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The Hawk House Rises


K1NG LINUS
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Earlier today, Nighthawks Defenceman Rusty Shackleford is reported to have purchased a 15 bedroom house in the city of Malmö. Shackleford blew through almost his entire bonus to do this, and immediately set about nailing 2x4 planks of lumber over the front door to spell out "Hawk House," though several pieces have already fallen off.

 

Shackleford was originally quoted as saying "I couldn't decide who I wanted as a roommate, so I decided to just be roommates with the whole team!"

 

Multiple members of the Nighthawks have been sighted entering the home, leading some to believe that the entire Nighthawks roster is living under one roof. 

 

frat-party.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom

Pictured above: Shackleford, Garcia, and Materazo playing the signature Malmö drinking game: "Drink the Beer," in which the only rule is to drink as much beer as possible.

 

Every hour on the hour semi trucks have been arriving and unloading kegs and commerical pallets of various types of liquor. Since the festivities began, sounds of raucous chanting and yelling mixed with Russian Hard Bass have filled the surrounding neighborhood, and the smell of cheap lager now permeates from the building.

 

The empty kegs and commercial sized pallets of hard liquor have already begun filling the Hawk House's driveway, causing their neighbors to become concerned by what is surely enough alcohol to kill a herd of elephants being consumed nearby. 

 

Shackleford has explained that the Hawk House plans on hiring VHLMers to clean up the party debris, but that they would only be paid in beer. 

 

 

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