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Houston Bulls Locker Room Overflowing with Tension


SweatyBeaver

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What was once a lively and jovial locker room with laughter and excitement is now filled with silence and tension. For the Houston Bulls this season has been anything but a success. It is only 11 games into the season and the Bulls are 1-7-3 with a negative 7 goal differential.

 

“This is obviously not the start we are looking for…to be honest we do kind of suck right now, but there is no way it could get worse…right?” GM Sonnet told reporters after her teams latest loss. “At least our goalie got an assist” She said desperately trying to see the bright side.

 

Gregg ‘The Belgian Beauty’ Stallion has found it hard to be positive on this team “I want to win, and I am used to winning, I have learned a lot of humility playing for Houston.” Stallion told a local reporter. “I want to win with Houston, I love my teammates and I want us to actually win something, but for now I am going to the bar to drink.” Stallion said as he and his teammates once again went to their favourite bar to drink their sorrows away.

 

Houston Bulls fans are understandingly frustrated with their teams status in the VHLM but they are optimistic that the team can turn around and win some games. “My hope for this team is that they can get 10 wins by the end of the season. Honestly though I am expecting about 6 wins with this team.” The anonymous fan said as he burned his Houston Bulls jersey.

 

“I think one of the biggest problems we have right now is that there are about 12 robots that play on our team and they really weigh us down.” An anonymous player who wished not to be named in fear that the robots on the team would kill him said. “I think we need actual humans in all positions on our team, don’t get me wrong Bot 2 has done his part on our team but I cannot help but feel that someone with flesh and blood might actually contribute better.” Another unidentified player said in a recorded Uber rant.

 

“I play hockey good, I shoot puck good, Houston bad but we make it better” Bot 2 said in an interview after the game where he once again finished the game as the top bot on the team by recording one shot that missed the net by 6 feet. “Bots better than human filth team be better just with bots” Bot 4 said chiming in and though he spoke in a monotone robotic voice there was a noticeable edge of malicious intent in said statement.

 

Houston police are well aware of the trouble brewing in Houston between the teams bots and actual players. “We have found a disturbing amount of human body parts near the residence of the Bull’s bots, right now we consider this a coincidence but we will keep a close eye” Police told reporters as Bot 7 was seen in the background repeatably stabbing a bunny and then devouring it whole. “Once again there is no reason to be concerned for the well being of this team.” Officer Jenkins said before he vanished never to be seen again.

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Gregg Stalllion.png

Edited by SweatyBeaver
Better Spacing
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10 minutes ago, Sonnet said:

I was going to quote individual parts but honestly I love everything about this article

 

...I also have no further comment about any of the news or allegations presented

Reality in Houston is more bizarre than anything at this point

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