Between the Periods with Nikolas Kauppi ft. Bobbus Dingus - The Switcheroo

[Tetricide 695]

 

Bobbus Dingus appears first -- quiet, nervous, and might be pissing himself again. An unusual first for Bob, especially since this is his show and he's always talking. Someone off-camera clears their throat deliberately so the camera is focused on them. It's Nikolas Kauppi with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

 

What's up, hockey world! Bob freezes up completely knowing Kauppi intentionally changed the intro line to try to piss him off. My name is Nikolas Kauppi, the captain of the Mexico City Kings. Welcome to an episode of Between the Periods with... Bob has a look of horror on his face as if everything he's worked for up to this point is about to be set on fire. ...Nikolas Kauppi featuring my very special friend Bobbus Dingus! Bob here is a somewhat established figure here in the VHLM community, primarily with our fans here in Mexico City. Always has something cheeky to say and always ever in a chipper mood! How are you today, friend?

 

It took a moment, but Bob was able to force an awkwardly fake smile on his face before answering.

 I...I'm doing quite well. Th...thanks, Nikolas! Thank you for br--

 

Oh, I'm glad to hear it! Now, not too many people know about your personal life. Bob's entire face goes white.  But, luckily for our audience, we're best of friends! Why don't you tell everyone about the hockey team you're on? Come on, Niko. You know I'm not on-- Everyone knows you're not in the VHL, but what about the league you are in?

OK, fine. Yes, I'm in a beer league. I play goalie, and I might not be that great but I--

 

Yeah, with a .570 save percentage and 10 goals allowed average per game. No wonder you didn't cut it.. Anyway, your team stands at the bottom of the standings--

Right, not too much different than your team.

There used to be a pencil Nikolas was fiddling with, but it snapped in half at that remark.

...how do you think your team could rise in the standings?

I don't think any of us expect to. We're just there to play the sport we love to watch and have fun. We don't really care too much about winning.

 

This past week, 2 of our defensemen put out a statement about trade rumors and that they're here to stay in Mexico City. What are your thoughts on this news?

I was overwhelmed with relief when Quinn stated they're here to stay! By far-and-wide my favorite defenseman on the Kings. That Womp guy though...I don't know how the league lets guys like that in. Absolute brute.

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me get this straight... You don't like Womp? The guy I kinda look up to who just so happens to be on my team?
Niko...This guy doesn't add any value to the team. It's like playing tennis with a teammate and your teammate is a dog that just chases the damn tennis ball. He's not helping you score.

 

Nikolas stares off, contemplating his next move for the next several seconds before speaking at the camera.

Okay, well, I think that's gonna do it for today's episode of Between the Periods. I'll see you on the next, but you might not see Bob!

 

Alright, turn off the camera. Come here, Bob. BOB, DON'T RUN IT'LL JUST DELAY THE INEVITABLE!

The camera slowly fades off as furniture can be heard possibly being thrown and broken and the terrified screams of Bobbus Dingus echoing in the background.

 

588 words, using for PT for week ending 9/25.