Shackleford Awakens

[K1NG LINUS 145]

After a long and debaucherous off-season, Shackleford had a very slow start to his season. Weeks into the season, and with no improvement in sight, something changed in Shackleford however to awaken his true potential. While there is plenty of wild speculation as to what the initial problems were, from his rumored crippling alcoholism to spending too much free time flying to Malmo to party, it seems that Saskatoon Wild GM Peace has been able to help Shackleford get back on track and back to being a productive hockey player. It is unclear exactly what Peace did to wake Shackleford up from this stupor, but after asking some associates of the Wild franchise, multiple stories about Peace's methods were reported. These include threatening to take away Shackleford's beer, making him smoke an entire carton of cigarettes, and telling him to actually skate on the ice instead of lazily drifting around. 

 

Most disturbingly, Shackleford seems to have little to no recollection of the first chunk of the season, and was horrified to learn of several developments in the league. Upon being woken from his nap in a giant pile of PBR cans a few weeks ago, he very excitedly asked when the VHLM season was going to start, completely unaware that he had actually played in almost half a season at that point. Shackleford concluded his impromptu interview after asking "who the hell is Hulk Hogan and why does he have suggestive pictures of me?" Suggesting that @HulkHogan may in fact have been behind Shackleford's mysterious memory loss and subsequent lascivious behavior. 

[Peace 1,518]

Can confirm, told Rusty to race our ice clearing crew to see who was faster: It was either him or the Zamboni... the zamboni won. 

 

He’s been skating with bricks attached to his skates every practice since. 

Edited June 3, 2019 by Peace