Claimed:A Royal Affair

[AwfulHomesick 148]

A Royal Affair

(thanks to Kendrick for the title)

 

After a successful resurgence of the Bern Royals franchise, GM Bushito saw his crop of young prospects find greener pastures in the Season 36 VHLM Dispersal Draft. But two familiar faces remain locker room leaders in Bern. Those two names are Ron World Peace and Blaine Olynick. Being drafted by the Royals 5th and 11th overall last season respectively.

 

Leading in many of their positional stats in several different categories, World Peace and Olynick have seen their play improve dramatically over the off season. World Peace currently sits second among defensemen in points and goals. 6 out of the 8 goals from World Peace have come on the power play, sitting tied for first in the VHLM. Olynick is sitting pretty at a 7-1 record, with a .918% save percentage and a 2.47 goals against average, one of the best in the league at the moment. World Peace is known for his outgoing, partying, and free spirited personality, while Olynick is seen around the league as introverted, competitive, but thinks very highly of himself. Somewhere along the line these two personalities collided and bonded well together.

 

The duo doesn't stop generating great backstopping defense for Bern Royals after this season. This past VHL Entry Draft saw Olynick go 6th and 12th overall respectively, similar to the spots they went to Bern in the VHLM Dispersal Draft. They are both expected to make it to Cologne next season along with more young players GM Collier acquired this past off season. Surely they have great chemistry, but why?

 

"We sort of just clicked at the start," said World Peace. "We were both new faces for the Royals last year and we used that to connect over time. As a defenseman and a friend to Blaine, I learned to trust him at the net, which leaves me with some peace of mind on the ice."

 

 

Ron World Peace breaking up a dangerous play for his buddy Blaine Olynick.

 

Blaine said about World Peace, "He probably thinks I've saved his ass one too many times. In reality, he's probably done the saving for me more times than I have for him. He's an exceptional defenseman and I couldn't ask for a better guy in front of me. I can't wait until we make it to Cologne and show the rest of the league what we're made of." 

 

So what does the future hold for these two? The Cologne Express scouts were very high on the chemistry the two have had both on and off the ice. It was a top priority to pick up both players with the 3 consecutive picks Cologne had in the draft. In time when World Peace is anchoring the blue line for Cologne while Olynick becomes the starting goaltender, opposing teams will take note on how they could beat the duo. From the strip clubs in Bern to the eventual big time in Cologne, the duo will always keep in mind that the other half will always make the game fun for each other, no matter where they may be.

[Guest Svoboda_3]

Content: 3/3

520 words. I didn't know much about Bern before this, but now I know some of the gems that are on the  team. The MS wasn't super long, but it got the job done and was fairly interesting.

Grammar: 2/2

There was a segment which all off the errors came from, but you rebounded.

 

Being drafted by the Royals = Both were drafted by the Royals (how you had it became a sentence fragment)

6 out of the 8 = Six out of the eight/8 (can't begin a sentence with a number unless it's written out)

.918% save percentage = .918 save percentage

introverted, competitive, but thinks = introverted, and competitive, but thinks

for Bern Royals = for the Bern Royals

 

Appearance: .75/1

Just some inconsistencies with the presentation. It appears that the first section is double spaced, while the rest is normal. Maybe just my computer?

Overall: 5.75/6

Edited March 14, 2014 by Svoboda_3

[AwfulHomesick 148]

Yeah for some reason the first few paragraphs come out as double spaced. I think it's due to the picture. I tried screwing around with it but nothing helped.

[Doomsday 4,120]

Content: 3/3 - I had a similar sort of bonding with Davey Jones (Da Trifecta) when we both were drafted onto the Bratislava Watchmen. I had joined just before he had, so I had 29 some games in the VHLM and 40 or so TPE on him. But we ended up playing together with the Watchmen and being familiar faces in a new league for us just brought us together in a way that made the whole experience loads more fun for both of us. We ended up being drafted to different clubs, but he found his way to Davos and it's been such a blast being on the same team with him again. I'm hoping your friendship can bring the best out of both of you... even if you do play for Cologne.

 

Grammar: 2/2 - Slobo is a machine! Overall solid job, just that one spot that tripped you up.

 

Appearance: .75/1 - I had a similar issue with spacing that I couldn't resolve until I simply pasted over it from a plain text document. Very strange, wonder if anyone else has had issues like this or found out what causes it?

 

Overall: 5.75/6 - Not like missing the .25 points really hurts you in the end now, does it?

 

FINAL: 6/6

[Guest]

Claimed