Dancing Bear

[Dangles13 373]

Somewhere in Russia - ATTENTION! ATTENTION! You've heard it here first. Russian sniper, the myth, the legend, the drinker of vodka and fucker of women, Valeri Morozov is going to fight a Polar Bear. The decision was thrown down by Vladimir Putin himself and describes it as one of his better moves since invading Ukraine and has dubbed himself as the prophecy and fighter against all who are not from Mother Russia. The fight is set to happen on December 24th, in the forest out side of a small town that nobody can pronounce. The alleged bear's name is Kyoto and Putin named him that because fuck David Suzuki and Global Warming. He stands in at 11 feet, weighs 1,183 pounds and can bench press 666. The match is set to be a "Hell in the Cell" style of brawl with no rules given to either fights. A large amount of objects and material will be kept in the cell, including tables, chairs, vibrators, empty vodka bottles and dull pocket knives. 

 

Winner of the match will receive $50,000 rubies and win a trip to Ukraine for a week.