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Short bus Retrospective [2/2]


BluObieZ

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Well hello out there on the VHL forum. How has your day thus far? has it been splendid? I don't care. What I do care about is that my "career" here in the VHL is soon coming to a close. Once Orion hangs up those skates, I will log off for the final time. Hell I may actually get banned for my retirement speech because it will be epic. Having said all that. Welcome to the Short bus Retrospective. With the one true person that can tell you exactly what happened and why I did things the way I did it. If you remember it, then prepare yourself for a fucking flashback. If you are new or haven't been around since... oh like S8ish then you are in for a wild ride.

 

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REWIND YOUR ASS back to a forgotten time in the past. Back when the VHL was more wild and trolls trolled the league HARD. I should know this because, well I was one of those people. I would follow people around and just attack them till they got mad and quit or just left of the day. Me and Kendrick the baby who is not here anymore would go at it everyday. He would call my players shit and so on. His insults were all league related. One thing he didn't figure out and and I'm pretty fucking sure he never did was that I didn't care about my personal stats in the league. I was here to fuck around. It's what I did best and still till this day I am still here because of it. Sure I am leaving because well... life is more fucking important, I still am here fuck around. Sure I want Orion to beast and kill it just like I wanted to SWC3 to beast it, or Guido or Martinez but I never took player insults as... insults. Because this is a fucking fake league so why on earth should I care? 

 

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This story starts in Hamilton. Ah yes the shitty steel city. Around what season you ask? I don't fucking know because the leagues records of that era are long fucked up. The league was thriving as much as a fake online league could. My player at the Time Robbie Zimmers was coming close to the end of his career and I was playing in Hamilton. Promises were made that if I recreate they would draft me and that would help them in their rebuild. I back then was not that big of an ass. No let me finish. I am talking about I didn't openly look to fuck teams over and I liked the GM Chris Julien. But sadly the dude had a melt down and lied about a shit and then rage quit. Before he left he told me I was the GM. Wrong fucking move buddy, because I actually had no intention to GM in this league to that point and I had no intention to stay loyal to anyone. 

 

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The following season I moved the team to NY I believe. Best move ever in league history. Team became the premiere team in the league and everyone knows it. But that's besides the point. By this time I was in Planning my next player who I think was my worst Robin Banks. I was planning to make him a franchise D to help the team. Yes see, I was not 100% planning to fuck the team, only 80% planning to. At the time I tried to make trades but due to my built up hate in the league, GM's either tried to screw me in trades or they refused to even talk trade with me. How is a GM expected to do his job if no one wants to trade with me unless it was a lopsided trade.

 

Most people would have quit right then and there. Not me, I saw this as an opportunity to fuck around. I thought if the other GM's want to fuck around so will I. This started a bunch of things that would in the end be known as the short bus. What exactly is the short bus? well think about all the players people didn't want on their teams because they were annoying and assholes all on one team. I went out and got every last one of them on New York with me. The locker room was a legit shit sow back then. We had a spam thread hundreds of pages long. Just talking trash. Sure I made "promises" to make the team a contender but I knew would just be a team in the playoffs and getting knocked out early. Every trade deadline and every off-season I would not make many trades. The ones I would make would either set the team backwards or just kept them in the same place. I did this so the league could not say I didn't do anything as GM. 

 

It got so bad that we had a really fucking bad season. Like truly horrible. Even the assholes and morons wanted to jump ship at this point. I knew that the trade did it's magic. I was shocked I was not removed as GM. Even though we were so fucking bad we would still talk trash and talk shit around the league. Making people hate us more. How can the worst team think they are so fucking good? most people were confused by this. Well it's called fucking ego boys and gals. Does a trash man not think he is the shit? well he does step in literal shit so maybe that's not a good example. Does a normal fuck with a normal job think they are the shit even though their job and life is meaningless. This team had no purpose other then be shit disturb. Hell we had a hit list in LR of people we wanted to attack and go after. We had gloating battles of people saying what they did that day and then we had people trying to top that shit. It was a literal free for all. It was the wild west. 

 

The crowning "achievement" of the short bus was the Avangard screw job. Where I made such a bad trade that the other team pretty much owned us for like a few seasons. I am pretty sure a few 1st round picks were in it. I didn't do this out of idiocy. I did it because I knew what it would do. The team would stay the same and I could just continue to laugh about it. 

 

Now I know that what I just said sounds like I actively was trying to fuck over these players that assembled in NY but that was not the case. If I was actually offered a trade for any of them I would have traded them. I was just having fun as a GM and they just became my pawns, as shitty as that sounds. Problem was that no one wanted my pawns. In this game of chess the other teams rather get check mated then take one of my pawns. So after all this fuckery my hands were tied. I was not able to fuck around much so I became bored. A bored Robbie is not good for anyone.

 

I hired a AGM in Tarvis Willcox who I got along with and I let him keep the shit cool in the LR  while I just bounced around the league making everyone hate me and my team. it got so bad that some prospects refused to play for NY if I drafted them. Something I started but hey i'm sure Kendrick would tell you that he started it. But he is a moron, he's probably busy with another fake wedding or whatever that was. It got to the point that I could not really draft anyone I could trade to fuck around more. Further handcuffing myself. Luckily I was able to draft Brandon Best. A good solid guy, I stepped down thus ending the Short Bus Era.

 

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Edited by BluObieZ
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Review : I always wanted to see this era live, it was also one of my favorite VHL 20 in 20 moments (i believe it featured there, could be one of the later ones). It's nice to read about it from the inside view of the general manager himself. I really doubt any GM would get away with it nowadays, so its fun to read about. Nice media spot!

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