Brian Payne Seeks Out Witchcraft

[Thunder 1,166]

This is yet another 2 TPE article specifically to get under the skin of Warsaw Predator defenseman, Brian Payne.  Payne is having a great season in all categories except the one that really counts.  That is fights.  He just cant seem to get in any.  And the one he did instigate, he got pounded by Jake Thunder.  Since that first fight, Payne has tried time after time to get back into the tough guy scene, only to be shying away from any battles.  And now its not until game #551 before Warsaw meets HC Davos again and Payne will try to strut his stuff like a horny peacock.

 

Brian Payne has sought out all sorts of outside help, to include witchcraft,  fortune tellers, and even resorted to bribery recently.  He was seen the other day, wearing those same spandex with the zipper in the rear, walking out of Greta’s Fortune Reading.  Payne was wiping the tears from his eyes as he put his scooter helmet on and jumped on his 125 cc Zuma and hummed out of the parking lot.  When he arrived at his next stop, Katie’s Kitchen, Payne was overheard explaining his disappointing tarot reading that Payne should avoid game #551 at all costs to avoid embarrassment once again.  Payne kicked a pebble in frustration, swung his leg wildly causing the Velcro on his shoe to loosen.  His shoe sailed in the air smashing through the window of Curves.  Big Mama came out to console Payne and got him inside to finish his abductor workout.

 

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