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Claimed:How many teams can Encarnacion fuck over in his career?


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Seriously, FUCK THIS GUY!


Many people have made the suggestion that the former baseball star Edwin Encarnacion entering the hockey world is perhaps the worst thing to ever happen to the VHL, those people are morons. Why? There’s no “perhaps” about it, Edwin Encarnacion’s hockey career, if you can even call it that, is without a doubt the worst thing to happen to the VHL. He can’t skate, he knows barely any of the hockey related terms and there’s more than enough people who’ve suggested to Encarnacion that if he loves penalty minutes so much, maybe he should just build a penalty box in his back yard and stay the hell away from VHL. Perhaps the most impressive “feat” Edwin Encarnacion has performed to date is the amount of teams he has single-handedly managed to fuck over in such a short space of time. He’s only been in the league two and a half seasons, yet Encarnacion has already managed to fuck over three teams. Yes, you’ve got that correct, he’s fucked over more than one team per season he’s been in the league. This report details the shocking effect that the former Blue Jays player has had on the teams of the VHL.



Cologne Express


Prior to the season 35 draft, many had Edwin Encarnacion going to the Cologne Express with the fifth overall pick. However, the Riga Reign, looking to rebuild, traded with the Express to grab the fifth overall pick along with a season 36 first round selection (who turned out to be Sami Kravinen), at the expense of star defenseman Malcolm Spud and the eighth overall pick in the season 35 draft, Frederik Ernst. However, after Ernst was drafted, it was made clear that there was a problem with the player’s passport, meaning he could not play in Cologne, and forced the team to immediately trade him. Unfortunately for Cologne, they were only able to grab a season 37 second and third round selections in the season 36 and 37 draft in exchange for their first round selection.


The real reason that Express didn’t want the fifth overall pick? They were piss scared of what a player of Encarnacion’s reputation would do to a team with championship aspirations. While Spud has been a resounding success for the Express, it’s a shame that because they didn’t want Encarnacion, they ended up selecting a player with previously unknown passport issues. Let’s also point out that if Encarnacion hadn’t existed, then the player who would have gone on to be the fifth overall pick would have been a certain Conner Low, who some may argue is actually better than Spud after just one full season in the VHL.



Riga Reign


With three quarters of the season gone, nobody would have envisioned that Edwin Encarnacion would be leading the league in a statistical category. Unfortunately for Riga, the category in question was penalty minutes as in 53 games, Encarnacion had racked up an incredible 222 penalty minutes. Even after the rest of the season had played out, nobody had racked up more minutes in the penalty box than Edwin had in those 53 games. Fed up with his first round selection spending more time in the penalty box than on the ice, Riga GM Mike Szatkowski negotiated a trade with the Seattle Bears to take the Dominican off his hands. In return, the Seattle Bears gave up Brennan McQueen, a player who was drafted seventh overall in the same draft that Encarnacion had been drafted fifth overall.


So basically, the Reign had traded up from the eighth overall pick in the season 35 draft to the fifth overall pick, at the expense of their star defenseman Malcolm Spud, in order to draft Encarnacion. Then, seeing how shocking Encarnacion was on the ice, they traded him straight up for the player who was selected two picks after him. One would speculate that if the Reign had simply have tried to trade up one selection in the draft in order to grab McQueen, they wouldn’t have had to give up nearly as much as they had to in order to grab Encarnacion with the fifth. That would also have allowed them to trade Malcolm Spud to another team and get more value for him elsewhere, which maybe would have seen then able to make a proper push at HC Davos Dynamo this season.



Seattle Bears


And now the Bears, unquestionably the team that got most fucked over by Encarnacion. Following the trade with the Reign, Seattle had thought that they had secured one of the better young defensive talents to complement their already strong defensive core.  Spoiler warning: THEY DIDN’T! In 59 appearances for the Bears, Edwin managed to put up just 6 points for the Bears. Yes, six. That’s just over a point every ten games. Edwin was in no danger of improving either. Upset at being given 6 minutes a game less on the ice than he had been getting at Riga, reducing his chances of breaking any more penalty minute records, Edwin had stopped turning up for practice relatively early on into his Bears stint.


In the end, the Bears organization cut their losses and traded Encarnacion and a second round selection in the season 38 draft away in exchange for Gregory Glass, a player who was about to enter his final season on the ice. So essentially, in the space of one season, Encarnacion had gone from being traded for the seventh pick in the draft to not even being worth enough on his own to equal the value of a player who, with all respect, was fairly ordinary and had already made plans for retirement. It’s worth noting the practice hours for the players involved with these trades, Gregory Glass is just weeks away from retirement and will end his career with 423 recorded practice hours. Meanwhile, Brennan McQueen, the player that Seattle traded away in order to get Encarnacion, has recorded 489 practice hours. Not only does McQueen have a significant gap over Glass (who is now a member of the Quebec City Meute) in practice hours, he’s also got plenty of years left in the tank and is on course to at least eclipse 800+ training hours. As if to make Seattle feel any worse about their trade decisions involving Encarnacion, the defenseman somehow managed to put two goals past Steven Smyl in a game earlier this season, which equalled the pitiful amount of goals that Encarnacion had recorded for the Bears in 59 games.

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Content: 3/3 - Edwin Encarnacion: Locker Room Cancer? Something must be fishy with this guy to keep moving around from organization to organization. Overall, it was an enjoyable read that looked through the career of Encarnacion to date.


Grammar: 1.5/2 - A large list when you look at just the total number, but it was just the same small mistake over and over again.


VHL, those = VHL. Those

short space of time. = short amount of time

season 35 = Season 35 (x2)

season 36 = Season 36 (x2)

season 37 = Season 37 (x3)


Appearance: 1/1 - Always good.


Overall: 5.5/6

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Guest Svoboda_3

Content: 3/3

1,090 words. I'm not sure if the fuck over is intentional, but it sure made for a great Media Spot. Not only did the story have beef, but it explained where in each instance, the fuck over took place and how.

Grammar: 1.5/2 

Capitalizing "Season" and such is just more or less looking consistent. As for everything else, they were smaller and while they did add up, it wasn't as bad as the list indicated. Spelling players' names right is a must however.


season 35 draft = Season 35 Draft (x3)

season 36 = Season 36 (x2)

Malcolm = Malcom (x3)

season 37 = Season 37 (x2)

that Express = that the Express

games, = games;

season 38 draft = Season 38 Draft

trades, = trades;


Appearance: 1/1

It was very pleasing.

Overall: 5.5/6>>> 6/6

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