficult to communicate with and because of this, he was further pushed into isolation.

The new Bald Guy

One day however, at the age of eleven, there was a sudden police raid in the Yukuza hideout in which Guy was kept. This was the moment when his Guy's life finally began to change for the better. The Japanese government took custody of him, and started to educate and rehabilitate him. Guy's growling became words, his face became less scared, and his angry views about the world began to change. Guy did not, however lose any weight. He became a foster child with the family of one of the police officers who had found him, and he discovered what it meant to be loved. The first month was harsh. Guy was so used to being hit and punished, he did not initially understood the meaning behind a simple hug, but eventually it got better, and after about one year of adaptation, the Sumo kid was finally ready to go to school. 

Just as Guy was beginning to make friends at school, some of his biological relatives showed up at his foster home and decided to take them home with them. He never got to see his parents, but he lived with his grandparents for a while and after a few months, they decided to immigrate to Canada to give Guy a better life and a fresh start. He started school in Canada and although his adaption was slow (He had to learn a whole new language after all), Guy eventually began to make friends again. After a while, they invited him to play a new game, which they called ice hockey, at an outdoor rink. His friends told him that whatever he was doing on the ice before was inhumane and not at all similar to hockey and so at the age of 12 years, 10 months and 19 days on the first of February, Bald Guy played ice hockey for the first time.

The Newer Bald Guy

It was love at first sight. The game was just so fun! And while Guy had no idea how to play the game, his skating ability that he had picked up in Japan made him good enough for his friends to be willing to teach him. He gained lots of experience playing with them, and a few years later, when the junior hockey season started, Guy tried out and made the local team.
As a rookie on a totally unknown hockey team, Guy did very well. His reach was not very good because of his short stature, but his weight made it impossible for his opponents to move him and they had to skate twice as far to get around him. And while he may have seemed chubby, he was actually really strong for a 13 year old. It gave him an advantage when battling for the puck. Guy was surprisingly pretty good with his stick and managed to take the puck away from his opponents on a regular basis. Despite what his terrible communication skills might have suggested to other kids, he was not dumb. His gamesense and positioning was stellar for the level he was play at. He did not rack up crazy points on the blueline, but his +/- rating was the highest in the league by some 10 points!
 

On the other hand, the marks Guy was receiving at school on a regular basis were far from being anywhere close to stellar. His lack of ability to communicate in English or French caused major comprehension problems on most of his exams, and his late beginning with education caused him to be far from on par with the other students in history, mathematics and basic science. Guy’s habit of eating random bugs off the ground also caused him to get bullied by a few kids, but he showed them who was boss pretty quickly. To this day, Guy retains that bug habit, which is simply a remnant of his underground captivity in Japan.
 

As a result, in contrast of his great first year in the junior hockey league, Guy’s first school year in Canada was so poor that he eventually failed, to the dismay of his grandparents. 

The Newest Bald Guy and BEYOND
 

They threaten Guy of not letting him play junior hockey next season if he did not at least obtain passing grade. His second year , depicite his best effort , was not better school wise in any way. Infuriated, his grandparents did not allow him to play hockey until he could at least pass a year. Sadden and demoralized, Bald run out of his home and , in a stroke of fate, encountered his coach. The Good Guy coach appaised him , and allowed him to play for his team for free in secret. Unfortunately, he was found out skipping class to play hockey by his grandparents, resulting in a argument . After using his ultimate move on them, he run away from his home and dropped out from school. Good Guy coach, feeling sorry for him, gave him a shelter in his garage, and contacted a scout to make sure his talent will be recognise. As an happy outcome, Bald Guy signed with Halifax 2 week later, ready to show the world you don't need to be a scholar to have success in life.




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Small shout out to my AGM for editing my initial text ! Would be 100% more painfull to read without your magic

Edited January 5, 2019 by Galdoblame

[SirRupertBarnes 217]

This is a very well thought through bio and I really enjoyed reading through it. The backstory was great, Growing up with the Yakuza under the McDonald's was genius. The character development was well written and you did a good job transitioning through the timeline to today. Very well written and I definitely enjoyed reading through this.