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Claimed:Tales of the Continental Cup


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Tales of the Continental Cup

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DAVOS - For the second time in a span of three years, the HC Davos Dynamo have returned home with the most coveted prize in the Victory Hockey League: the Continental Cup. With their victory in the rubber match over the Toronto Legion, Davos has been preparing all night for the triumphant return of their boys, ready to begin the celebration all over again. But, with a Continental Cup victory comes yet another storied tradition of the VHL: spending the day with the cup itself. We here at the MSFL Times (the name isn't changing, deal with it) have learned about the travels of the Continental Cup with the Season 38 HC Davos Dynamo and we are only more than happy to share some of these stories with you:

 

Shane Baker

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The hero of Game Six, Baker's game, series and cup-winning goal officially kicked off the celebrations in Davos. Naturally, the team felt that Baker should have his turn with the Continental Cup first. However, his turn with the cup did not last long. After a relatively quiet night, authorities were summoned to an engraving store just outside of Davos, where they found Baker trying to have the names of several SHL players engraved on it. Thus ended his time with the cup, and in all intents and purposes this is likely the last we'll see of the retired defenseman.

 

Davey Jones

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Formerly with the Cologne Express, this cog of the Davos war machine did not forget his roots. After spending time with hometown fans, the Continental Cup went on a tour of Cologne, somehow seeming to travel past members of the Express. Naturally, the cup also somehow made it to Riga to make a drive-by past Kameron Taylor as he was moved into a retirement home, which put a stop to the day's activities there. Miraculously, both Jones and the Continental Cup returned to Davos in one piece.

 

Victor Alfredsson 

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Although Alfredsson stepped aside as general manager of the Dynamo, he remained an integral part of the team's staff throughout the season. Combined with his role as the architect of the current team, everyone felt that Alfredsson should have his day with the Continental Cup as well. Basking in the cup's glory, Alfredsson used his day with it to get his memoirs done. With the perfect muse in his office, he was able to get a significant amount of his writings done. In the last hour with the cup, Alfredsson asked the Continental Cup to proofread his work. Reportedly, the cup determined he had made six errors.

 

Thomas Landry

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The captain of the team, Landry was Alfredsson's first big addition to Davos when he took over in Season 35. The two-time Grimm Jonsson winner has become an integral piece to Davos' run and some have even gone as far to call him the heart and soul of the team. When it came time for the captain's turn, it also became Davos' turn with the cup. Landry allowed the Dynamo's loyal fans to come spend time with himself and the cup at the Zurich Center, choosing to use his time with the ultimate prize in the VHL to create the opportunity of a lifetime for many hockey fans. Reports state that Landry and the cup arrived hours early in order for it to be properly polished and cleaned. Additionally, the cleaning of the cup was also repeated before it was to go to Felix Zamora.

 

Felix Zamora

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Landry should perhaps have not wasted his time on cleaning the cup a second time, for Zamora had other plans for the Continental Cup. With the season now over and Zamora becoming a champion for the first time, he planned to celebrate in a big way. That big way ended up being to use his day with the cup to make all sorts of different meat products, using the cup as storage for said meats. It is unknown how many pounds of sausage the Continental Cup was stuffed with, but it is confirmed that Zamora took no steps to disinfect or otherwise clean it before passing it off to Nikita Lebedev, who has since been hospitalized due to reasons we're sure you can guess.

 

Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, specializing in appropriately timed comebacks. He enjoys petting wild bears, sparring with Goku and getting those last digs in on an old rival.

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Content: 3/3 - Another great article from you, always humorous. No mention of Jarkko though :(

Grammar: 2/2 -  Works for me.

Appearance: 1/1 - Meat pics are always good lol.

Overall: 6/6

 

Final: 6

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