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An Undiscovered Talent


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If there were a question on the next Family Feud asking: “What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the country Brazil?” the top answer would be soccer. O jogo bonito, the beautiful game. The nation has won 5 world cups and is known for producing some of the greatest players the sport has ever seen. After getting the #1 answer, you’d probably choose to play and your family would start knocking answers off the board; Carnival, coffee, Rainforest, beaches. Except for your brother who would say some crude answer just to elicit an over-the-top reaction from the caricature of a human being, host Steve Harvey.


Hockey would not appear on the list of answers. If someone answered hockey you’d want to give them a simple cognitive test called a MoCA who’s creator said the test “is supposed to be easy for someone who has no cognitive impairment.”  The test includes asking them to list 5 items in order. Soccer. Carnival. Coffee. Rainforest. Beaches. Then you’d ask them other simple questions, like what day is it, repeat a sentence I read to you, and identify an animal from a drawing. Then a memory test: repeat those same 5 words from earlier. Soccer. Carnival. Coffee. Rainforest. Beaches. If that person passed the test, you’d be happy they don’t have dementia. But it would be shocking if they then went and boasted about “acing” the test. You’d take them aside and remind them the test is supposed to be easy and the reason they took it in the first place is because there was concern about their mental faculties.


This is why it is so surprising that reports of a hockey talent unlike any other have started to trickle in from deep within the Amazon rainforests of Brazil. Very little is known of this player. There is no footage and no official stats because he has not played for any inline or ice hockey league in Brazil. Philadelphia Reaper GM, Domini Maximus is said to have discovered the player while on a recent vacation to Brazil. However, she has been tight lipped about what she knows. The only thing she said is “wait for the S75 Entry Draft creation date.”


The wild and imaginative rumors flying around are indicative of this lack of details. He must be a physical specimen to catch the eye of a vacationing Maximus, that much can be assumed. But does he have any hockey knowledge? One VHLM scout speculated “Can he even skate? Has he ever held a stick before? There’s like 3 ice rinks in all of Brazil, where would this kid be able to play and remained unnoticed by anyone?”


Another rumor is that the player is exclusively a carnivore. Meaning he only eats meat, no fruits or vegetables at all. “One thing we heard is that he’s extremely protective of plant live. So much so that he doesn’t harm any plant life at all. An all meat diet. Is that even healthy?”


In today’s world where information travels at the speed of light, it’s rare to have someone with so little known about them. Time will tell if Mx. Maximus has uncovered a hidden gem. We all await the S75 declaration date to get our first glimpse of this player.

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