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Rusty Shackleford Admitted to Malmo Hospital After Being Breathed Upon by MORPHEUS


Gustav
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MALMO--The Nighthawks' experience this past season was disappointing to say the least, but that didn't stop the team, and their new class of players, from having a good time Wednesday night, as several of the team's players were spotted at a local bar. Good times were had by all, until defenseman Rusty Shackleford was breathed upon by new callup MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS. 

 

"I don't know, I guess I just got a bit too close to him," said Shackleford from a hospital bed Thursday night. "He kinda leaned over and breathed fire all over me, and now here I am." 

 

"We were all having fun playing 'Drink the Beer,' our favorite party game," said forward Matthew Materazo, "but then Shack caught on fire and we had to tranquilize MORPHEUS and that was that for the night." 

 

Meanwhile, DESTRUCTIOUS declined to offer an apology for his actions, although he did acknowledge that he was told not to "DEVOUR SOUL OF LITTLE MAN IN SAME COLORED SHIRT" by team management after the incident. 

 

Shackleford is in stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery by the start of the season.

 

 

Mentioned: @K1NG LINUS @Matt_O @Abaddon 

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1 hour ago, GustavMattias said:

We were all having fun playing 'Drink the Beer,' our favorite party game," said forward Matthew Materazo,

 

Might be some of the wittiest satire I've read in a Fan590 in years. Thanks to the laugh tbh. 

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12 hours ago, Matt_O said:

I will never look at MORPHEUS the same way. I'm surprised he didn't slaughter me when I kicked him out of the Vegas locker room

YOU HAVE KICKED MORPHEUS OUT OF LAS OF VEGAS????????????

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