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Joe Kelly switches sports


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Dodgers Dugout: Joe Kelly wins the hearts of Dodgers fans - Los Angeles  Times

Joe Kelly showing no remorse for putting cheaters in their place

 

“The SH”V”L?”

“No, the VHL.”

“What the f--k kinda ripoff name is that?”

 

With those words between Joe Kelly and his agent, his fate was sealed. Since Rob Manfred had banned Kelly from Major League Baseball for life for his steadfast refusal to fellate Manfred, as well as being the most vocal antagonist of the scumbag organization known as the Houston Astros, Joe had been looking for new ways to flex his athletic prowess and still make enough money to impress the honey’s. Originally having considered the SBA, Kelly quickly tossed aside that option as he didn’t feel like playing in a league with only two real teams. He then considered football in the EFL, but his agent advised against this due to “speed being king”, and Kelly not being an olympic sprinter.

 

Thus, Kelly began to set his sights on the VHL - more specifically, the VHLM. Despite not even knowing how to skate, Joe was intrigued by the ability to hit anyone he disagreed with, as well as the freedom to carry a dangerous weapon on him at all times. 

 

In order to prepare for this major shift in profession, Joe knew he had to bring in the best. Wanting to make a big impression on any potential VHL suitors, he shelled out for the best tandem skaters alive to train him how to maneuver on the ice - Chazz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy. With their help, Kelly was quickly able to pick up the ability to skate efficiently and effortlessly, even eventually lending his ability to improving their own Iron Lotus. 

 

Watch Blades of Glory | Prime Video

Chazz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy, responsible for Kelly's skating prowess.

 

For play on the ice, however, Joe needed to dig deeper. His years of focusing on another sport meant he was behind in even the most basic of formations and play - and thus, it was Joe’s idea to reach out to someone who was a master at teaching kids to win in Pee-Wee - Gordon Bombay. With Bombay’s help, Kelly was able to adapt to puck handling and shooting at a rate Bombay had never seen out of a child. He even learned something called a “knuckle puck” that is sure to come in handy as he climbs through the VHLM ranks.

 

Gordon Bombay | Disney Wiki | Fandom

Coach Bombay, responsible for teaching Kelly how to handle a puck and score.

 

With the training received from Michaels, MacElroy, and Bombay, Joe Kelly appears primed to break into the VHLM - and, eventually, and VHL - with some noise. Playing time so far has been minimal, but Kelly knows that will come with time, when it is earned - which is all Kelly desired. To earn his place.

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