Sugar, Sugar, Salty, Pepper

[John Cimarno 252]

John Richards is an absolute menace, he can score, he can pass, he can dance and he can not remember the name of the man who told him he was his son. Richards, having the IQ of a goldfish, often forgets who his parents are. His parents, Gold and Fish, have been trying to get him to be smarter but it has been hopeless. They have brought him to the doctors office multiple times but they forgot that the dentist is not the doctor. Low IQ must run in the family. Although Gold and Fish are smart enough to drive, they have terrible memories. They also tend to occasionally try to breathe in water for no reason then proceed to choke on it. The Richards' family is quite weird. 

 

John has been living his best life in the VHLM getting paid no money to score goals. It's actually a miracle that he became captain. Man can't even remember the names of his own teammates. John has a weird pregame ritual of waving his stick around for no reason. He goes to the locker room and pretends he is riding his stick as well. One day someone walked in on him committing this weird act and he said "can you read this Oreo? I think it's German." The poor person who had to encounter Richards proceeded to read the word "Oreo" and Richards said "you're welcome" and went back to riding his stick. He then went out to the bench and layed on the ground saying jibberish until the coach told him to go score a goal. Of course the only word he understood was goal so he got on the ice and got the puck and scored on his own net. 

 

I don't think that's what his coach meant but Richards didn't care he started doing snow angels in celebration for his own goal. He should have 40 goals by now if own goals counted as regular goals but he doesn't. His coach sees this as a gamble either Richards will score on his own net or he will score on the opposing teams net. Either way he does what's asked of him so you can't get mad at that. He is currently doing jumping jacks on the toilet while balancing on a frog he got from the local pool.

 

He once kissed a frog hoping it would turn into a princess but it said ribbit, got up and walked away. Turns out that wasn't a frog, it was a dude dressed up in a green hat and said what the heck when John kissed him. I once heard him say yabba dabba doo in the bathroom and got angry when he heard his echo because it was copying him. That was a 2 hour screaming match with himself. John Richards has had issues with self awareness, social awareness and self control. I hope he goes to school tomorrow and doesn't end up at the local supermarket like last week. 

[sadie 941]

this is a brilliant masterpiece

my echo copies me too; it’s so weird

[John Cimarno 252]

2 hours ago, sadie said:

this is a brilliant masterpiece

my echo copies me too; it’s so weird

IT DOES?!