Thunder’s Wordcast by the Impaired Podcaster - Episode #5

[Thunder 1,205]

Welcome to episode #5 of Thunder’s Wordcast for the Podcasting Impaired.  This week the name is being changed to the Impaired Podcaster, because its me who cant do a fricking podcast and its more appropriate to title it specifically pointing to me.  I wish I had the stones to do a podcast because listening to podcasts is much more entertaining than reading a wordcast, hence the reason nobody reads this other than the person signing off the 6 TPE, and who really knows if that person reads the entire story.

 

In today’s wordcast, the topics will include Jake Thunder’s fight with Brian Payne, Thunder’s piss poor performance last week, a quick review of the first weeks games, and if there is time a traffic anecdote.

 

Starting with the fight of the century.  The first official VHL fight between Jake Thunder and Brian Payne.  I can’t tell you how long this has been brewing and it couldn’t have happened at a better time.  I’ve been egging Scurvy to trash talk for over a season and the asshole stayed on the high road and barely made any derogatory comments last season.  The thing is, Scurvy is so damn witty, he could have come up with a hundred one liners or a variety of challenging comments to stir the pot, but he didnt and look what it got him, the Cup.

 

All of that changed last week, when Scurvy reacted to a Thunder article about Brian Payne, and he retaliated with a hilarious interaction between Jake Thunder and Brian Payne outside a nail salon.  Shortly after that, HC Davos played against the Warsaw Predators, setting up a match up between Payne and Thunder.  It was perfect.  The second period started and every pass Payne attempted was intercepted by Thunder.  And then shortly after a Davos goal, Payne lost another puck and went after Thunder.  It didnt take Thunder long to put Brian Payne in his place, “Thunder beats up Payne,” sending both players to the penalty box.

 

I took a screenshot of the fight and sent it to Scurvy.  All Scurvy could reply was, “Ha ha.  I was tired.”  Yeah Scurvy, you were tired all right.  Tired of Brian Payne losing the puck to Jake Thunder.  Bam!  The rivalry continues.

 

The next topic is about the VHL this first week.  WTF!  HC Davos is supposed to be in first place, leading the European Division, but instead Davos is bringing up the rear and a rebuilding team, Helsinki is in first place.  It doesn’t make any sense.  Davos GM Alex, has tweaked the lineup, which seems to have helped a little.  Now we just have to play some more games so that Alex can continue to analyze and make further adjustments he sees fit to bring Davos up in the standings.

 

As far as Helsinki goes, who the hell knows what their problem is.  They should be in the lower part of the rankings but instead they have the best record in the VHL.  They have no skaters over 1000 TPE.  They only have two defenders.  But, they do have a sick goalie in Xavier Booberry.  His save % is like .938 and probably won’t get any lower.

 

Now to the traffic anecdote.  Granted, this isnt even close to the entertainment that Spartan provides on his podcasts involving the Jersey drivers but here you go.  It just so happens that I have a traffic complaint.  How simple is it to pull your dumb ass out of the roadway instead of blocking traffic just because you want to make sure the police see that you were rear ended.  Last week, I left the house and when I got to the major street I noticed quite a bit of traffic.  Often times there is steady traffic on this north/south street, but this time the traffic was quite slow.  As I pulled up to the stop sign, I saw the issue.  Two cars were stopped in the north bound lane and the driver in the front car was standing on the passenger side of her vehicle on her cell phone with her free arm flailing around.  The northbound traffic was stopped behind this mess while they waited for an opening in the southbound lane to go around the two cars.

 

While I sat there waiting for a clearing, the second car in the pile up moved to the right shoulder, but the dingbat in the first car continued to provide quite a show.  Traffic got so backed up that the northbound drivers decided to make a run for it into the southbound lane, even when cars were coming south.  I almost got to witness a head on.  After waiting for over two minutes, I clearly saw that there it was going to be quite difficult for me to get into the southbound lane so I turned around and found another route.

 

To finish this story, 30 minutes later I completely forgot about the arm flailing ignorant driver until I was coming north on the street to make my right turn towards my home.  There she was, the flamboyant bitch, standing on the side of the road screaming at the traffic cop who was smart enough to have the car moved out of the lane of travel.  I so badly wanted to use the Eddie Murphy saying in the movie “Trading Places,” which is, “Excuse me officer, might I suggest using your nightstick.”  But instead I shook my head and drove home.

 

915 words