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50/50 Club


diamond_ace

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clop go the sound
the feet against the ground
rather the asphalt or the grass
never the rubber, never the metal
 
incessant, incessant, incessant
beating back the ghosts
of a ten year memory
long since past its best by date
 
need i remind you that it was 
the rubber, the metal, that spared the grass
coming down the hill
never flew so fast
 
18:57 engraved into the mind
like a time-worn time
cave painting of my life
what was once good can return in a while
 
eight years away, two years to stay
eight and two makes ten
just add the k
or rather the m
 
might as well plop on another three
and a point one just for measurement
see how steely the runner can be
sturdy as rubber, flexible as a post
 
neon blue feeling heavy
tasting salty and dry
confusion spits in my eye
start pondering why
 
but why is not the question
the question is why not
why can't this happen
because i believe it can isn't good enough
 
i have to know
i have to know what would have been
what could have been, what should have been
so channel the anger from within
 
and just beat back incessantly
the ghosts of time past
ten years of fruitlessness
turning into a juicy pear
 
pair of shoes, hair removed
dare to do, scared of who?
it's me against me
and only i can see
 
will it be less than two?
faster than you?
so much work to do
to make much ado
 
the old meets new
but it's kept askew
this is what i'm born to do
only 26.2 for me and for you
 
i'm going but i can't go
i'm stopping but i can't stop
i'm knowing but i can't know
what awaits at the top
 
for the top is just a mirage
i'll always want some more
there's no keeping score
just one more, then one more
 
in a world where time
is not measured by the beat of a clock
is measured by the distance covered
is measured by shoes meeting their ends
 
the goal is not the medal
the goal is not the orange slice
the goal is only the goal
to go until you can't go
 
and then go some more.
 
 
 
 
(A lot of "inside" references in here that I don't expect many of you to get unless you know me and my life pretty well, but the basic idea is still there)
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Basic background info, for what it's worth:

 

I much prefer running on roads or grass to treadmills (rather the asphalt or the grass, never the rubber, never the metal)

 

Ten years ago was my senior year of high school, during which I ran an 18:57 as my fastest race, and never came within even ten minutes of it since. I quit running for eight years, just resumed two years ago albeit at a much greater level recently (last 6 months or so) than prior. (beating back the ghosts of a ten year memory / 18:57 engraved into the mind like a time-worn time / eight years away, two years to stay / etc.)

 

What got me in shape at the time, despite my hatred for them, was in fact a treadmill in the basement. I did only a moderate amount of outside running that summer because it was hotter than average. (need i remind you that it was the rubber, the metal, that spared the grass)

 

Back in high school I only ever did 5ks, since I've been back, even though the speed is nowhere near what it was, the distance far outweighs it. It was a 10k that got me back into it, my longest race to date was a 10 mile, and I have a half marathon coming up in May. (eight and two makes ten, just add the k or rather the m / might as well plop on another three and a point one just for measurement)

 

I wanted to try the marathon back in high school, to this day I believe I was in good enough shape, because my problem was always with speed, never with endurance. My parents wouldn't let me because they said I wasn't prepared. I'm in the process of working up to it now, plan on doing my first one sometime toward the early fall if I can find a good close one. To me, it'll prove the doubters wrong, and that's a huge motivation. (i have to know, i have to know what would have been, what could have been, what should have been, so channel the anger from within and just beat back incessantly the ghosts of time past, ten years of fruitlessness turning into a juicy pear)

 

There's always a point during every race where you question why you're doing it. In longer races it's more pronounced, but even in a 5k it's there. It's just a point of physical exhaustion, where every footstep is like lifting a 50 pound weight, every breath dries out your mouth, etc. For reference, my primary running shoes are neon blue. (neon blue feeling heavy tasting salty and dry, confusion spits in my eye, start pondering why)

 

For the half marathon in May, I have a goal of beating my sister's time. In the long run, not by the one in May because it's too soon but eventually, I want to cut it to under two hours. (will it be less than two? faster than you? so much work to do to make much ado)

 

I've gotten to the point where even having not done some of these distances yet, I'm planning on doing ones even longer afterward, beating my own distance level each time. 10 miles turns into 13.1 (half marathon) turns into 26.2 (full marathon) turns into potentially an ultra (likely the Marshall Mangler 50k as it's nearby and isn't that much longer than a full). (i'm knowing but i can't know what awaits at the top, for the top is just a mirage, i'll always want some more / the goal is only the goal to go until you can't go and then go some more)

 

SO yeah, there's the cliff notes for this one.

 

 

EDIT: The 50/50 club was an award we got in high school cross country for when we'd first ran a total of 50 miles. The majority of the decent runners got there in the first week or so, a few guys struggled with it, but we got t shirts that said "Vincentian Academy Royals 50/50 club"  when we hit the milestone.

Edited by diamond_ace
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